My Top 10 Favorite Video Game Heroines

I know I'll probably have a list that others disagree with, but these are my favorite female characters from video games. Some popular, some not well known, but all ones who I personally could look up to. Also, the photos in this blog were found online under Google Searches. I do not own them.

First let me go over a couple of honorable mentions:

GLaDOS: I really considered putting her on, but even stretching it GLaDOS would be more of an antagonist than a heroine, and not even really an anti-heroine. So I'll bench her until I arrive at a proper list.

Clementine: From the Walking Dead series, Clementine grew through the seasons from an innocent child to one that could protect herself. I still don't feel as close to her as I do these other ten, but she is very respectable, being able to take down both zombies and adults... To be fair I think the only reason she's not on this list is because of my own troubles with the Walking Dead game, which I won't dwell on.

Now onto my actual list.
MY TOP: 10 Favorite Video Game Heroines

10: Faith Conners from Mirror's Edge



I put her so low on this list because she's basically getting a reboot in the near future and I know there's a chance her personality will be changed. Technically that's going to be her canonical character after it comes out so for now I'm talking about Faith from the first game.

Faith's sheer strength and speed is astounding. She leaps over rooftops and takes down blues, 'cops', with little effort on her part to disarm them. Not only that, but Faith fears little, and is willing to get involved in uncovering a large conspiracy to save her framed sister, Kate. She is undeniably loyal. Nothing shakes her faith in her own abilities.

Between her incredible feats of strength and her firm morals, I can have the utmost faith in Faith.

9: Princess Garnet from Final Fantasy 9



In my opinion, Garnet is a princess done right. She's not merely a damsel in distress, but a growing and fluctuating character who goes from needing help to becoming a strong summoner and white mage over the course of the game. Not only that, but taking over as Queen of her kingdom, a feat that most princess characters, like Peach for one, don't ever tend to do. Then she prepares to protect her kingdom.

That being said, Garnet can be naive and too trusting, relying on her mother until the point that the Queen is actually willing to kill her, but does eventually learn and starts to become more cautious. What's great about Garnet is not that she's a perfect character, she's certainly not, but that she's able to learn and grow.

8: Rouge the Bat from Sonic the Hedgehog



Out of all of the female characters in the Sonic line up, which would be quite a long line including the current roster, Rouge is the one whose always stuck with me. While she is primarily a thief, she also works as a GUN agent and does her job relatively well, using her mix of stealth and acrobatics. Rouge is also a skilled fighter and has been able to hold herself against Knuckles, using her strong legs and wings to get a clear advantage.

This is a clear contrast with most of the other female characters, like Cream, whose frequently a damsel and distress, and Amy... Whose also usually a damsel in distress. Rouge wasn't made just to be saved and stands quite well when fighting for what she needs, or wants.

Confident, clever, and not afraid to stand up against anything coming after her as long as there's a big enough jewel waiting for her if she succeeds; Rouge is a strong and independent heroine (when she wants to be).

7: Shantae from Shantae



Shantae's spunk is only outdone by her magical skills as a genie. She can belly dance to transform, whip her hair to take down enemies, and keeps her home safe from any outside threats. What makes Shantae even more impressive is that for a period of time she did lose her magical abilities and was still able to make due with a variety of found weapons belonging to Risky Boots, her enemy who she was stuck in a truce with.

Perhaps she is a little unexperienced, Shantae is still relatively young compared to some of the other females on this list, but she still throws herself in head first and pulls out pretty well. You don't want this girl shaking her fist at you, but you will certainly want her protecting your town.

6: Samus from Metroid



Before anyone asks, Samus is lower on the list because I know she's on a ton of other lists. Still, what Samus accomplished, becoming one of the first female characters to take storm over the others, is quite a feat in and of itself... There's not really anything I can say other than that. Everything's already been said hundreds of times about Samus.

5: Marina from Mischief Makers



Marina is basically an intergalactic maid who takes care of an accident prone professor, but on a more descriptive note she is much more. She's strong, determined, and has a moral compass that always points towards good. Marina's sheer strength and ability to 'shake' things are quite impressive. She works with her cyborg body like a pro and fights creatures double her size.

Not to mention she does truly care for her professor who, in an ironic twist, gets kidnapped so much that it could rival some damsels in distress. She is willing to drop everything and throw herself fully into danger to save him. Her selflessness is certainly remarkable and her reward at the end is to become human, which depending on your inputted age will be either a girl or a woman.

Plus, Marina's one of the only girls I've seen knock around a guy when he gets too handsy.

4: Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie



Kazooie's got a sharp beak and isn't afraid to use it in more ways than one. Even though Banjo's 'sidekick', her use is shown through exactly how many of Banjo's attacks rely fully on Kazooie. In fact, it seems relatively possible that Kazooie could have done most of the quest on her own. But Banjo and her make a better team and balance each other out well.

Does that affect how good of a character she is? Not at all. She can hold her own fine. It's good to have a friend like Banjo too, as Kazooie's sharp tongue doesn't make her many friends. Then again, she doesn't need to be popular to be happy; she just needs a proper adventure and some baddies to beat. Or maybe a witch head to bat around in a friendly game.

3: Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite



There's no surprise why Elizabeth is here. She is on many top female characters lists, but I think it's worth putting her on it again. Elizabeth is certainly intelligent and, in the beginning of the game, is much more naive than towards the end of the game when she firms up. Through the course of the game she endears hardships and harsh realizations, becoming stronger along the way.

Not to mention her ability to open reality tears; literally tearing reality apart with her hands. This, as well, starts to become more powerful over the game until the point at the end of the game where she can see every reality, or all of the 'doors'. In a way she becomes omnipotent.

...However, I have a small bit of a confession. Personally I like Elizabeth's personality before all of the corruption sinks in; when she is smiles and wonder about her new world. That's the tragedy about her character; there's no going back to that girl she was before when she left the tower. She will always be tainted by what she saw and now sees her world for what it is. The look of someone's dreams shattered.

Elizabeth is both the cage and the bird, flying free and returning trapped again, over and over... On another note, I may be the only person who likes the cage cameo better.

2: Midna from Legend of Zelda


Midna is a perfect example of a side character done right. In a single game the Twilight Princess took storm as one of the first characters, apart from the main three (Link, Zelda, Ganondorf) to really take the stage and make it her own. Midna starts out with her own goals in mind, making an almost one-sided deal to help Link if he helps her, not thinking much of the world of light.

Yet as the story progresses, as she gets closer to Link, she starts to realize her selfish behavior and even reveals how she's been usurped from her throne. Zelda's sacrifice confirms her decision and she rises to stop Zant and Ganondorf by Link's side. Not only does this give Midna fleshed out character development not usually found in a Legend of Zelda game.

Her power alone is obvious early on and only grows with the fused shadow. From a simply sphere of energy that can shatter chains, to killing one of the main antagonists by impaling him with her hair, and finally becoming a larger, more powerful form to break into the barrier surrounding Hyrule Castle. Everything Midna does feels strong while feeling like she could always do more, even when severely injured by Zant midway through the game.

Even though her character was watered down in Hyrule Warriors, to make way for the excessive attention on Lana and a weird focus on shoving Link and Zelda together as a couple, she still pulls out a cool moment when she sucker punches the villain with her hair. Regardless of being a lesser character, Midna still manages to stand out, and that shows something amazing for her.

1: Alice from American Mcgee's Alice and Madness Returns



For years I admired Alice Liddell. She was one of the first female characters who I looked at and could honestly say that she was badass. After losing her parents and sister in a fire, Alice went insane and somehow survived years in a mental hospital before snapping alert inside of Wonderland to take her mind back. Of course there's hiccups along the way, deaths and tears, but Alice still keeps going and pushes herself further, saving herself. Then, after leaving the asylum, must save her mind again from a new threat that may be something there all along.

Alice is strong willed, snarky, and sharp-witted, not to mention especially skilled with a Vorpal Blade. She has a slew of other weapons as well from both games; the Croquet Mallet, the Pepper Grinder, and many more. Normal monsters and baddies don't make her bat an eye, not second guessing herself until stuck in an actual bind, and even then she still manages to push through.

Eventually she rises to claim her Wonderland and becomes at ease with both worlds, for the moment, and finally free of her Survivor's Guilt for being the only one who survived the fire that killed her family. Finally she manages to move on.

Alice is not damaged; she's gone through hell and back but still pulls through with her mind intact enough to know what she needs to do. Whether in the gloomy city of London or the seemingly bright world of Wonderland, she rights herself and continues to fight on. It is quite an impressive feat and while balancing on the edge of insanity at any moment, she continues to survive.

There was no way I couldn't put Alice at the top of my list. She is an impressive heroine who manages to smite the one villain who gave her a run for her money; herself. As of the last appearance of Alice, seeming in the Otherland shorts, Alice is still moving on with her head high and nothing standing in her way.

Thank you for reading! Please click a few ads and stay close by for my 'Top 10 video game Heroines I can't stand'. Title may change. 

Cringeworthy Characters: Dodie from As Told By Ginger

As Told by Ginger was a cartoon airing on Nick that dealt with the life and times of Ginger Foutley, a preteen-teen girl who deals with middle school drama, high school drama, and her home life. I personally liked the show for a while, though I think the animation is pretty rough and I think some of the later seasons make all of the characters basically unlikable. However, there is one that stands out above all, a widely hated character from most people who watch it. Seriously, look at the comment section of any Dodie-centric episode. There is a lot of hate.

Unfortunately it is much deserved hate as well. Dodie Bishop may be a realistic character with her faults, but she's still frustrating and aggressive. I'm going to do a bit different of an approach to this one than before. Instead of reviewing two episodes alone, I'm going to review two of her worst episodes and then list a line of everything else that she's done, because it's simply an awful excuse for a friend. First, let's start with the list of mini things.

In the episode 'Cry Wolf', the main problem of the episode, being Miranda blackmailing Ginger, is brought on by Dodie's gossip about her friend.
In 'Season of Caprice', Dodie becomes overbearing on her friends in an attempt to impress the counselors.
In 'Lunatic Lake', Dodie blames Carl for ruining their trip when it was actually her mother. It's one of the few times that she's called out on her behavior.
In 'Love with a Proper Transfer Student', Dodie becomes jealous and angry at Ginger because of her getting close to her crush in the play, not even aware that Ginger does have a crush on him.
In 'Next Question', Dodie coaxes Ginger into asking her teacher out, leading to an embarrassing moment. (Though Ginger made it much worse for herself.)
In 'Wicked Game', Dodie and Macie attempt to break Ginger and Darren up through dirty means. The only reason I didn't use this episode is because I may review it at another time.
In 'Heat Lightning', Dodie throws a fit when Ginger goes to Courtney for advice.
In 'Fair to Cloudy' Dodie fights with Ginger about bringing Darren with them to the Fair and invites Courtney along to spite her. (It's worth noting that Darren was always the fourth in their group of friends so the jealousy is slightly confused.)
In 'Kiss Today Goodbye' Dodie knows Darren is with another girl and decides not to tell Ginger and instead tells Darren to do so. (Though arguably it was Darren's place to say, she could've at least not waited as long.)

Now we go onto the two episodes to really look at her cringeworthiness; 'Of Lice and Friends' and 'Dodie's Big Break'. These episodes are also good as they take place in what I would consider the two periods, middle school and high school, as most personalities changed a bit once in high school.

'Of Lice and Friends' begins with an assembly where Dodie is chosen to make the morning announcements. The position almost immediately goes to her head when she's noticed by popular girl Courtney. Later she's shown to already get too invested with her position, upset that the announcements aren't that exciting and getting the go-ahead to spice them up. She adds in some gossip along the way, which catches the interest of the kids and gains her fans.

Dodie starts taking more gossip even when Ginger suggests that she stops. It starts to increase right around the time when it is revealed that there is a lice outbreak. Soon Dodie reveals over the intercom that Ginger's mother is going to be the 'lice lady'. I'm not sure why this is so embarrassing, but it is clearly frustrating to Ginger who calls her out. Dodie considers it a hot story and is unapologetic, even becoming upset at Ginger. By the next day the two are no longer speaking.

Ginger complains to Macie that she can't trust Dodie. (Yet later forgives her as usual, spoiler alert.) Courtney is revealed to have lice. The next day, I guess, Dodie asks the janitor about notes and talks about how important it is that she has something good to say, because everyone 'hangs on her word'. Peeking around in the office she manages to find the lice report and sees it as a way to make herself more popular. So during the morning announcements she begins listing students with lice.

Spurred on by Courtney, Ginger rushes to the office and unplugs Dodie, stopping her from saying Courtney's name but not stopping her from humiliating the other kids. They get in a brief fight and Ginger storms out. Later Lois, Ginger's mother tells Ginger to make up with Dodie. On the phone they both apologize for their behavior and the episode ends.

Let's talk about how awful the moral at the end is; Ginger apologizes with Dodie about what happened. Ginger shouldn't apologize because nothing she did was out of line, when Dodie recieved no comeuppance for her selfish, cruel, and even negligent behavior. She even is confirmed to keep doing the announcements from her own words. There is absolutely no reason that Dodie shouldn't give a full and honest apology instead of a 'me too' one.

So as you see so far, Dodie is a popular obsessed girl whose willing to stab anyone in the back if she thinks it'll make her popular. She's also diluted; thinking that she'll get popular for rattling out gossip. As far as I'm concerned she left some of the popular girls impressed, but I never saw them inviting her to patrol the school with them. It's to the point that she walks on Ginger and Macie, but then neither girl ever dreams of cutting ties.

Now Dodie's Big Break.

It begins with Ginger looking and feeling awful when coming back to school. Apparently she's already back to school after what was a clearly rough surgery. Dodie appears in a mascot outfit and reveals she's, surprise, the school mascot. The next day Ginger and Macie watch Dodie's display with the pep squad, even though she's in pain and bitter about her recent failed relationship.

Dodie dances too close to the cheerleaders' pyramid routine and they fall on her. The next day Ginger and Macie are worried as they haven't heard from her, mind you that they are her best friends, and find out that she is now both wheelchair bound and a member of the cheerleading squad. At this point Dodie start to be constantly cared for by the cheerleaders and continues ignoring Dodie and Macie. They're even sent away by the cheerleaders when they try to approach.

Finally they confront her at her house only to spot her faking her injuries. Ginger calls out Dodie on her actions and Dodie challenges her, saying that nobody will believe her. As expected, Dodie keeps faking her injuries, and any attempt to have her trip herself up fails. Finally they trap her in the bathroom and knock her out of the wheelchair. Dodie cries and throws a big tantrum, then basically brags about being a mascot, and eventually Ginger comforts Dodie, regardless of her previous behavior.

The episode continues to drag along as the coach refuses to keep her as the mascot and Dodie cries again, which means we're supposed to feel sorry for her. Ginger even insists that Dodie should be forgiven and confronts the coach, cornering her until Dodie gets an audition, which she botches. Regardless the coach gives her the mascot job back and promises that she can try out the next year.

Both of these episodes show the same thing; Dodie being selfish, not caring about her friends, obsessed with herself, and regardless of what she does always is forgiven by the end. All this episode says is that no matter what is done to you, if you're a good friend you're forced to forgive them. Again Dodie gets no comeuppance at all under the accusation of the coach's bias.

Regardless if the coach is biased or not, what Dodie did was basically blackmail. They try to act like she didn't realize they let her join the cheerleaders because she is injured, but if that was the case why would she continue the act with no intention to stop? Not to mention that her behavior towards her friends it both negligent and aggressive, and any smart person would drop the friendship.

What's even worse is that this is what all Dodie-centric episodes tend to be. Whenever she does anything wrong she's immediately forgiven. One big example is when she and Macie try to break Ginger and Darren up. I wasn't planning on mentioning it, but it's worth bringing up. What they did was so manipulative and backstabbing that Ginger should've no longer been their friend, but instead the episode ended on a cliffhanger and by the next episode they were friends again.

What really happened? Well, they knew that there would have to be emotions present, so they just pretended it never happened. Apparently it's brought up later in a throw away line, but it doesn't matter. Dodie repeatedly does spiteful and aggressive things to two girls she's known since elementary school, and she never really faces consequences for it. What a witch... Or a bitch.

Dodie: A.K.A. Podie Dipshot
Occupation: Leeching off her friends and clawing for popularity.
Hobbies: Back stabbing, being bitter, and treading on her friends.
Lives in her own fantasy world, which is completely focused on herself.
Current state: Closed for business.

Reviewing Facebook Games: (Cooking Mama, Dessert Shop, Panic Room, Diner Dash)

More Facebook games to review. So many Facebook games, not enough time.

Cooking Mama: Let's Cook! (a handful of recipes)

I have played Cooking Mama before so I am familiar with the game and, on the whole, this game holds the standards of the others games. The movements work on the laptop as well as they did on game systems, or they feel like they do. The meals are still broken into mini-game-like steps that are easy to understand.

However, there's one fatal flaw. Instead of a heart system like most games, where you have to recharge your energy, Cooking Mama only has four recipes. From what I know you can unlock more recipes by playing for seven days in a row. You may be able to get some by completing Papa's Challenges, but most of the time his rewards are practically worthless decorating items.

This basically makes the game become a chore. Play one day then come back in every day just to register that you were there so that you don't have to make yet another steak. I mean, you can combine recipes in amusing ways, but it doesn't make up for the repetition. Three days of challenges giving pointless items make me weary of Cooking Mama.

To clarify again; the cooking gameplay is fine, but the small selection of recipes, the challenges that repeat recipes constantly, and the pitiful rewards are what brings the game down.

It's fun at first, but quickly becomes a chore. Ironically a decent metaphor for cooking itself.

Update: Made it to the end of the week and got a recipe, completed it in a few minutes and combined it with another recipe for fun. Now out of things to do for the next week.

Dessert Shop: Cafeland's Strange Sibling

I mentioned that there wasn't really anything to do in Cafeland. Dessert Shop fixes that problem, but in the process creates a few of its own. You basically run a dessert based shop instead of a cafe, but all this means is a limited selection of menu items, which at first doesn't seem too bad until you find yourself stuck clicking all over the screen. Click this, click that, click this again and then click that to create X to put into oven with Y to make the other.

There's a reason the dining room is so small and the rest of the restaurant is extremely spacious as you unlock it. The goal isn't serving customers, it's clicking a few things to unlock something, to click something else, to wait, to be able to have something on a display counter for when customers who pass in get hungry. There's still the lingering problem like Cafeland where the food will sit for too long. Missions will ask you to make other foods, but the first ones will still sit there as customers slowly appear and vanish. This becomes more of a problem when you serve more than one meal.

Even though there's more stuff to click, Dessert Shop is only slightly improved over Cafeland. Yet it doesn't feel any more fun. I played it for a few days and noticed that I could stick with it a little better than Cafeland, but soon afterwards lost all interest into continuing.

Panic Room: Don't panic, just play.

By which I mean, Panic Room is actually a pretty good game. It's a hidden object game where you complete quests and find items to get through missions and through the story. The storyline would be that the Puppet Master has kidnapped you and taken you into his mansion where you have to play his game with a group of others to escape. Along the way you can collect items to help you, like medicine or food to heal you and give your more energy.

Whenever you open a door, or play a level, it injures your hands and causes you to bleed energy out. This is what limits your energy and it, like the other games, refuels over time. The fact that they explain why you are losing energy is a small detail that I think goes a long way. At least it's a bit more of a story to add onto it.

The scenes of the mansion are nice to look at and put you in the 'dark mansion' sort of mood. The music and sound effects are also quite nice There's also the risk of traps, though I haven't seen them. I'm guessing that they are activated when you click the wrong thing, but I'm not fully certain. At least it sets the mood, but it doesn't give a sense of actual danger.

After playing a couple of other hidden object games on Facebook, I can say that it is the story and tone that makes it stand out a bit more. It's nothing like the hidden object games you'll find on Big Fish Games but it is a nice one to play without having to pay, especially since it advertised that they frequently add more missions to the game with updates.

I recommend a play and I think I'll probably have fun with this game for quite a while longer!

Diner Dash: Dumpster Dash

Diner Dash is one of my favorite games, but this version is a cash grab if there ever was one. The game's difficulty spikes very soon in and becomes generally unplayable. You're rushed with customers who lose hearts relatively quickly. The customers at the table are much, much worse; they will go from three hearts to one in a matter of seconds just because I delivered someone else's food before their's.

The last level I completed, with the celebrity, was practically impossible to complete. Even if you get everyone out of the restaurant, the command to 'click paparazzi away' never worked.They came in immediately, fidget when clicked and then whisk her away. Of course I had to get a perfect score with her to continue. At the sacrifice of five other customers I managed to spam click for my life and succeed.

It doesn't help that Flo is impossible to control. Most of the time she barely moves and I've had her completely ignore commands. I'll send her repeatedly to put a ticket away and yet she'll still be carrying it with her after numerous goes. When she lags the rest of the game does not; I'll lose a wave of customers solely because Flo is too busy stuck in a loop. I also hate that I managed to randomly get an automatic mop that cleans spills yet Flo still stops on them and cleans when in the vicinity. She takes a bit too long cleaning as well.

Also, the spills are a nightmare. I remember when a family would make a spill in the other games and I'd be annoyed because I had to grab a mop. In this game I had one coffee addict create five spills at one time, and naturally Flo's walk path to the ticket taker got a hair too close to two of the spills and cleaned both. In this time both Barb tables went down a heart. It's not like you can give them coffee either when you have to shell out so much to the constant Shakers.

There are two currencies; the coins that you get from playing and the bucks that you sometimes get but usually have to buy. Almost all of the needed upgrades that will help you have any form of fun need bucks. Almost all of the decor options too, and the few ones that don't take a lot of coins. Needed upgrades like the coffee machine can be unlocked, and bought with gold coins, through the levels, but the difficulty, again, will stunt you. When you can't even unlock proper decor items to raise patience you know there's a problem.

The game also constantly logs you out. Sometimes it takes three minutes, but sometimes I'll go to use the bathroom, not even take three minutes, come back, and then I'm logged out. This game also has awful servers, and I've never had a game's loading bar decrease, then increase, and then decrease again. This happens every time it sneaks and 'logs me out'. A true hassle. It constantly spams messages that say either 'my browser is slow' or 'our servers our full'. Game, figure it out. Is it my fault or yours?

Dragging customers never works; sometimes it takes two or three tries to grab a customer, sometimes they get stuck on the wrong colored table and you get stuck seating them. I already mentioned the customers always dropping hearts rapidly. Turning on the jukebox helps, but dishing out menus is just a hassle and a waste of time, especially when the people at the tables are so aggressive.

Then there's the energy. Oh boy, this is a big issue. You lose energy with each level, like most games work. To compare to other games; Suburbia has 15 points of energy and you use one per most actions, though some don't require any, and a point restores every five minutes. Panic Room usually has 120, uses 15-25 depending on room, restores every three minutes, and can be restored quicker with food that you can get as rewards occasionally. Then there's Diner Dash... Diner Dash has three energy points, three alone, and takes a whopping thirty minutes to restore. I couldn't even fathom this!

I mean, consider this; Panic Room takes a while to refresh fully as well, but I can play quite a few more scenes. I feel like I'm doing more in Panic Room, especially when there's a chance that the Diner Dash game will glitch out and cheat me into losing, or log me out if I have to pause for even a split second.

You're probably wondering if there's a reason I'm having all of these problems. There is; I'm not paying. All of the good, almost needed, upgrades are behind a thick paywall. All of the bonuses, the powerups, the decor, all of it is asking for money, and that is completely out of the question. I won't put money into a game that already has so many issues in it; that's insane.

While I do enjoy the other Diner Dash games, this was just a mess, and I would be fine with never playing it again.

Until next time! Speaking of money related matters, feel free to randomly click on some adds around my post if you want to. Don't worry, it's not required to do to read any of my posts!

Cringeworthy Characters: Taffy, from Rugrats

I stopped watching Rugrats back when I was about six or seven. Before that point it was a regular cartoon that I had watching quite often, but I had lost a bit of interest in it that late into the show. Mostly anything after the second Rugrats movie. You'd think it would be from the addition of Kimi to the show, but I actually didn't mind her. I think I was just getting out of it.

During the last episodes I watched they introduced a new character to the cast, a teenage girl named Taffy. At the time I remember that I was confused at why she got so much screentime and was turned off. Recently I became curious and watched her introduction episode 'Happy Taffy'. Mostly out of some sort of sadistic reveling perhaps. 

Unlike the norm, when I look back at something and realize it wasn't that bad, Taffy was a lot worse once I re-watched the episode featuring her. 

Happy Taffy starts with Didi and Stu looking for a babysitter. When they can't find one, Grandpa and Lulu suggest that they hire her niece Taffy to babysit. They go listen to her at the bowling alley before she agrees to babysit, even when Didi is reluctant. The adults finally decide to test her by having her take the kids to the park. She also needs to practice singing for a gig her band got. Unfortunately, this spurs Angelica to keep singing horribly, and Taffy sings a song she suddenly makes on the spot, which is honestly pretty bad. 

Finally they get to the park and she loses Angelica while the babies play in the sand. The adults are meanwhile watching from the bushes. Taffy tries to make another song and the babies mistake her for being sad and try to cheer her with 'toys'. So they bring her trash, which she doesn't notice, and it inspires her to make a different song. The babies then play with the trash and the adults creepily stalk the scene instead of watching from a safe distance. It isn't as though she'll notice.

There's a Godfather parody, which isn't the first Godfather parody on Rugrats. They bring her ice, she sings again, and Stu takes the scene as Taffy doing something other than just sitting there. Angelica returns and sings until Dil throws a rattle at her. She yells at Dil, Taffy encourages the behavior, and then when Angelica continues Taffy stops and sends her away. After this Taffy does the first babysitter thing she's done this entire time and gives the babies juice boxes, then goes back to making another song.

When an old lady passes by the babies realize that they're cute... Or, well, they used to be. They come over and dance for her, Angelica too. When the adults see it they are relieved and Taffy is happy because her new song could be a 'hit'. She then walks off playing and the adults approach to announce her as the permanent babysitter. The babies are happy, Angelica keeps singing, Taffy is happy, and all is well.

...So where do I start? Firstly, Taffy screams of 'Cousin Oliver' syndrome, though without the breaking or ruining things. She's clearly being brought in to be 'cool with the hip kids'. What with her band and her guitar, and the fact that she's a teenage character period being brought into a show focusing on toddlers. The adults even refer to her as 'Teeny Rocker'. Rocker? Now that is a stretch. It's incredibly grating that they hammer it in so much. 

Especially with he slew of 'slang' words that I don't ever remember being popular; such as her calling the babies 'Minis' and her cry of 'Excel-licious!' It just feels a little too forced, especially considering that she doesn't do anything but sit around. She doesn't do anything for the babies or really for the adults, so it's not readily obvious why the show acts as though she is a great choice as a babysitter. We're supposed to like her singing and rocking (lacking) personality and forget her complete lack of actually being a babysitter. 

Also, I can't help but cringe whenever she sings. She actually doesn't sound good, regardless of how good she's supposed to be considering that she constantly gets jobs, and all of the lyrics in the episode are bad. I think that was the point, but 'Mini Shake', the last song in the episode, is just as poor as all of the other attempts. If Angelica's singing was a meta joke about the viewers feeling towards Taffy then well done, but I doubt it.

There's also a ton of Mary Sue traits hovering around her being. Not enough to stick her through the actual test. The entire music thing is clearly just leaking of trying to be cool, especially since she's: gifted with music, plays a guitar well, has a great singing voice, has a successful band, and creates (apparently) popular songs in only a matter of minutes. She's also practically loved by everyone as soon as she appears; the babies don't even care that their Grandpa is being replaced by some strange girl who doesn't do anything. 

Worst of all, the entire episode is basically about her. Instead of: the babies meet their new babysitter and learn how to adjust. The episode is: Taffy tries to write a song for her gig. The babies think she's sad and try to cheer her. Basically the babies are the main characters and yet don't do anything in the episode other than fetch items. 

So maybe it was a bad first episode. I decided to watch a second Taffy related episode to see if it was just a bad first impression. The second episode I watched was 'Who's Tammy?'

The episode starts with Didi and Stu getting ready. The babies cheer that Taffy is going to be coming to babysit and she appears. Tammy comes in depressed and the babies notice. Taffy sadly laments to Stu that her band might be breaking up. The other two members being named Tammy and Tabby- What? He sympathizes with her before getting his socks on to leave with Didi. 

Taffy sits on the couch and the babies notice she's upset. They leave the playpen and Kimi mentions that she might sing a song 'like she always does'... One of these writers was aware of the issue. Yet Taffy shocking decides not to. I also notice she now has a different guitar. The babies are worried and Angelica appears, still doing the guitar thing. They think she stole 'Taffy' from 'Taffy'. This is, remarkably, pretty slow for even the babies to assume. 

Taffy is flattered by Angelica dressing like her and even gives her a hair clip. This begs the question why she's been baically ignoring the babies until this point, as she's not depressed enough to keep from encouraging Angelica. Angelica agrees to be nice, and is nice to the babies which encourages their fear. They believe it's the hair clip and decide to get it back. Chuckie suggests they keep Angelica nice, which the others ignore even though it makes more logical sense. 

After a long feud they get it back and to Taffy, but they hear her yelling on the phone about not playing with 'dumb babies'. It's weird that she didn't use something more slang-filled or at least less childish. The babies cry, Angelica does stuff, and Taffy still isn't watching them. The babies decide to make Angelica mean again to reverse Taffy, who still is complaining on the phone. Angelica goes to give cookies to the babies, really intending to eat them herself.

The babies start asking a lot of questions and try to annoy her to death. Right as Angelica is about to slip, Taffy, who has a fish for some reason, gives her a look and she recovers the 'nice' persona. They then hide her little instrument and she searches until Tammy appears and she begs her to sing. Instead, Taffy has Angelica sing as she dances with the babies, having made up with her band.

So what can we now clarify about Taffy? Firstly, she's an awful babysitter. She spends most of her time ignoring the babies and instead either cooking or yelling on the phone. Her cooking dirties the kitchen and her sandwich dirties the floor. She calls Angelica out on her behavior, but won't even watch the kids for two seconds so it doesn't matter anyway.

This biggest problem is that whenever Taffy is in an episode she is the main focus of the episode. The babies always want to help her, she usually has troubles that the babies solve, everyone likes her (even Angelica), and the episode seems to cut away to her thoughts and comments as frequently as it can. This was the last season and why I don't think Taffy made it end I don't think it helped at all. With Dil and Kimi they both became parts of the show without changing the formula, but Taffy seems to clearly change things in a bothersome way.

Maybe I'm being too critical, but I know why the new character addition turned me away as a child, and this is why I consider Taffy a cringeworthy character.

Taffy: A.K.A. Teeny Rocker
Occupation: Another successful musician teenager in a band, she's even the lead.
Hobbies: Yelling on the phone, playing the guitar, writing poor songs, and ignoring 'minis'.
Native Language is 'Cool' gibberish.
Current state: Closed for business.