Rocknaldo: Steven Universe Review

Look, if this wasn't such a scenario then I wouldn't review this. I have decided to stop reviewing Steven Universe episodes and the reason is... Well, I'll go into it at the end of this review. For now, the basic idea is that the episode was such a display that I had to review it.

I know this episode is getting a lot of negative reactions and I can see why. Though I'm not passionate enough to have an instant hate and will try to use this to my advantage here. Instead, I will begin by saying that the writers of Steven Universe have had long enough to spot and fix a problem, but instead decided to capitalize on it in the worst of ways.

So the episode is basically... The most disliked character in SU acts even worse than usual, to the point that I feel like this is out of character for him, and the episode makes bland meta jokes that don't make up for the obvious annoyance that they portray. The episode tries to be witty, but instead manages to show why this season has felt so empty.

The Plot:

The episode begins with Ronaldo spreading material about the Crystal Gems, or Rock People, that he believes about. Steven points out that it's wrong and is clearly offended, but explains that he's uninformed. Ronaldo has an overdramatic display of apology... That feels extremely fake for someone whose been able to show emotions in the past.

Back at the Temple, the Crystal Gems talk dismissively about Ronaldo's internet pity-party, which ends with them finding out that he wants to join the Crystal Gems. The Gems don't agree, but Steven talks them into letting him stay. (This whole thing is obviously a reference to people who want Connie, Lapis, and other characters to become Crystal Gems.)

Steven then talks to Ronaldo, who mentions his Gemsona, Bloodstone, and then shows his sword... So, let's address the elephant in the room now. Yes, Cartoon Network teased about a new gem and it turned out to be Ronaldo. The trick was clearly see-through. The only thing annoying about this is that, alas, the show recognizes that the episode is annoying and plays into it like it is funny. While, again, I don't hate this episode, I know plenty of people are already bitter towards it.

Because the irony is this; making fun of your fans by making a character an awful mess doesn't always equal laughs. It was funny when Peridot made ships because, as goofy as she acted, she was still a lovable character. It's not funny when Ronaldo make an OC, but this is strictly because of what happens after this point in the episode.

The moment when Steven and Ronaldo play around with him being a gem is actually sweet for a short moment, but it turns sour quick.

The Crystal Gems have a mission- don't worry, they don't show it or explain anything about it- and leave Ronaldo behind. Ronaldo is upset, somewhat understandable, but almost immediately starts acting like a jerk. He begins to be bitter towards Steven and tells him to show off his gem. Steven does, uncomfortably.

That night, Ronaldo explains that he's no longer sleeping and keeps Steven awake. He tells Steven that, as a gem, he should stay awake all night. He's again being bitter, or maybe self-centered, it's hard to tell the difference. The next day, Ronaldo asks about Connie and doesn't understand why she gets treated better than him.

Steven calls him out as not being a Crystal Gem, Ronaldo calls Steven out for not being loving and understanding, Steven leaves but realizes he wasn't in the wrong and returns to a delirious Ronaldo. He yells at him and Ronaldo passes out. They drop him outside, poke jokes at him, and then the three headed Crystal Gem unit leaves.

Some time later, Steven finds Ronaldo staring out at the ocean. He's being angsty and starts to apologize, but it then sort of turns into a self-praise session instead of an actual apology. Then for the last few seconds of the episode he asks Steven about his name, briefly acting like a normal person, and the episode ends.

The Review:

...So the flaws are obvious; the writers decided that, instead of fixing Ronaldo's character, they were going to embrace it and make him act like the worst person ever. It's not even funny and the episode doesn't seem willing to make jokes that are actually funny. Then few of them that were identifiable were pretty weak.

I don't remember Ronaldo being such a jerk in the earlier episodes. Yes, he was unhinged in his first appearance, but in the second one he was, at least, a little nicer. This time, they tried their hardest to make him completely unlikable. They don't make Ronaldo a more fleshed out character, they don't build on him at all, and they (maybe) write off his behavior from sleep deprivation.

That still, Ronaldo continuously acts like a jerk to Steven. He treats Steven more aggressively than Lars does, and his change from 'happy' to 'jealous' is almost immediate. Maybe Ronaldo can't understand how he would need to train before his mission, but I'm not sure that I believe he, as Steven's friend, would become so aggressive so quickly.

Also, the Crystal Gems are doing there 'nothing to do/hive mind' thing again. All three appear at the same time, make comments, and leave until later. They feel shoehorned in since them being there and their dialogue is mostly pointless. They are there because they have to be there, and that's all they do.

Steven's... Okay. He's just Steven. He gets upset, he gets concerned, he gets annoyed, and he's supportive. He does what he usually does... Though the episode doesn't give him much to do. Steven just seems like the designated 'victim' of the episode.

Like The New Crystal Gems, which I didn't review, this episode has an uncomfortably mean-spirited tone with even less of an outcome. Though I think that one left a more bitter taste in my mouth. This one... Sort of just disappointed me. I cared enough about this one to rewatch and make this review, so that's something.

I'd like to clarify that I don't dislike this episode because it isn't a plot-centric episode. I dislike it because it's actually filler (no character building of any real kind) and it's not even fun or amusing. It's just so hard to watch because you can see where they're trying to be meta, but just can't achieve anything better than a reference.

How I would make it better:

This is actually very basic as this plotline is not a new one. Here's my ideas.

Ronaldo wants to join the Gems, Steven talks for him, he joins. Then, instead of being a jerk, Ronaldo is annoying in understandable ways and generally unfit for the job. Such as him getting overexcited, putting his stuff everywhere, constantly swinging his sword around; doing stuff that the Gems would get annoyed at but the audience could understand. Then they give Ronaldo a basic mission, or errand really, and Ronaldo fails.

Steven finally has to tell Ronaldo that he is unfit for the job. Either one or two options occur:

1: Ronaldo is distraught and falls into depression, Steven feels guilty, but weeks later Ronaldo appears again and apologizes. He realizes that he wasn't really professional and decides that he wants to 'earn' a place at the Crystal Gems. For now, he will continue to spread information that they approve, and he hopes someday to be a part of the group.

2: Ronaldo gets angry and calls out Steven's lack of compassion, Steven calls him back out on his behavior, and Ronaldo decides to 'prove' he's fit for the job. Maybe by successfully completing the errand. Though in this process he realizes that he was goofing around and he and Steven mend their relationship. Ronaldo decides to take the job as 'Crystal Gem' more seriously and moves back home so that he can continue studying and training out of the way.

Either of these would both allow Ronaldo to grow, make Steven realize the difference between friends and partners, and would give a more hopeful end to the episode. Instead... Ronaldo is a jerk who nobody respects and the episode just stops in the same place it started.

Or, also still, have the entire episode the same, but then when Steven calls out Ronaldo, have Ronaldo realize his mistake and actually apologize. It wouldn't fix the lack of jokes, or give the episode a real point, but at least I would feel a little better once the episode was over. That's something.

Final Thoughts:

While Ronaldo has a slew of poor episodes, Rocknaldo goes above and beyond to make Ronaldo even more unlikable. It doesn't manage to bring around any good or even new jokes, and is unable to do anything more than make a few basic references. The moral of the episode is shot and, while shows don't have to have morals, this one suffers from a lack of direction.

It's another example of using Steven as a sympathy card on us. After last week, it's hard to efficiently feel bad for Steven over something so little. Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst are only there because they have to be and don't really do anything except for the standard. Again, Ronaldo's character declines even further.

If there's any sort of reference in here towards foreshadowing... Then it's hard to care for it. The only thing close was mind controlling water, and something about that premise sounds just a little... Okay, I'll be blunt; I think mind control always falls into cheap plot developments. I'm not impressed. Though, again, it's hard to get excited about a show that has so many episodes like this.

Is Rocknaldo one of the worst episodes I've seen? Maybe, mostly because it has no payoff or legit use except character destruction. However, am I surprised to see it this season?... Not entirely. I sort of knew this was eventually coming. I may watch it again in the future, but only to poke fun of it and use it as an example of 'filler' in Steven Universe. Or, at least, a bad episodes.

Why I stopped reviewing Steven Universe:

SU is going down a path that I'm not interested in. The once fleshed out characters feel like they are reverting to 'just being there'. Or in Lapis and Peridot's cases, seem to become more unlikable every time I see them, rendering once interesting characters into broken joke machines.

Even Steven has gone from a genuinely nice and entertaining kid to constantly angsting. I get it, it's his age, but it's hard to watch a once bubbly but determined, fierce but caring, character devolve into one whose constantly lamenting about Rose. I don't just mean 'Storm in the Room' either. Remember that episode where the show averted tropes by having Steven be indifferent towards Rose, unable to cry for her, because he never got to know her?

Well, now he's constantly in a state of turmoil of the Rose. I know it's supposed to be character development, but he's not exactly developing. He's more 'stuck in the normal protagonist rut'. He's sharing an issue, a lament, and angst that tones of other protagonists share. I can't really help but feel less attached.

And now the worst has happened with plot-centric and slice-of-life episodes. Plot-centric episodes now drop hints, but don't exactly have a bang for their buck. Most of the time they are just present to suggest towards something more interesting that will eventually come to be.

Meanwhile, slice-of-life episodes no longer show much character development and interaction. This is because the show sometimes becomes afraid to break up the 'gem' unit.

Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst are always stuck together. Peridot and Lapis are always stuck together. So there's even fewer episodes where they break apart and bond with other people. How much better would 'The New Crystal Gems' have been if there were more humans and less Peridot and Lapis bickering. What if Lapis met Sadie and Lars? Would she actually be amused by Lars cynical nature? These could've been interesting interactions that the show is too scared to tell.

What if, in Rocknaldo, Ronaldo had private incidents with each of the gems that convinced him that he was not ready to join them? Instead of just annoying Steven, we see how each Gem would've reacted, felt, and how patient they would've been with him. Instead, they're stuck together.

What about Peridot and Ronaldo? These two have a lot of common interests, but how would they act if they were friends? What things would happen between them? Would they compete on the internet, or would they somehow be friendly with each other? We may never know this because, as it is, humans and gems barely interact unless Steven's playing a barrier between them.

On the whole, I've been getting more into Star vs. the Forces of Evil. While not as serious as Steven Universe, I find that I get a lot more entertainment out of it. More amusement, more obvious character transformations, and the plot is growing at a healthier rate. I can't wait until Season 3... Meanwhile, I almost missed last week's episode of SU.

What do I think would make the show better? More diverse character interactions, saving the cast from the character potholes they're stuck in, more fun episodes that don't need to rely on 'what's in', and more episodes of equal plot and slice-of-life. Like, why can't we get another Centipeedle episode? Or why can't the group talk about Jasper in an episode that doesn't involve her?

It's as though SU holds all of its aces close to its chest and deals them out spaciously, but recently has waited longer and longer in between these aces. I'm hoping maybe this season has just been a bore and it will eventually right itself, but as it is I find myself less interested in looking towards episodes. And, considering our last finale, I can't rightly say that I look forward to the finale either.

So that's all that I have to say here. I give Rocknaldo a rock out of Ronaldo; that should sum my feelings up exactly.

As for reviews... Meh, I don't know. I may eventually do more, but for now I find it hard to force myself to write an essay on a lackluster episode... Or a lackluster season.

Sun and Moon: Episode 3 and 4 Review

(Shockingly enough, Meowth's animated alright.)

Episode 3; and thus the animation slowly becomes more and more disgusting... Except this Meowth scene. This Meowth scene is actually good. I mean this:

(He basically does this for no reason. -.-)

But there are some (?) positives in this episode. First of all, Team Rocket has returned, which is a massive mixed bag. Jessie and James look hideous and seem to make bizarre gestures. Meowth, however, is apparently getting more of a character focus. I was actually pretty surprised, but Meowth's focus was definitely more obvious than Jessie or James.

I have a theory that this may be because of the Alolan Meowth. It may be possible that a character arc about Meowth may be planned, but it's much too early to tell. We also get to meet Mimikyu; an adorable ghost that the show seems to believe is creepy. He also hates Pikachu, which I originally thought was a mistranslation but seems to be the case.

I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing that Mimikyu it prepared to mop the floor with Pikachu, because I don't know what level it is at. Regardless, it is a relief to see Team Rocket get a competent Pokémon. Then there's Bewear... The pedo bear that isn't exactly interesting and eventually totes Jessie and James away.

Oh wow, that's a metaphor for Sun and Moon as a whole. The whole show would be better with just the Pokémon and not the humans. Meowth, Mimikyu, Wobuffet, and maybe Pikachu. They don't need any of these lame trainers holding them back.

(James and Jessie look really off... And poorly drawn. Again, notice Meowth looks animated better.)

And guess what? Ash just keeps getting worse. He's getting more stupid every minute, forgetting things that he should either know or basically understand, and he's pulling out even uglier faces with each passing minute. He is a train that has already derailed and now is skidding down a mountain, straight towards a fifty foot cliff. Pikachu is the imp that dislodged the train off the tracks.

All of Ash's classmates, or friends, are even more cumbersome than before. All of them were in this episode and none of them did anything. Only some had lines, none offered to help fight off Team Rocket (even considering the fight with Team Skull), and were wastes of animation. Each was shocked in unison, each smiled in unison. They were completely unneeded.

(My exact reaction during most of this.)

As interesting as the Rotom Dex concept is, and as inoffensive as the Dex is, they spend way too much time introducing it, introducing it to others, and explaining it to the audience. Just because Ash can't understand basic logic doesn't mean we can't. It's not like a whole new batch of viewers are watching this; it's the same people who watched X and Y. Also, there's a scene where Rotom is electrocuted and-... Isn't Rotom an electric type? I thought he'd be pretty fine with it. Inconsistent.

The more I think about it, the more that the thirty minutes felt like a lot of wasted fluff. Nothing happened, except Mimikyu, and we only came out with Team Rocket catching a Pokémon... Sort of.

(One last picture to show, again, Meowth's better animation.)

Episode 4 begins in the same fashion. Pikachu loses a battle to a much weaker Pokémon (he get hit-like-once), Lillie has another unfunny 'scared of Pokemon' scene, Team Rocket does some stuff, and so far I am absolutely not impressed. I expected another pathetic episode.

However, halfway through episode 4 actually irons out some of its problems and pulls around. The actual premise of the episode is that a Rowlet, who lives with the Toucanno that raised it and its family of Pikipeks and a Trumbeak, ends up weary and hungry and in the arms of Ash. Ash takes care of it, feeds it in an adorable scene, and it eventually takes a watermelon and leaves.

(Rowlet eating a banana is better animated than most facial expressions so far.)

Ash and Mallow, only one of his friends-thank goodness, head into the forest to find it. They realize that it's bringing back food to the others. However, they are all soon attacked by Team Rocket... Who are then carried off by Bewear. If Team Rocket's going to blast off by being carried away by a bear then this is pitiful. It's still blasting off predictably, just... Now with this boring bear.

The bear isn't threatening. The bear isn't even interesting. It's just another downfall of this thing.

(Wait, so... Did they just get away with stealing the berries?... Huh...)

However, back to the original story. Contrary to usual Pokémon stories where the odd Pokémon out would realize they were being taken advantage of and leave with Ash, Toucannon nudges Rowlet out of the nest and gives his blessing to him going with Ash. As such, Rowlet cuddles with Ash before being caught officially and joining the group.

Again, this shows how much better the Pokémon are to the humans, and how the animation on the Pokémon is better too. However, episode four does a lot more than the previous three in other ways. Firstly, they eventually do cut down the amount of people who are pointlessly running around with Ash, though Mallow being there is pointless, and manage to somewhat suppress Ash's stupidity towards the end.

(Literally the first time Ash actually made a good expression; this is a cute scene.)

The moments between the Pokémon and Rowlet's backstory are particularly well done. The Pokémon scenes themselves are particularly well done. The human stuff is garbage. (Wow, feels like I'm talking about Silver Eyes again.) Team Rocket had an okay moment, but I see them getting really boring really quickly if they don't shape up.

Lillie's got to go. After playing the game, I realize how much of a bas- of a misconstruction of the character this is. Lillie's character arc in the game, her strength and ability to grow, is not present here. Instead, Lillie is just whatever was leftover from Misty. They gave her a fear of Pokémon, that's it. I don't even know why it bothers me so much, but it does.

Also, I must insist that the show treating it viewers like they've never seen Pokémon before, even having Rotom explain to Ash how to catch a Pokémon, is unbelievably awful. If you were going to make this Pokémon for people who've A: Never seen Pokémon, B: Never played Pokémon, and C: Don't understand the basic rules of Pokémon, then you should make a Pokémon alternative for people who aren't two years old. Even at three, when I started watching Pokémon, I grasped these general concepts. Pokémon wasn't talking down to me.

And I don't count those five minute long Pokémon skits on YouTube as anything more than advertising. They don't last long enough to be satisfying and a few of them seem to fail in getting their story across. Yet they seem leagues ahead of this show.

(I was right; this did get annoying fast. Doesn't she have any other character?)

So episode four was the best episode so far, but even it was fraught with failures. Even at its best, Sun and Moon pales in comparison to not only past Pokémon episodes, but to many cartoons out on the market. At this point, if it wasn't Pokémon I suspect that people wouldn't be watching it.

Also might I just say that, for a cartoon claiming to dumb down because it's supposed to be funny, there's few jokes. Like, nothing funny happens in it. I don't mean my view of funny either; they barely do anything except talk and throw big expressions. It's not funny. It's a lazy excuse.

So... Well, four episodes in and am a little more confident. Even with three's flaws, both three and four improve dramatically over the first two episodes. At this point we just have to wait and see if it continues to improve before episode ten. I actually want this to succeed; it's not like I hate Sun and Moon and want it to crash and burn. I want to have a better viewer experience.

I'm a little more hopeful, but only slightly. If these two episodes could show anything, it was that the Pokémon are really the only positive of the show. Rowlet, Mimikyu, and even Meowth have brought in more life to a boring cast of cookie cut characters... And Ash, but we try to pretend he's not there.

I'll be back to review 5 and 6, or maybe just 5 if 6 isn't posted with it, when next week rolls around. Until then... Well, I'll be watching something better. *Looks at current line up of cartoons.* Okay, never mind. Apparently I won't.

REALLY WEIRD Fnaf Toys (Marionette's head balloon) + Mymoji

I didn't think that I was going to make another one of these. I really, really didn't think that I would get to do another one of these... But dear Creator, it happened. All because of this one photo.

...Now to not address the elephant in the room just yet, these figures have some familiar problems. Foxy is the wrong color, Chica's beak is weird, Bonnie's coloring is goofy, Freddy's face is goofed, Springtrap looks 'meh', and then there's this monstrosity;

This... Horrible display is what happens when Marionette and Balloon Boy clash in the worst way possible. This is Mari with a balloon of himself! What in the hell am I supposed to make of this? Good grief, this is a nightmare! Fittingly, the title of the set calls it the 'Nightmare Puppet'. Let me tell you, this is extremely accurate. This thing will be in my nightmares tonight.

It's almost worth buying for shock value. The others aren't impressive, but this is just- This is a conversation starter. I mean, look, it started this blog post! This blog post wouldn't exist without this nightmare!...Unless that's not a balloon, and Mari's reproducing by budding.... It looks close enough that I could believe it.

The next set is a set that I think I've seen before, but I looked through my posts and couldn't find it.

Okay, so let's start with Funtime Foxy whose wearing a bikini. Her coloring is pretty off and, on closer inspection, she looks closer to Crystal from Star Fox than Foxy. Freddy's the same one as before, just with a darker color scheme. Balloon Boy... I think I've seen him before.

Then we have some sort of Mangle that, ironically, manages to have a relatively normal body. We have Mangle with a mangled face and Back to the Future's Doc's hair. Then we have hangman Mari. Creepy body, creepy arms, creepy face, possibly has breasts, a noose, and is STILL nowhere near as scary as balloon head Mari above him.

Sorry, my dear puppet, but you'll have to try a bit harder.

So here's our security guards, on the left Jeff the Killer and on the right is what is obviously a terminator pretending to be a human. Look at that metal spike jutting out of that club hand; you're not fooling anyone, buddy! And now we can see why Jeremy always wears that Freddy mask. Woof!

What comes next is another Mari. One that looks relatively alright except for a few quirks.

So this doll, other than apparently being on fire (or glowing, it's hard to tell), is only slightly odd. The face is slightly off, but looks close enough, and it even comes with a second mask. What is weird is Mari's feet. The fact that Mari has feet is pretty confused anyway. It looks like a long toe was added on, as though to give the illusion of high heels.

Again, I've seen worse. I mean, look and the puppets we've seen so far; this one is the closest to being accurate. As a bonus, we get to see what Mari would look like without his face on.

"Just give me a second to put on my face."

So we've seen a lot of weird Mari merchandise today, but don't fret! We're finally getting actual Puppet merchandise with a Marionette plush... I don't know where the hell they're selling it, but it should be there somewhere. (Starting to think Amazon exclusive.)

However, we have a few more things to look at! One of which is yet another Marionette figure, but this one...

...Actually looks pretty good. I mean, it's definitely not perfect, but looking at it directly it doesn't seem like there's many massive faults. The painting is amiss, but I've come to expect that. The face looks okay, the body isn't grotesque, there's nothing really weird going on, and it even comes with a detachable stand.

The thing is, this one also claims to be a Mexican knock off. This begs the question of why this one is so good and so many of them are so awful looking, mispainted, or just goofy. This one could absolutely pass as the real deal. Heck, Puppet lovers with a lack of merchandise could probably buy this figure to show off.

I mean, it's not perfect, and the price is a little high, but I must congratulate whoever made this. Out of all of the knock off FNAF merchandise, especially the Marionette stuff, you actually provided something promising.

Continuing on, we have a Springtrap figure with an odd packaging quirk.

So the Springtrap isn't too out of the blue. Not too great, not the worst I've seen, purple on the face to show Purple Guy, and relatively a lack of anything too obvious... Until you see the packaging. It's a cluster of FNAF characters shoved together on a title-less cardboard seal.

...Now I thought it was weird that the Puppet was only half there. So I didn't notice that the end of the cardboard by the Puppet was obviously torn, not cut properly. I didn't notice until I stumbled upon another set of FNAF figures.

So, basically, instead of making different packaging for the single figures, they just cut their normal packaging in half. I find that remarkably strange. At this rate, why even sell one alone? The packaging's oddness doesn't stop there. Between the cluster of multiple Freddys and various other characters behind Puppet, there is a surprisingly blank spot on the far left that bothers me for some reason.

So the final thing I'll get to in this blog post is, ironically enough, actual merchandise that I wanted to talk about. Today I will be reviewing the Mymoji toys that are sold for FNAF. They come in bags that look like this:

So it's another 'random bag' product, right? What's the point of buying three bags and getting two Chicas and a Bonnie, right? Well, I was pleased to realize that the bags are not lined with anything. As such, you can get one of these bags, fondle it, and then know what character it is.

You won't know what face you will get, as each character has three faces, but you most likely will be able to figure out which character you're getting. Because of this, I suspect it is some of the faces that are harder to get, and not the characters in particular. As such, I was able to get a couple of Marionette heads for myself.

These are two of the three faces. After buying two more, and getting both of these again (which I consider lucky, I rather two sets of each than one of one and three of another) I believe it is the third face that is probably the elusive one to find.

Here's a picture:

I may try again to find this one, but I have a feeling I won't be able to without spending more than I'd like. XD

Anyway, the heads are made of a hard, sturdy plastic. They aren't rubbery; they're rock hard with molding and painting on the outside. The bottom has a slight flat spot so that you can sit them up for display. They work well and I don't have trouble with them rolling around. They also have some weight to them. I could see taking a couple of these and using them like those zen balls you roll in your hand for stress.

They're also adorable! The faces are printed on just nicely, with only a slight defect on the cheeks sometimes. The paint doesn't feel like it'll wear or chip anytime soon, but I wouldn't rub something sharp on it or anything. All in all, they don't feel cheap and they're quite adorable, so I would recommend getting one. Just buy one in person so you can feel over package and choose.

So that's it for now. Do I think I'll do another one of these?... Probably yes. Every time I say 'no', something insane appears on Ebay and I'm back here typing another blog post. After this point, I think I might start numbering them. Who knew FNAF would get so much weird merchandise!

(Yeah, I don't think Markiplier signed off on this.)

The Simpsons: Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus (Review)

...Why do I subject myself to this? Ugh, here we go again.

So the episode starts off in a pretty confused manner. It starts with the family looking for their car, then noticing the Landlard Donut statue is gone, then they get a new statue, then it destroys the town, and only then does the actual story finally occur. All of this former stuff is filler that isn't exactly funny. There's a thinker joke, but like many of the others in this episode it drags out too long.

Basically, in agreement to fix the town, Mr. Burns puts on a play at the Spingfield Bowl. Apparently he has a dark past when he performed as a child, and he becomes determined to make the perfect show. They show bits of this past, but don't reveal what actually happened until later on. He hires on Lisa as an assistant.

Meanwhile, Homer slacks at the Power Plant with all of his friends. Nothing really happens in this time.

Back to Burns and Lisa, Lisa mentions something about a cannon act being impossible and Mr. Burns ends the show right then. One comment and the show is abruptly over. Lisa goes after Mr. Burns and finds out the truth about how he was embarrassed at the show. She encourages him to start the show again, which he does.

Homer realizes that he has become too lazy and encourages the workers to go back to work.

The show begins with a few various acts. There's one or two cameos with various degrees of interest, but not really much to mention. Then there's a firework joke was actually sort of funny, but they drag it on too long. If she would've said, "Look, fireworks!" then it cut to people running from the plant, then immediately cut back to the show it would've managed itself a little better.

Then Burns gets on stage and there's an accident, resulting in the same thing happening as before. He blames Lisa, everyone disappears, and then suddenly he forgives Lisa once again. She plays her sax for him and Burns sits with Smithers, with one final joke.

So... To clarify, this is better than 'Every Man's Dream', but not by much. The episode is not cohesive and can't manage a story. By the end of it the ending seemed abrupt, because not much actually happened during it. To compare it to a different episode entirely, randomly, let's compare it to... That episode where Homer hires a detective to research Lisa. Just a random episode.

Lisa sees a diary commercial on TV and wants one for her birthday. Homer doesn't get there in time, so he gets her a tape instead that stars her and false information about her. She's distraught that he father doesn't know anything about her and gets angry. To become a better father, Homer hires a detective to get info. It works until the detective reveals a massive bill that Homer doesn't pay. In response, the detective frames Lisa, and she goes with Homer on the run. Eventually she finds out the truth and they are eventually cornered by the detective in a hall of mirrors. Homer reveals that he does remember some things about Lisa, who uses a laser pointer birthday gift to stop the detective. Lisa's proven innocent and Homer's closer with her.

Do you notice the difference? Firstly, there's an actual plot that doesn't bob around everywhere or go in confusing locations. Secondly, it uses what it has; there's a detective so they make jokes on detectives, on bad disguises, on being on the run, and on things that clearly apply to the episode. Mr. Burns' Fleeing Circus doesn't even really make any circus jokes or play around with the material.

Here's another example: One of the jokes is that Mr. Burns remembers everything perfectly. He then remembers his mother licking him like a dog...There's no punch, nothing kooky, nothing to show this is real or not... and they've made this joke before. In the episode where they legalize gambling, Homer says he remembers everything perfectly. He then remembers a clearly wrong scene with Marge having green hair, a lot of wrong people being there, and Homer himself being different. The joke is more precise and thus fits better.

Most jokes drag themselves out. Like a Youtuber doing a Johntron impression, stumbling over their words and restating the same word repeatedly like it's a joke. (Which it's not. It's a purposeful, unfunny stutter.) They continue to restate, add on, and occasionally return to old, failed jokes.

The problem is that the episode really has trouble with pacing. It spends a lot of its time trying to tell jokes, but it doesn't allow itself to set up for them at all, which means that most of the jokes appear suddenly and don't leave an impact. Simpsons, ironically enough, used to be a lot smarter. I guess it's because of its new kid audience that it's been dumbing it down... But kids aren't stupid.

This is just lazy writing. They stitched together a ton of parts in a shoddy ways and couldn't even make it funny. The 'jokes' are notoriously amateur, even for the Simpsons.

Homer's subplot is absolutely pointless. I'm not kidding; there's no reason for Homer even to have a subplot. If they took him out they would've had more time to tweak the main plot. The main plot needed that time too. The two parts that definitely needed more time were when Burns abruptly cancels the show, as it's so quick that it doesn't make much sense, and the ending.

Oh dear, that ending. How cold and emotionless. Simpsons has done emotions before. It has done emotions with Mr. Burns and Lisa before. So to have such an emotionally distant ending is a disgrace. Mr. Burns is embarrassed and mad at Lisa; at this point is when Lisa should do one of three things. She can call him out on his behavior, she can reveal to him how happy the audience is and how they just think it's a routine, or she can just comfort him. The second option seems most viable. Mr. Burns' pride is regained, as he can just say it was a clever performance meant to be funny, he gets over the past event, and Lisa gets off without punishment.

However, what does the episode do instead? It wusses out. Mr. Burns just 'forgets' and suddenly everything is A-Okay. Lisa plays his saxophone while he watches her and then it ends. Not only is this extremely anticlimactic, but is notoriously heartless. It knows it has the ability to do something nice, but instead wastes it. It doesn't even do a more cynical joke; it just gives up. As though the writers are just so bored with the episode that they ended it the quickest way they possibly could.

The only thing I can say positive is that this may have bored and underwhelmed me, but it didn't frustrate me like 'Every Man's Dream' managed to do. I came out of that feeling an actual sense of anger. Here... Underwhelmed, but unoffended. There's no bad morals, there's no shoe horned in characters who are badly written, it's not actually too cliché; it's lazy, but it is harmless enough.

Do I think this means the show is improving? Absolutely not. This is still extremely subpar for a show that's been running this long. It's shows like this that leave people wanting shows to end after a couple of seasons, desperately seeking a quick end so that the show doesn't become a stale monstrosity leeching off of its history, like this does.

I'm actually considering reviewing more episodes to see if they all have the same problem, which I may do, but for now I'll end with this:

Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus is one of the Simpson's weakest opening episodes ever. Considering that it is only slightly more tolerable than last season's, I take this as a bad sign for what's to come.

The Risk of Peridot becoming Flanderized

So I think another hiatus is coming. A lot of people are fine with it because of all the episodes were dropped; nice to see them becoming so cooperative, right? Maybe they're like me; I don't get enough of the high anymore to feel the withdrawals. Though this does give me the chance to write about something that I've been thinking of for a while now.

This is a concern about Steven Universe that has nudged at me more than once in the past. Even though the show is so known for how much different it acts over others, how well it writes characters, this seems like a very likely scenario. Really, Peridot is set up to fall into this rut, so the risk is obviously there. Though (the 'f' word) is very common in media these days.

Firstly, Peridot's drastic change in character was good, but is sometimes concerning if you consider how quickly she could change again. At first, Peridot was an interesting but not very fleshed out villain. Her real emotional core came during her change into a good guy, her redemption, which showed us more of Peridot's emotional side and taught her how her behavior effected others. Now, post that, Peridot's niche is turning into comic relief.

And I mean comic relief alone. If Beta, Earthlings, and Kindergarten Kid shows us anything, it is that Peridot is somewhat regressing. She spends most of her time being goofy, cracking jokes, and saying unintentionally offensive things to the others. In Beta and Kindergarten Kid, Peridot manages to insensitively offend Amethyst twice, and coming after 'Too Far' it comes off as a regression.

Peridot no longer is around to learn about the others, so she now is mostly there as a joke. Sometimes it works, like in Beta, but sometimes it's just too blunt, as in the Kindergarten Kid. Also, someone whose so intelligent tends to have more than a couple of stupid moments, which are only sometimes actually fun to watch.

Even after the Cluster, Peridot seems more unable to hold her own than ever. Currently, this is not a big problem, and Peridot is still enjoyable. I'm not saying she isn't. What I am saying is that Peridot is in the danger zone of flanderization. Take for example another quirky character who was well faceted, but sort of kooky; Jackie from Roseanne.

Peridot and Jackie share a lot of similarities. They are both smart but have their clueless moments. They are somewhat independent, but show dependent traits in times of need. They are mostly comic relief, but have a lot of heart as well. They also are close, like a sibling and a sibling, to the main character. This allows them to come along to learn the moral.

Though we all know what happened to Jackie. She went from being a strong character to being a babbling idiot, barely able to form a functional sentence, only there to cause problems and to point and laugh at when they fail. Like for example; in one episode, Jackie, who is incredibly close to Roseanne, has a total fit where she says that Roseanne is a bad mother and all her kids are failures... But why this is so weird is because it's literally because she gave a kid a cookie.

It seems unbelievable that someone as close to her as Jackie would get so extreme over something so nonsensical. It's strictly to cause a rift, and to again laugh when Jackie can't even get through an insult without dragging out a five minute long 'she's a moron who can't talk' joke.

See, because Jackie turned into something of a fool. Giggling and babbling for the camera, cause conflict when it needed it, barely able to stand on her own. She also never seemed to be doing anything. In the beginning, Jackie had jobs, had hobbies, went out a lot, and lived a full life. By the end, Jackie did nothing except appear when plot demanded it. She no longer had any outside life.

So how does this apply to Peridot? Well, Peridot could easily drop into this same trap. Consider this; when Peridot first started getting used to the group she was offensive, unafraid to hurt their feelings, and distant. She got closer to them over time. The Amethyst comparison is most important as 'Too Far' was a big character moment for Peridot. Peridot learned she could hurt people's feelings and that it made her feel bad too. Or feel 'small'.

By 'Kindergarten Kid', Peridot slipped back into her old behavior. She knows Amethyst is upset, Steven mentioned it before, but still is unashamed of talking against the Crystal Gems like their relationship has suddenly deteriorated. While one may say it's just Peridot 'being Peridot', I could see this going in a bad direction. Right now it's fine, but imagine this:

Peridot appears in episodes strictly to crack jokes about the other Gems and makes a fool out of herself. She starts throwing bigger and bigger tantrums whenever she's shown, incapable of being able to keep an even tone at all. She also loses the rest of her intelligence and is barely able to do anything without Steven, Lapis, or the Crystal Gems guiding her. Whenever she's around she's followed by a constant slew of 'shipping' and 'Camp Pining Hearts' references, even when it doesn't apply. Her statements are all jokes, unable to converse without a punchline being shoed in. All the while, Peridot becomes less and less competent.

And then flanderization sets in. It's so easy, you know? And it's not like Steven Universe is 'so good' that it can't unintentionally do this. Guess what other shows were great, but eventually suffered from flanderization; SpongeBob, Simpsons, and Roseanne. All of these shows did have a time where they were great, but then characters started to falter. SpongeBob, Patrick, Homer Simpson, Ned Flanders, Mark, Jackie...

Do I think that everyone on Steven Universe will fall into the trap? No. I think, at the worst case, Peridot's character will simply suffer from this pattern of writing. Do I think she will become flanderized? I don't know. I mean, I thought SpongeBob was great, I though Homer Simpson was a decent father, I thought Jackie was the cool one- Peridot could join this list.

Or maybe the episode just reverted her for the Looney Tunes reference... I use reference lightly, because when you do the exact same thing it's not exactly a reference. I don't know, but I hope that Peridot doesn't continue this trend or we might be heading down the same path that we've seen many times before. Even with Peridot demoted to a side character, it would be a shame...

And for the love of stars, would it kill you to give Peridot an actual weapon again?!

Even More Weird FNAF Toys (Coloring books and Papyrus.)

I seriously thought I was done. Wow, that wasn't the case. I found more toys and while some may look familiar, these were definitely worth showing off. Though I fear that this might be the last time I have enough items to do a full report on these FNAF toys... Until, of course, after Sister Location spawns a whole new group of characters to put in merchandise.

First we have a set of five FNAF characters.

You may recognize this packaging from the Minecaft Harem set of FNAF figures. Like those, this is a box with five figures, but this one is clearly more FNAF-like than those. Though it still mistakenly says 'six' figures on the package. The set contains Freddy, Chica, Foxy, Bonnie, and Golden Freddy. First thing's first; something looks off about the dolls.

You may notice that right away; they certainly look a bit more cheap than the actual figures in the group. Their colors are a little off, like Bonnie's grape purple and Chica's lemon yellow. Getting a closer picture shows that the painting job is not as good the closer you get.

The legs also look a little funny, but I don't know if they move or not. There's really not too much to say about this. It's... Pretty standard... Except, of course, for one thing that stands out.

Yet again, we have a toy that glows. I... Am baffled. This picture also shows that Freddy and Goldie both have Foxy's ears and I'm not certain why. But even better, you know that background that I said was odd? I found a cake topper that seems to be source image.

If you look closely, this is clearly the picture on the back of the package, and it's on the Freddy Harem too. It's definitely someone's fanart, but I don't know whose, unfortunately.

Now onto another figure. This one... Is very unique...

This is another glowing action figure. You might be wondering who the figure is. This is Blank, an animatronic made to be drawn on. He's one of the characters from 'Five Nights at Candy's'. Which means this is a fan character that's being sold as actual merchandise. This isn't too uncommon, but an actual action figure is a little more than the usual package pictures.

This one actually had me baffled for a while. For a short time I was torn on whether or not this was a legit plush or a knock off. After getting one of the official plushes, and realizing the tag is wrong, I've come to the conclusion that this is a fake. This Marionette plush goes for cheap online and is actually a close likeness, or close to what an in-game Mari plush would look like.

Shockingly enough, out of all of the Weird FNAF toys, this one is the only one that I've truly considered buying. It looks like the Marionette, it's adorable, and being a plush it isn't as likely to fall apart.

It was the Balloon Boy plush frequently shown with it that gave away that Mari was a fake. BB here is quite a bit more inconsistent in looking like BB. He holds a lollipop instead of a balloon, the sign says 'Hugs' instead of 'Balloons', and the shape is pretty off. For some reason I just think the Puppet looks closer to the character than the BB one.

What I'm moving onto next is something that I never expected to see... A FNAF Coloring Book.

Yet again, I'm somehow surprised. Someone made a FNAF coloring book. The cover, like most packages I've been seeing, has left me completely dumbstruck. FNAF World Freddy is surrounded by a cluster of Nightmare animatronics.

What is the most hilarious is the picture of Plushtrap in the front, arms crossed in the 'tough' position, trying to look cool. Or how about that weird endoskeleton on the left of the book? That endoskeleton that I don't think I've seen before in any games.

These are the first two pages. You can also see the stickers that come with it in the center. Plushtrap looks okay, but Nightmare Freddy... Looks ridiculous. With so many dark spots he can't be fun to color. The small squares at the top say 'Pega Aqui', I think it's 'Get/Place Here' and is probably for the stickers. Which is also odd; why put the stickers back into the book? It's not even a sticker book!

There's also plus and minus signs, fruits, and words with letters missing floating around the page. It doesn't contrast right with either of these characters, especially Nightmare Freddy. Look at this; beefy, scary Freddy surrounded by fruits. Totally fits the mood.

Here we have Chica and Funtime Foxy from FNAF World. They're surrounded by numbers and squares but they at least look easier to color. They look so plain though without any backgrounds... Even that silly 'Five Nights with Friends' picture looked like it would be more fun to color than this. There's also a Freddy one, but I'll skip showing it.

Here we have Nightmare Chica and Nightmare Foxy. The same complaint as before with the Nightmare coloring. There's also a Bonnie one as well. Again we see numbers and vegetables floating around in space around the two characters. The back cover has some numbers and shapes on it, no pictures of FNAF.

...And as unbelievable as it is. There's more coloring books.

This is the Halloween version, apparently. There's a cluster of Nightmare animatronics, normal Freddy, and the same Plushtrap from the coloring book before. I'm not exactly sure what that on the left side of the picture is, that white thing, but... I don't know. At least the coloring looks more accurate.

This coloring book is more dynamic certainly, though I wonder if it is stolen fanart. There's another group of stickers that are supposed to be put on the pages, the numbers, and even a word find on this one. I guess that would make this coloring book an improvement on the last one.

Though I am now starting to wonder if these pages are appropriate for children. That on the right really looks like it could scare a kid. I mean, I know there's adult coloring books, but with the numbers and stuff... This audience is seriously confused.

These two look more child friendly... With math questions on them. Huh... I'll skip past the Chica one that looks like Freddy and Foxy from before. Instead I'll move onto the back cover which is much more interesting than the last one was.

...Okay this... I ran out of words to describe this. Not only do both Springtraps look weird and Chica is winking, but what is up with Foxy?! His coloring is completely shot and his face- He doesn't even look like Foxy! What on Earth- Where did this even come from?!

This is where I reveal that there is a third comic book... And this is the one that left me the most speechless. I couldn't even believe this; there's not even as many provided pictures, it's just this cover that left me entirely speechless.

...Why yes, that is a freakishly deformed Nightmare Freddy.
And, yes, that is also a character from a FNAF fangame.
And, you see right, a cartoon Spring Bonnie.
And Papyrus.

What... How do I even react to this? A stolen fan character, an out of place cartoon, and Papyrus from Undertale. From the few pages shown inside the coloring book it doesn't look like there are any Undertale characters inside. What in the hell is he doing here?
(I didn't post the pictures because they were basically more of the same.)

The last item of the evening is another set of those FNAF handmade figures. The only reason I show them is because of how scary and deformed the Puppet looks.

It's like if the puppet from Saw melted and grew super big, long hands. Freddy and the gang are kind of unsettling too, but that Puppet is just frightening!... And strangely enough, that Endoskeleton actually looks pretty good. The painting and everything on him is actually nice, which is quite a contrast to the others. If he was alone and cheap then he'd be worth a purchase... Then again, Scary Mari might be fun for collectors.

So that is another set of weird FNAF toys! I don't know if I'll find any more, but these were certainly some strange ones to stumble upon. Will my quest of Freddy toys ever end? Will we ever figure out why so many of these toys glow? Only time will tell.

(These guys glow too.)

Reviewing Facebook Games (UPDATE): Suburbia abandoned.

Oh boy, I am wanting to eat my words now. A while back I reviewed a Facebook game known as Suburbia and gave it a moderately positive pass as a sim game. Unfortunately, I now realize the dark truth behind Suburbia, beyond the murder and scandal is something that is actually pretty bad.

My first sign that something was going on was when I noticed that the Easter themed items were still able to be bought and hadn't moved on to summer themed ones. I just assumed that they only did ones for specific holidays, shrugged it off, and continued to play. Then I got to episode six and hit a brick wall. The game said, and I quote;

"More to Come: Thanks for playing our beta so far. Like our game to receive updates about new releases! In the meantime, move up the career ladder and decorate your home. The Suburbia Team."

At first this seemed innocent enough. Okay, so I went through the main storyline faster than expected, right? It'll get a new episode soon, right? Wrong.

Upon checking the actual Facebook page for Suburbia I saw something that confirmed my worst fears. Fears on the game I mean, of course. The last post from the game was on September 20th, 2015, and this was just a, "Happy weekend! Some free money!" post. If we'll get technical, the last post that wasn't one of those was a contest where you could spot a zebra and win in game money. That was May 1st of 2015.

The Easter stuff came in April of 2015. I thought it was this year's Easter, but it was last year's! This was also the last update of any kind. Now brace yourself... Episode 5 was posted, get this, on March 13th, 2014.

This game has been abandoned by its creators, no longer updated, and yet it is still taking people's money. I saw thousands of comments begging for a continuation, lamenting spending money on rubies, and getting not even a response. The company that published this, the 'team' knows its in an unfinished state, and they haven't been able to update in two years. It's not that hard; these Facebook games don't need much implementing.

Look at City Girl Life, a game I panned because of its greediness for gold to get actual prizes. That game updates constantly with missions, specials, roulettes, and such. If that game can do it constantly, then why is it so hard for this game to do it? To do even the most basic of things? Game designing isn't this hard; all you do is set the mission to require x amount of items and type a little dialogue. It shouldn't be that hard.

And honestly, regardless of the little bit of money they make off of this game, they would be able to make so much more if they continued adding episodes. These people who bought rubies would have most likely bought again if the option was given to them, but it wasn't, and the game is abandoned.

I found this game on the front game page presented as though it was popular and thriving. Facebook doesn't have any sort of rating system, no comments on the actual game page, and frankly doesn't regulate the games it does have at all. This game should be labelled as incomplete and either taken down or have the ruby system removed entirely. This 'team' doesn't deserve money for slight content.

I will not be playing Suburbia again, I don't recommend it at all, the story really isn't good enough to warrant playing it, and I hope you take my suggestion and stay far, far away from it.