Suburbia 2: A Facebook Game Continuation

Yes, you read that right, there is a Suburbia 2... Just to recap:
Suburbia was an abandoned game on Facebook that pretended it was still running, but was completely ignored by its creators. It continued taking money from unsuspecting people who didn't know that it stopped at Episode 6.

Then, without any warning, a sequel appeared on the Facebook page. To clarify, I checked Suburbia's original game and there's been no changes to it. It still claims that the next episode is 'on the way' after two years without any real updates. I'm assuming Suburbia was finally left to die while they worked on this sequel.

...So what's the sequel like? Surprisingly, Suburbia 2 is a bit different from the original Suburbia... But in mixed ways.

You play as yourself, inheriting a bakery from your missing uncle who may of ran off with a woman. Or murdered her. Or was murdered by her. That's the mystery this time around, but the game doesn't really focus itself on that. In fact, the game's focus is much different than in the original.

Instead of raising your skills, doing a job for money, and collecting furniture to make your house look nice; Suburbia 2's gameplay is primarily focused on running a bakery. So you spend a lot of your time farming resources and cooking meals, which take a pretty long amount of time, to progress in the story... Or what story there is. I'll go into that later.

As in the original, it wants you to shell out real money for its red rubies. Considering the situation with the first game, I hope people decide not to do this and instead wait twelve hours to bake a pie... So baking isn't even in real time, which would make more logical sense.

Completing orders is not a choice. You have to complete orders so that you can get story points to continue actually playing through the story. Not that the story is worth playing for. At least in the first Suburbia I was able to find a body pretty quickly, in this game all I've seen is 'character x wants y, gives vague story element that contradicts other ones, leaves'. I'll address more about this later.

So the gameplay involves a lot of waiting for resources and creations to be finished crafting, collecting them, and getting a few seconds of dialogue as a reward. The money system that you collect from the orders is practically pointless unless you want to buy stuff for the front room, but most of this is locked behind the dreaded ruby wall that blocks you from continuing playing.

Like, for instance, remember when you could go into a neighbor's house a shamelessly use their stuff, but just wouldn't get as much of a mood reward? You can't do that anymore. This is both good and bad. Bad because it limits choice and playability. Good because, well, the mood meter is completely gone! You don't need mood to keep going, which is great... But the price is the ruby paywall, the lack of actual stuff to do except farming resources, and the basic shell of a story.

And the story points really are a problem. Mostly because they aren't needed in between episodes, but in between the basic actions of the story. An episode can still be in progress, but you have to ship hundreds of apples just to talk with a different character than the one you were originally talking with.

With these waiting times, you'll be stuck for hours waiting for a pie to ship to the library, to get enough points to talk to a woman who may say something entirely pointless. It's unbelievable how much longer you have to wait in this game compared to the first one, and it doesn't help me feel better about my choice to actually play the game.

Another big issue is that some quests require items that you need to unlock through leveling, and leveling involves doing more orders... And the horrific cycle continues yet again

So, you think, it can't be that bad. Harvest a ton of ingredients and then set a lot of things to cook overnight... Nope, doesn't work. You have limited storage that you can't upgrade. (Or you can upgrade with rubies, but I haven't seen that option.) So you're basically damned if you do and damned if you don't. You're stuck constantly managing resources and wasting your time for no payoff.

Suburbia 2, with all pros and cons, is probably on the exact same level as the original game. However, with the questionable nature of the first game, I don't trust this one nearly as much. Giving them money is absolutely not an option under any circumstances, and even promoting the game with 'it's okay' feels like a slap in the face of those who needlessly lost money.

So, to be careful, I checked Suburbia 2's Facebook page and found a few recent comments that... Seem very significant. Because of privacy concerns, I won't mention these people's names, but I'll give a summery of what they said:

Person one said that, like Suburbia, once you hit a certain spot you get stuck behind a 'coming soon' episode wall. This time it's episode seven. She also mentioned a 'spice problem'.

Person two said that they were stuck in a glitch where all orders called for muffins, but they hadn't unlocked muffins, and couldn't without finishing orders.

Person three again mentions this spice problem. Person four mentions that the spice rack won't work at all.

Person five mentions a limit on neighbor visiting and sending gifts to other players. As I don't play with others, I wouldn't have noticed this.

The final person, and most important, mentions that they've been stuck for a week on the same story element, mostly because of this mysterious spice glitch. They say they get no response from the technical team, which doesn't shock me in the slightest, and have decided to quit.

So here's my thoughts... Yeah, no, this is awful. Every problem I mentioned and now there's a severe glitch screwing everyone over. Nobody should be playing this game. It's a tedious nightmare.

UPDATE:

I returned to Suburbia 2 after a few months and found out more. Firstly, they are at episode 11... But you have to pay rubies to get early access. Somewhat glad to see that they're still updating, but the ruby paywall is still heavy with this one.

Only a few people were complaining about spice, but I'm seeing people complain of various other glitches here and there. The biggest issue seems to be this; people are getting bored of the gameplay and are having a problem with the grinding it takes to make it to the next story element.

I'm not surprised in the slightest. Back when I wrote the first part of this, months ago, I questioned how long a game like this could last. These 'ingredient farming' games are everywhere and this one's only perk is a story that just won't get moving.

Another thing is some sort of delivery truck thing you can do in the higher levels. I haven't reached that point yet, but a LOT of people are saying that it is not paying out high enough. From the screenshots I'm seeing, they seem about right. You have a time limit to farm plenty of recipes and then only get a small amount of cash. I wonder if this is to sell rubies, to get everything done quicker?

And, just as expected, no plans to fix the first game. The first game still says 'coming soon'.

So... My final verdict is that this game is a chore. It's not even as fun as baking in real life and you have to feed it cash to get any sort of immediate reward. Just on principle alone, I don't think you should play this game. While they're updating now, whose to say that one day they won't just abandon this one too?

With the glitches and the boring mechanics, the slow story and the spice; this game just seems like a recipe for failure. If you want to try it, then be my guest, but I strongly warn against giving them money.

Also, so we're on the same page...

"Who are the Allens and why are they out of spice?"

What Remains of Edith Finch? Depression and little else.

What Remains of Edith Finch is what happens when someone tries to make something like Dear Esther, but attempts to give a hopeful and whimsical approach... But fails miserably, because the story is so depressing, the characters are all drags, and the moral itself is a complete dud.

The game's story is so confused that the moral, "life is short and strange, but should be celebrated", is almost completely undone by how pathetic it portrays life to be. Yes, these family members are... Interesting enough, but their only interesting aspect is their deaths (sometimes). The only people who take joy from their existence are people who wonder about their deaths.

And everyone is dead. Spoiler alert: everyone is dead and gone. You're walking through an empty house with no hope, alone, and feeling like you'd rather be anywhere else. The game does bring around emotions, but I personally found that I was having so little enjoyment out of the story that I wanted to be far away from it.

It doesn't even sit as a tribute to family and love. Unravel did a great job at that. Unravel made you feel what it was like to watch life move on. This game makes everyone either look like a jerk, look stupid, or just look like a depressed shell. The 'family' is just a collection of anecdotes.

As a relatively stressed person, this game didn't make me feel like life was worth living. It made me feel like, for a brief second, that life is completely pointless. What is the point of going on if you're going to die in an extremely convoluted and sometimes stupid way? What are these stories worth, if they are so basic and rehashed? (And extremely predictable as well.)

The game especially goes lengths to show that the effort of finding hope is fruitless. That no matter what you do, what goodness you try, you will be tormented in the end. That in the end, you will suffer. Yes, we all face death, but good job making everybody's death so pitiful.

In the end, I didn't feel connected to anyone. I just rolled my eyes at the extremely predictable ending and made myself something to eat. I was so bored that by time the game was over, that I was willing to do anything else. Even- gasp- stepping away from my computer.

Now, the whole thing about a curse?... Never addressed. Whether the stories are real or not, never addressed. A more interesting story waits in this bog of self-pity, but the game never allows us to see it. So many people are going to praise this game for its message, for the tragedy, but it's tragedy without a cause. There's no payoff in the end; you walk out of the house feeling like you wasted your time.

The house itself is sometimes interesting, but you're not discovering it. It's one of those handholding games, so you don't even have true exploration on your side. The narrator as well is also just a depressing voice to remind you how sad it is to be in a house with so much death and loneliness, and how sad you're supposed to feel, and how deep its supposed to be.

But What Remains of Edith Finch is only deep if your description of 'deep' involves mindless tragedy and nothing else. (And I mean mindless not as 'in the cosmic scheme' and more mindless in 'the writers clearly didn't give their all for all stories'.)

The game tries to give the illusion that there are highs, but there never are. Nobody dies in a way that makes you say, "Wow, that's amazing! Crazy way to die, but it was almost worth it." Most of the time, people die through stupid mistakes, and mistakes that aren't even worth thinking about.

Then there's the few cases where people are just written out. The missing brother feels less like an example of continued despair and more like they got lazy on writing his story. His room has a little character, but he isn't given any at all. You're in and out pretty quickly and only look at his drawing book for any sort of 'story'.

It doesn't help that, no matter who the narrator is, they are always such a buzzkill to listen to. Everyone's in a constant state of mourning, but unlike Dear Esther, this one keeps trying to up the stakes:
"Oh, the little boy falling off the cliff isn't enough? Here's a drowning baby. SEE, this is why you need to ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE. SEE?!"

Uh, no. Your moral is unbalanced and your game was almost, just almost as hard to watch as 'Everyone Goes to Rapture'. And in comparison to 'Gone Home', in this game you have much less to pick up and look at. You're in and out of a room in seconds.

Would you like to wander around a large house with only a few interesting items, a bunch of depressing moments, a sappily fake ending, and don't care about feeling unfulfilled? Then watch this game online. I don't recommend a buy. This... Thing isn't worth $20.

It's not scary, it's not whimsical, it's not interesting, it's not thought provoking.

It's just tragic... That this was the game everyone was hyping up. It's just a shame.

Rocknaldo: Steven Universe Review

Look, if this wasn't such a scenario then I wouldn't review this. I have decided to stop reviewing Steven Universe episodes and the reason is... Well, I'll go into it at the end of this review. For now, the basic idea is that the episode was such a display that I had to review it.

I know this episode is getting a lot of negative reactions and I can see why. Though I'm not passionate enough to have an instant hate and will try to use this to my advantage here. Instead, I will begin by saying that the writers of Steven Universe have had long enough to spot and fix a problem, but instead decided to capitalize on it in the worst of ways.

So the episode is basically... The most disliked character in SU acts even worse than usual, to the point that I feel like this is out of character for him, and the episode makes bland meta jokes that don't make up for the obvious annoyance that they portray. The episode tries to be witty, but instead manages to show why this season has felt so empty.

The Plot:

The episode begins with Ronaldo spreading material about the Crystal Gems, or Rock People, that he believes about. Steven points out that it's wrong and is clearly offended, but explains that he's uninformed. Ronaldo has an overdramatic display of apology... That feels extremely fake for someone whose been able to show emotions in the past.

Back at the Temple, the Crystal Gems talk dismissively about Ronaldo's internet pity-party, which ends with them finding out that he wants to join the Crystal Gems. The Gems don't agree, but Steven talks them into letting him stay. (This whole thing is obviously a reference to people who want Connie, Lapis, and other characters to become Crystal Gems.)

Steven then talks to Ronaldo, who mentions his Gemsona, Bloodstone, and then shows his sword... So, let's address the elephant in the room now. Yes, Cartoon Network teased about a new gem and it turned out to be Ronaldo. The trick was clearly see-through. The only thing annoying about this is that, alas, the show recognizes that the episode is annoying and plays into it like it is funny. While, again, I don't hate this episode, I know plenty of people are already bitter towards it.

Because the irony is this; making fun of your fans by making a character an awful mess doesn't always equal laughs. It was funny when Peridot made ships because, as goofy as she acted, she was still a lovable character. It's not funny when Ronaldo make an OC, but this is strictly because of what happens after this point in the episode.

The moment when Steven and Ronaldo play around with him being a gem is actually sweet for a short moment, but it turns sour quick.

The Crystal Gems have a mission- don't worry, they don't show it or explain anything about it- and leave Ronaldo behind. Ronaldo is upset, somewhat understandable, but almost immediately starts acting like a jerk. He begins to be bitter towards Steven and tells him to show off his gem. Steven does, uncomfortably.

That night, Ronaldo explains that he's no longer sleeping and keeps Steven awake. He tells Steven that, as a gem, he should stay awake all night. He's again being bitter, or maybe self-centered, it's hard to tell the difference. The next day, Ronaldo asks about Connie and doesn't understand why she gets treated better than him.

Steven calls him out as not being a Crystal Gem, Ronaldo calls Steven out for not being loving and understanding, Steven leaves but realizes he wasn't in the wrong and returns to a delirious Ronaldo. He yells at him and Ronaldo passes out. They drop him outside, poke jokes at him, and then the three headed Crystal Gem unit leaves.

Some time later, Steven finds Ronaldo staring out at the ocean. He's being angsty and starts to apologize, but it then sort of turns into a self-praise session instead of an actual apology. Then for the last few seconds of the episode he asks Steven about his name, briefly acting like a normal person, and the episode ends.

The Review:

...So the flaws are obvious; the writers decided that, instead of fixing Ronaldo's character, they were going to embrace it and make him act like the worst person ever. It's not even funny and the episode doesn't seem willing to make jokes that are actually funny. Then few of them that were identifiable were pretty weak.

I don't remember Ronaldo being such a jerk in the earlier episodes. Yes, he was unhinged in his first appearance, but in the second one he was, at least, a little nicer. This time, they tried their hardest to make him completely unlikable. They don't make Ronaldo a more fleshed out character, they don't build on him at all, and they (maybe) write off his behavior from sleep deprivation.

That still, Ronaldo continuously acts like a jerk to Steven. He treats Steven more aggressively than Lars does, and his change from 'happy' to 'jealous' is almost immediate. Maybe Ronaldo can't understand how he would need to train before his mission, but I'm not sure that I believe he, as Steven's friend, would become so aggressive so quickly.

Also, the Crystal Gems are doing there 'nothing to do/hive mind' thing again. All three appear at the same time, make comments, and leave until later. They feel shoehorned in since them being there and their dialogue is mostly pointless. They are there because they have to be there, and that's all they do.

Steven's... Okay. He's just Steven. He gets upset, he gets concerned, he gets annoyed, and he's supportive. He does what he usually does... Though the episode doesn't give him much to do. Steven just seems like the designated 'victim' of the episode.

Like The New Crystal Gems, which I didn't review, this episode has an uncomfortably mean-spirited tone with even less of an outcome. Though I think that one left a more bitter taste in my mouth. This one... Sort of just disappointed me. I cared enough about this one to rewatch and make this review, so that's something.

I'd like to clarify that I don't dislike this episode because it isn't a plot-centric episode. I dislike it because it's actually filler (no character building of any real kind) and it's not even fun or amusing. It's just so hard to watch because you can see where they're trying to be meta, but just can't achieve anything better than a reference.

How I would make it better:

This is actually very basic as this plotline is not a new one. Here's my ideas.

Ronaldo wants to join the Gems, Steven talks for him, he joins. Then, instead of being a jerk, Ronaldo is annoying in understandable ways and generally unfit for the job. Such as him getting overexcited, putting his stuff everywhere, constantly swinging his sword around; doing stuff that the Gems would get annoyed at but the audience could understand. Then they give Ronaldo a basic mission, or errand really, and Ronaldo fails.

Steven finally has to tell Ronaldo that he is unfit for the job. Either one or two options occur:

1: Ronaldo is distraught and falls into depression, Steven feels guilty, but weeks later Ronaldo appears again and apologizes. He realizes that he wasn't really professional and decides that he wants to 'earn' a place at the Crystal Gems. For now, he will continue to spread information that they approve, and he hopes someday to be a part of the group.

2: Ronaldo gets angry and calls out Steven's lack of compassion, Steven calls him back out on his behavior, and Ronaldo decides to 'prove' he's fit for the job. Maybe by successfully completing the errand. Though in this process he realizes that he was goofing around and he and Steven mend their relationship. Ronaldo decides to take the job as 'Crystal Gem' more seriously and moves back home so that he can continue studying and training out of the way.

Either of these would both allow Ronaldo to grow, make Steven realize the difference between friends and partners, and would give a more hopeful end to the episode. Instead... Ronaldo is a jerk who nobody respects and the episode just stops in the same place it started.

Or, also still, have the entire episode the same, but then when Steven calls out Ronaldo, have Ronaldo realize his mistake and actually apologize. It wouldn't fix the lack of jokes, or give the episode a real point, but at least I would feel a little better once the episode was over. That's something.

Final Thoughts:

While Ronaldo has a slew of poor episodes, Rocknaldo goes above and beyond to make Ronaldo even more unlikable. It doesn't manage to bring around any good or even new jokes, and is unable to do anything more than make a few basic references. The moral of the episode is shot and, while shows don't have to have morals, this one suffers from a lack of direction.

It's another example of using Steven as a sympathy card on us. After last week, it's hard to efficiently feel bad for Steven over something so little. Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst are only there because they have to be and don't really do anything except for the standard. Again, Ronaldo's character declines even further.

If there's any sort of reference in here towards foreshadowing... Then it's hard to care for it. The only thing close was mind controlling water, and something about that premise sounds just a little... Okay, I'll be blunt; I think mind control always falls into cheap plot developments. I'm not impressed. Though, again, it's hard to get excited about a show that has so many episodes like this.

Is Rocknaldo one of the worst episodes I've seen? Maybe, mostly because it has no payoff or legit use except character destruction. However, am I surprised to see it this season?... Not entirely. I sort of knew this was eventually coming. I may watch it again in the future, but only to poke fun of it and use it as an example of 'filler' in Steven Universe. Or, at least, a bad episodes.

Why I stopped reviewing Steven Universe:

SU is going down a path that I'm not interested in. The once fleshed out characters feel like they are reverting to 'just being there'. Or in Lapis and Peridot's cases, seem to become more unlikable every time I see them, rendering once interesting characters into broken joke machines.

Even Steven has gone from a genuinely nice and entertaining kid to constantly angsting. I get it, it's his age, but it's hard to watch a once bubbly but determined, fierce but caring, character devolve into one whose constantly lamenting about Rose. I don't just mean 'Storm in the Room' either. Remember that episode where the show averted tropes by having Steven be indifferent towards Rose, unable to cry for her, because he never got to know her?

Well, now he's constantly in a state of turmoil of the Rose. I know it's supposed to be character development, but he's not exactly developing. He's more 'stuck in the normal protagonist rut'. He's sharing an issue, a lament, and angst that tones of other protagonists share. I can't really help but feel less attached.

And now the worst has happened with plot-centric and slice-of-life episodes. Plot-centric episodes now drop hints, but don't exactly have a bang for their buck. Most of the time they are just present to suggest towards something more interesting that will eventually come to be.

Meanwhile, slice-of-life episodes no longer show much character development and interaction. This is because the show sometimes becomes afraid to break up the 'gem' unit.

Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst are always stuck together. Peridot and Lapis are always stuck together. So there's even fewer episodes where they break apart and bond with other people. How much better would 'The New Crystal Gems' have been if there were more humans and less Peridot and Lapis bickering. What if Lapis met Sadie and Lars? Would she actually be amused by Lars cynical nature? These could've been interesting interactions that the show is too scared to tell.

What if, in Rocknaldo, Ronaldo had private incidents with each of the gems that convinced him that he was not ready to join them? Instead of just annoying Steven, we see how each Gem would've reacted, felt, and how patient they would've been with him. Instead, they're stuck together.

What about Peridot and Ronaldo? These two have a lot of common interests, but how would they act if they were friends? What things would happen between them? Would they compete on the internet, or would they somehow be friendly with each other? We may never know this because, as it is, humans and gems barely interact unless Steven's playing a barrier between them.

On the whole, I've been getting more into Star vs. the Forces of Evil. While not as serious as Steven Universe, I find that I get a lot more entertainment out of it. More amusement, more obvious character transformations, and the plot is growing at a healthier rate. I can't wait until Season 3... Meanwhile, I almost missed last week's episode of SU.

What do I think would make the show better? More diverse character interactions, saving the cast from the character potholes they're stuck in, more fun episodes that don't need to rely on 'what's in', and more episodes of equal plot and slice-of-life. Like, why can't we get another Centipeedle episode? Or why can't the group talk about Jasper in an episode that doesn't involve her?

It's as though SU holds all of its aces close to its chest and deals them out spaciously, but recently has waited longer and longer in between these aces. I'm hoping maybe this season has just been a bore and it will eventually right itself, but as it is I find myself less interested in looking towards episodes. And, considering our last finale, I can't rightly say that I look forward to the finale either.

So that's all that I have to say here. I give Rocknaldo a rock out of Ronaldo; that should sum my feelings up exactly.

As for reviews... Meh, I don't know. I may eventually do more, but for now I find it hard to force myself to write an essay on a lackluster episode... Or a lackluster season.

Sun and Moon: Episode 3 and 4 Review

(Shockingly enough, Meowth's animated alright.)

Episode 3; and thus the animation slowly becomes more and more disgusting... Except this Meowth scene. This Meowth scene is actually good. I mean this:

(He basically does this for no reason. -.-)

But there are some (?) positives in this episode. First of all, Team Rocket has returned, which is a massive mixed bag. Jessie and James look hideous and seem to make bizarre gestures. Meowth, however, is apparently getting more of a character focus. I was actually pretty surprised, but Meowth's focus was definitely more obvious than Jessie or James.

I have a theory that this may be because of the Alolan Meowth. It may be possible that a character arc about Meowth may be planned, but it's much too early to tell. We also get to meet Mimikyu; an adorable ghost that the show seems to believe is creepy. He also hates Pikachu, which I originally thought was a mistranslation but seems to be the case.

I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing that Mimikyu it prepared to mop the floor with Pikachu, because I don't know what level it is at. Regardless, it is a relief to see Team Rocket get a competent Pokémon. Then there's Bewear... The pedo bear that isn't exactly interesting and eventually totes Jessie and James away.

Oh wow, that's a metaphor for Sun and Moon as a whole. The whole show would be better with just the Pokémon and not the humans. Meowth, Mimikyu, Wobuffet, and maybe Pikachu. They don't need any of these lame trainers holding them back.

(James and Jessie look really off... And poorly drawn. Again, notice Meowth looks animated better.)

And guess what? Ash just keeps getting worse. He's getting more stupid every minute, forgetting things that he should either know or basically understand, and he's pulling out even uglier faces with each passing minute. He is a train that has already derailed and now is skidding down a mountain, straight towards a fifty foot cliff. Pikachu is the imp that dislodged the train off the tracks.

All of Ash's classmates, or friends, are even more cumbersome than before. All of them were in this episode and none of them did anything. Only some had lines, none offered to help fight off Team Rocket (even considering the fight with Team Skull), and were wastes of animation. Each was shocked in unison, each smiled in unison. They were completely unneeded.

(My exact reaction during most of this.)

As interesting as the Rotom Dex concept is, and as inoffensive as the Dex is, they spend way too much time introducing it, introducing it to others, and explaining it to the audience. Just because Ash can't understand basic logic doesn't mean we can't. It's not like a whole new batch of viewers are watching this; it's the same people who watched X and Y. Also, there's a scene where Rotom is electrocuted and-... Isn't Rotom an electric type? I thought he'd be pretty fine with it. Inconsistent.

The more I think about it, the more that the thirty minutes felt like a lot of wasted fluff. Nothing happened, except Mimikyu, and we only came out with Team Rocket catching a Pokémon... Sort of.

(One last picture to show, again, Meowth's better animation.)

Episode 4 begins in the same fashion. Pikachu loses a battle to a much weaker Pokémon (he get hit-like-once), Lillie has another unfunny 'scared of Pokemon' scene, Team Rocket does some stuff, and so far I am absolutely not impressed. I expected another pathetic episode.

However, halfway through episode 4 actually irons out some of its problems and pulls around. The actual premise of the episode is that a Rowlet, who lives with the Toucanno that raised it and its family of Pikipeks and a Trumbeak, ends up weary and hungry and in the arms of Ash. Ash takes care of it, feeds it in an adorable scene, and it eventually takes a watermelon and leaves.

(Rowlet eating a banana is better animated than most facial expressions so far.)

Ash and Mallow, only one of his friends-thank goodness, head into the forest to find it. They realize that it's bringing back food to the others. However, they are all soon attacked by Team Rocket... Who are then carried off by Bewear. If Team Rocket's going to blast off by being carried away by a bear then this is pitiful. It's still blasting off predictably, just... Now with this boring bear.

The bear isn't threatening. The bear isn't even interesting. It's just another downfall of this thing.

(Wait, so... Did they just get away with stealing the berries?... Huh...)

However, back to the original story. Contrary to usual Pokémon stories where the odd Pokémon out would realize they were being taken advantage of and leave with Ash, Toucannon nudges Rowlet out of the nest and gives his blessing to him going with Ash. As such, Rowlet cuddles with Ash before being caught officially and joining the group.

Again, this shows how much better the Pokémon are to the humans, and how the animation on the Pokémon is better too. However, episode four does a lot more than the previous three in other ways. Firstly, they eventually do cut down the amount of people who are pointlessly running around with Ash, though Mallow being there is pointless, and manage to somewhat suppress Ash's stupidity towards the end.

(Literally the first time Ash actually made a good expression; this is a cute scene.)

The moments between the Pokémon and Rowlet's backstory are particularly well done. The Pokémon scenes themselves are particularly well done. The human stuff is garbage. (Wow, feels like I'm talking about Silver Eyes again.) Team Rocket had an okay moment, but I see them getting really boring really quickly if they don't shape up.

Lillie's got to go. After playing the game, I realize how much of a bas- of a misconstruction of the character this is. Lillie's character arc in the game, her strength and ability to grow, is not present here. Instead, Lillie is just whatever was leftover from Misty. They gave her a fear of Pokémon, that's it. I don't even know why it bothers me so much, but it does.

Also, I must insist that the show treating it viewers like they've never seen Pokémon before, even having Rotom explain to Ash how to catch a Pokémon, is unbelievably awful. If you were going to make this Pokémon for people who've A: Never seen Pokémon, B: Never played Pokémon, and C: Don't understand the basic rules of Pokémon, then you should make a Pokémon alternative for people who aren't two years old. Even at three, when I started watching Pokémon, I grasped these general concepts. Pokémon wasn't talking down to me.

And I don't count those five minute long Pokémon skits on YouTube as anything more than advertising. They don't last long enough to be satisfying and a few of them seem to fail in getting their story across. Yet they seem leagues ahead of this show.

(I was right; this did get annoying fast. Doesn't she have any other character?)

So episode four was the best episode so far, but even it was fraught with failures. Even at its best, Sun and Moon pales in comparison to not only past Pokémon episodes, but to many cartoons out on the market. At this point, if it wasn't Pokémon I suspect that people wouldn't be watching it.

Also might I just say that, for a cartoon claiming to dumb down because it's supposed to be funny, there's few jokes. Like, nothing funny happens in it. I don't mean my view of funny either; they barely do anything except talk and throw big expressions. It's not funny. It's a lazy excuse.

So... Well, four episodes in and am a little more confident. Even with three's flaws, both three and four improve dramatically over the first two episodes. At this point we just have to wait and see if it continues to improve before episode ten. I actually want this to succeed; it's not like I hate Sun and Moon and want it to crash and burn. I want to have a better viewer experience.

I'm a little more hopeful, but only slightly. If these two episodes could show anything, it was that the Pokémon are really the only positive of the show. Rowlet, Mimikyu, and even Meowth have brought in more life to a boring cast of cookie cut characters... And Ash, but we try to pretend he's not there.

I'll be back to review 5 and 6, or maybe just 5 if 6 isn't posted with it, when next week rolls around. Until then... Well, I'll be watching something better. *Looks at current line up of cartoons.* Okay, never mind. Apparently I won't.

REALLY WEIRD Fnaf Toys (Marionette's head balloon) + Mymoji

I didn't think that I was going to make another one of these. I really, really didn't think that I would get to do another one of these... But dear Creator, it happened. All because of this one photo.

...Now to not address the elephant in the room just yet, these figures have some familiar problems. Foxy is the wrong color, Chica's beak is weird, Bonnie's coloring is goofy, Freddy's face is goofed, Springtrap looks 'meh', and then there's this monstrosity;

This... Horrible display is what happens when Marionette and Balloon Boy clash in the worst way possible. This is Mari with a balloon of himself! What in the hell am I supposed to make of this? Good grief, this is a nightmare! Fittingly, the title of the set calls it the 'Nightmare Puppet'. Let me tell you, this is extremely accurate. This thing will be in my nightmares tonight.

It's almost worth buying for shock value. The others aren't impressive, but this is just- This is a conversation starter. I mean, look, it started this blog post! This blog post wouldn't exist without this nightmare!...Unless that's not a balloon, and Mari's reproducing by budding.... It looks close enough that I could believe it.

The next set is a set that I think I've seen before, but I looked through my posts and couldn't find it.

Okay, so let's start with Funtime Foxy whose wearing a bikini. Her coloring is pretty off and, on closer inspection, she looks closer to Crystal from Star Fox than Foxy. Freddy's the same one as before, just with a darker color scheme. Balloon Boy... I think I've seen him before.

Then we have some sort of Mangle that, ironically, manages to have a relatively normal body. We have Mangle with a mangled face and Back to the Future's Doc's hair. Then we have hangman Mari. Creepy body, creepy arms, creepy face, possibly has breasts, a noose, and is STILL nowhere near as scary as balloon head Mari above him.

Sorry, my dear puppet, but you'll have to try a bit harder.

So here's our security guards, on the left Jeff the Killer and on the right is what is obviously a terminator pretending to be a human. Look at that metal spike jutting out of that club hand; you're not fooling anyone, buddy! And now we can see why Jeremy always wears that Freddy mask. Woof!

What comes next is another Mari. One that looks relatively alright except for a few quirks.

So this doll, other than apparently being on fire (or glowing, it's hard to tell), is only slightly odd. The face is slightly off, but looks close enough, and it even comes with a second mask. What is weird is Mari's feet. The fact that Mari has feet is pretty confused anyway. It looks like a long toe was added on, as though to give the illusion of high heels.

Again, I've seen worse. I mean, look and the puppets we've seen so far; this one is the closest to being accurate. As a bonus, we get to see what Mari would look like without his face on.

"Just give me a second to put on my face."

So we've seen a lot of weird Mari merchandise today, but don't fret! We're finally getting actual Puppet merchandise with a Marionette plush... I don't know where the hell they're selling it, but it should be there somewhere. (Starting to think Amazon exclusive.)

However, we have a few more things to look at! One of which is yet another Marionette figure, but this one...

...Actually looks pretty good. I mean, it's definitely not perfect, but looking at it directly it doesn't seem like there's many massive faults. The painting is amiss, but I've come to expect that. The face looks okay, the body isn't grotesque, there's nothing really weird going on, and it even comes with a detachable stand.

The thing is, this one also claims to be a Mexican knock off. This begs the question of why this one is so good and so many of them are so awful looking, mispainted, or just goofy. This one could absolutely pass as the real deal. Heck, Puppet lovers with a lack of merchandise could probably buy this figure to show off.

I mean, it's not perfect, and the price is a little high, but I must congratulate whoever made this. Out of all of the knock off FNAF merchandise, especially the Marionette stuff, you actually provided something promising.

Continuing on, we have a Springtrap figure with an odd packaging quirk.

So the Springtrap isn't too out of the blue. Not too great, not the worst I've seen, purple on the face to show Purple Guy, and relatively a lack of anything too obvious... Until you see the packaging. It's a cluster of FNAF characters shoved together on a title-less cardboard seal.

...Now I thought it was weird that the Puppet was only half there. So I didn't notice that the end of the cardboard by the Puppet was obviously torn, not cut properly. I didn't notice until I stumbled upon another set of FNAF figures.

So, basically, instead of making different packaging for the single figures, they just cut their normal packaging in half. I find that remarkably strange. At this rate, why even sell one alone? The packaging's oddness doesn't stop there. Between the cluster of multiple Freddys and various other characters behind Puppet, there is a surprisingly blank spot on the far left that bothers me for some reason.

So the final thing I'll get to in this blog post is, ironically enough, actual merchandise that I wanted to talk about. Today I will be reviewing the Mymoji toys that are sold for FNAF. They come in bags that look like this:

So it's another 'random bag' product, right? What's the point of buying three bags and getting two Chicas and a Bonnie, right? Well, I was pleased to realize that the bags are not lined with anything. As such, you can get one of these bags, fondle it, and then know what character it is.

You won't know what face you will get, as each character has three faces, but you most likely will be able to figure out which character you're getting. Because of this, I suspect it is some of the faces that are harder to get, and not the characters in particular. As such, I was able to get a couple of Marionette heads for myself.

These are two of the three faces. After buying two more, and getting both of these again (which I consider lucky, I rather two sets of each than one of one and three of another) I believe it is the third face that is probably the elusive one to find.

Here's a picture:

I may try again to find this one, but I have a feeling I won't be able to without spending more than I'd like. XD

Anyway, the heads are made of a hard, sturdy plastic. They aren't rubbery; they're rock hard with molding and painting on the outside. The bottom has a slight flat spot so that you can sit them up for display. They work well and I don't have trouble with them rolling around. They also have some weight to them. I could see taking a couple of these and using them like those zen balls you roll in your hand for stress.

They're also adorable! The faces are printed on just nicely, with only a slight defect on the cheeks sometimes. The paint doesn't feel like it'll wear or chip anytime soon, but I wouldn't rub something sharp on it or anything. All in all, they don't feel cheap and they're quite adorable, so I would recommend getting one. Just buy one in person so you can feel over package and choose.

So that's it for now. Do I think I'll do another one of these?... Probably yes. Every time I say 'no', something insane appears on Ebay and I'm back here typing another blog post. After this point, I think I might start numbering them. Who knew FNAF would get so much weird merchandise!

(Yeah, I don't think Markiplier signed off on this.)

The Simpsons: Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus (Review)

...Why do I subject myself to this? Ugh, here we go again.

So the episode starts off in a pretty confused manner. It starts with the family looking for their car, then noticing the Landlard Donut statue is gone, then they get a new statue, then it destroys the town, and only then does the actual story finally occur. All of this former stuff is filler that isn't exactly funny. There's a thinker joke, but like many of the others in this episode it drags out too long.

Basically, in agreement to fix the town, Mr. Burns puts on a play at the Spingfield Bowl. Apparently he has a dark past when he performed as a child, and he becomes determined to make the perfect show. They show bits of this past, but don't reveal what actually happened until later on. He hires on Lisa as an assistant.

Meanwhile, Homer slacks at the Power Plant with all of his friends. Nothing really happens in this time.

Back to Burns and Lisa, Lisa mentions something about a cannon act being impossible and Mr. Burns ends the show right then. One comment and the show is abruptly over. Lisa goes after Mr. Burns and finds out the truth about how he was embarrassed at the show. She encourages him to start the show again, which he does.

Homer realizes that he has become too lazy and encourages the workers to go back to work.

The show begins with a few various acts. There's one or two cameos with various degrees of interest, but not really much to mention. Then there's a firework joke was actually sort of funny, but they drag it on too long. If she would've said, "Look, fireworks!" then it cut to people running from the plant, then immediately cut back to the show it would've managed itself a little better.

Then Burns gets on stage and there's an accident, resulting in the same thing happening as before. He blames Lisa, everyone disappears, and then suddenly he forgives Lisa once again. She plays her sax for him and Burns sits with Smithers, with one final joke.

So... To clarify, this is better than 'Every Man's Dream', but not by much. The episode is not cohesive and can't manage a story. By the end of it the ending seemed abrupt, because not much actually happened during it. To compare it to a different episode entirely, randomly, let's compare it to... That episode where Homer hires a detective to research Lisa. Just a random episode.

Lisa sees a diary commercial on TV and wants one for her birthday. Homer doesn't get there in time, so he gets her a tape instead that stars her and false information about her. She's distraught that he father doesn't know anything about her and gets angry. To become a better father, Homer hires a detective to get info. It works until the detective reveals a massive bill that Homer doesn't pay. In response, the detective frames Lisa, and she goes with Homer on the run. Eventually she finds out the truth and they are eventually cornered by the detective in a hall of mirrors. Homer reveals that he does remember some things about Lisa, who uses a laser pointer birthday gift to stop the detective. Lisa's proven innocent and Homer's closer with her.

Do you notice the difference? Firstly, there's an actual plot that doesn't bob around everywhere or go in confusing locations. Secondly, it uses what it has; there's a detective so they make jokes on detectives, on bad disguises, on being on the run, and on things that clearly apply to the episode. Mr. Burns' Fleeing Circus doesn't even really make any circus jokes or play around with the material.

Here's another example: One of the jokes is that Mr. Burns remembers everything perfectly. He then remembers his mother licking him like a dog...There's no punch, nothing kooky, nothing to show this is real or not... and they've made this joke before. In the episode where they legalize gambling, Homer says he remembers everything perfectly. He then remembers a clearly wrong scene with Marge having green hair, a lot of wrong people being there, and Homer himself being different. The joke is more precise and thus fits better.

Most jokes drag themselves out. Like a Youtuber doing a Johntron impression, stumbling over their words and restating the same word repeatedly like it's a joke. (Which it's not. It's a purposeful, unfunny stutter.) They continue to restate, add on, and occasionally return to old, failed jokes.

The problem is that the episode really has trouble with pacing. It spends a lot of its time trying to tell jokes, but it doesn't allow itself to set up for them at all, which means that most of the jokes appear suddenly and don't leave an impact. Simpsons, ironically enough, used to be a lot smarter. I guess it's because of its new kid audience that it's been dumbing it down... But kids aren't stupid.

This is just lazy writing. They stitched together a ton of parts in a shoddy ways and couldn't even make it funny. The 'jokes' are notoriously amateur, even for the Simpsons.

Homer's subplot is absolutely pointless. I'm not kidding; there's no reason for Homer even to have a subplot. If they took him out they would've had more time to tweak the main plot. The main plot needed that time too. The two parts that definitely needed more time were when Burns abruptly cancels the show, as it's so quick that it doesn't make much sense, and the ending.

Oh dear, that ending. How cold and emotionless. Simpsons has done emotions before. It has done emotions with Mr. Burns and Lisa before. So to have such an emotionally distant ending is a disgrace. Mr. Burns is embarrassed and mad at Lisa; at this point is when Lisa should do one of three things. She can call him out on his behavior, she can reveal to him how happy the audience is and how they just think it's a routine, or she can just comfort him. The second option seems most viable. Mr. Burns' pride is regained, as he can just say it was a clever performance meant to be funny, he gets over the past event, and Lisa gets off without punishment.

However, what does the episode do instead? It wusses out. Mr. Burns just 'forgets' and suddenly everything is A-Okay. Lisa plays his saxophone while he watches her and then it ends. Not only is this extremely anticlimactic, but is notoriously heartless. It knows it has the ability to do something nice, but instead wastes it. It doesn't even do a more cynical joke; it just gives up. As though the writers are just so bored with the episode that they ended it the quickest way they possibly could.

The only thing I can say positive is that this may have bored and underwhelmed me, but it didn't frustrate me like 'Every Man's Dream' managed to do. I came out of that feeling an actual sense of anger. Here... Underwhelmed, but unoffended. There's no bad morals, there's no shoe horned in characters who are badly written, it's not actually too cliché; it's lazy, but it is harmless enough.

Do I think this means the show is improving? Absolutely not. This is still extremely subpar for a show that's been running this long. It's shows like this that leave people wanting shows to end after a couple of seasons, desperately seeking a quick end so that the show doesn't become a stale monstrosity leeching off of its history, like this does.

I'm actually considering reviewing more episodes to see if they all have the same problem, which I may do, but for now I'll end with this:

Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus is one of the Simpson's weakest opening episodes ever. Considering that it is only slightly more tolerable than last season's, I take this as a bad sign for what's to come.

The Risk of Peridot becoming Flanderized

So I think another hiatus is coming. A lot of people are fine with it because of all the episodes were dropped; nice to see them becoming so cooperative, right? Maybe they're like me; I don't get enough of the high anymore to feel the withdrawals. Though this does give me the chance to write about something that I've been thinking of for a while now.

This is a concern about Steven Universe that has nudged at me more than once in the past. Even though the show is so known for how much different it acts over others, how well it writes characters, this seems like a very likely scenario. Really, Peridot is set up to fall into this rut, so the risk is obviously there. Though (the 'f' word) is very common in media these days.

Firstly, Peridot's drastic change in character was good, but is sometimes concerning if you consider how quickly she could change again. At first, Peridot was an interesting but not very fleshed out villain. Her real emotional core came during her change into a good guy, her redemption, which showed us more of Peridot's emotional side and taught her how her behavior effected others. Now, post that, Peridot's niche is turning into comic relief.

And I mean comic relief alone. If Beta, Earthlings, and Kindergarten Kid shows us anything, it is that Peridot is somewhat regressing. She spends most of her time being goofy, cracking jokes, and saying unintentionally offensive things to the others. In Beta and Kindergarten Kid, Peridot manages to insensitively offend Amethyst twice, and coming after 'Too Far' it comes off as a regression.

Peridot no longer is around to learn about the others, so she now is mostly there as a joke. Sometimes it works, like in Beta, but sometimes it's just too blunt, as in the Kindergarten Kid. Also, someone whose so intelligent tends to have more than a couple of stupid moments, which are only sometimes actually fun to watch.

Even after the Cluster, Peridot seems more unable to hold her own than ever. Currently, this is not a big problem, and Peridot is still enjoyable. I'm not saying she isn't. What I am saying is that Peridot is in the danger zone of flanderization. Take for example another quirky character who was well faceted, but sort of kooky; Jackie from Roseanne.

Peridot and Jackie share a lot of similarities. They are both smart but have their clueless moments. They are somewhat independent, but show dependent traits in times of need. They are mostly comic relief, but have a lot of heart as well. They also are close, like a sibling and a sibling, to the main character. This allows them to come along to learn the moral.

Though we all know what happened to Jackie. She went from being a strong character to being a babbling idiot, barely able to form a functional sentence, only there to cause problems and to point and laugh at when they fail. Like for example; in one episode, Jackie, who is incredibly close to Roseanne, has a total fit where she says that Roseanne is a bad mother and all her kids are failures... But why this is so weird is because it's literally because she gave a kid a cookie.

It seems unbelievable that someone as close to her as Jackie would get so extreme over something so nonsensical. It's strictly to cause a rift, and to again laugh when Jackie can't even get through an insult without dragging out a five minute long 'she's a moron who can't talk' joke.

See, because Jackie turned into something of a fool. Giggling and babbling for the camera, cause conflict when it needed it, barely able to stand on her own. She also never seemed to be doing anything. In the beginning, Jackie had jobs, had hobbies, went out a lot, and lived a full life. By the end, Jackie did nothing except appear when plot demanded it. She no longer had any outside life.

So how does this apply to Peridot? Well, Peridot could easily drop into this same trap. Consider this; when Peridot first started getting used to the group she was offensive, unafraid to hurt their feelings, and distant. She got closer to them over time. The Amethyst comparison is most important as 'Too Far' was a big character moment for Peridot. Peridot learned she could hurt people's feelings and that it made her feel bad too. Or feel 'small'.

By 'Kindergarten Kid', Peridot slipped back into her old behavior. She knows Amethyst is upset, Steven mentioned it before, but still is unashamed of talking against the Crystal Gems like their relationship has suddenly deteriorated. While one may say it's just Peridot 'being Peridot', I could see this going in a bad direction. Right now it's fine, but imagine this:

Peridot appears in episodes strictly to crack jokes about the other Gems and makes a fool out of herself. She starts throwing bigger and bigger tantrums whenever she's shown, incapable of being able to keep an even tone at all. She also loses the rest of her intelligence and is barely able to do anything without Steven, Lapis, or the Crystal Gems guiding her. Whenever she's around she's followed by a constant slew of 'shipping' and 'Camp Pining Hearts' references, even when it doesn't apply. Her statements are all jokes, unable to converse without a punchline being shoed in. All the while, Peridot becomes less and less competent.

And then flanderization sets in. It's so easy, you know? And it's not like Steven Universe is 'so good' that it can't unintentionally do this. Guess what other shows were great, but eventually suffered from flanderization; SpongeBob, Simpsons, and Roseanne. All of these shows did have a time where they were great, but then characters started to falter. SpongeBob, Patrick, Homer Simpson, Ned Flanders, Mark, Jackie...

Do I think that everyone on Steven Universe will fall into the trap? No. I think, at the worst case, Peridot's character will simply suffer from this pattern of writing. Do I think she will become flanderized? I don't know. I mean, I thought SpongeBob was great, I though Homer Simpson was a decent father, I thought Jackie was the cool one- Peridot could join this list.

Or maybe the episode just reverted her for the Looney Tunes reference... I use reference lightly, because when you do the exact same thing it's not exactly a reference. I don't know, but I hope that Peridot doesn't continue this trend or we might be heading down the same path that we've seen many times before. Even with Peridot demoted to a side character, it would be a shame...

And for the love of stars, would it kill you to give Peridot an actual weapon again?!