Firstly, this is clearly a set of FNAF toys based on Minecraft. From the blocky bodies, to the weapons, it is clearly Minecraft. The set comes with Foxy, Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie in standard bodies and the Marionette in a sort of Enderman looking one. Marionette seems to also have a Yume Nikki or Undertale Gaster thing going on with his face. Though the box mistakenly says that it is a six pack when there are obviously only five characters. The Minecraft weapons seem really out of place, but I think it's the coloring.
The box is interesting because, most of the time, it looks good enough... Though a little confused. The picture on the top right looks pretty good, but for some reason is in front of Freddy in the middle. There's a weird earless Bonnie in the back left and for whatever reason, Freddy and Chica look scared of... A security guard? I don't know, it's behind Marionette and looks awfully stubby, whatever it is... The boxart is seriously confused, but they are at least still all FNAF characters. That's a plus.
Also, the product name is: Teddy Bear Midnight harem doll building blocks... I'm not kidding. Taking this title apart makes slightly more since. Teddy Bear is Freddy, Midnight could be the night part, they're dolls, and building blocks would be minecraft... But harem? Okay, looking at the exact definition of harem, to see if there's a different meaning than the one I immediately thought of, a harem is basically a group of women. I see one female character here. Where did this become a Harem?!
I mean, Bonnie kind of has a girl's name, and Foxy's also sort of a girl's name, and Marionette wears makeup... Oh wait... So that's the real mystery behind Freddy's, the mystery of how Freddy singlehandedly acquired a harem.
This toy is currently on bid for $5 with no shipping... So the price is pretty low if you want it. What you see is what you get, but having a harem is worth any price. Onto the next thing!
This pack came in a plastic bag with a tiny tag on it. Oddly enough, the tag has pictures of the tiny licensed toys that you can buy; the ones in the small boxes. The toys themselves look... Odd. Firstly, Freddy is absent. The only version of Freddy is Golden Freddy. Instead, there is an Endoskeleton. They have stands that they can pop off of, but the stands aren't really fit for them.
Golden Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica look okay enough. The Endoskeleton is a little tooo big... But it's Spring Trap and Foxy that are weird. Springtrap has pink feet, an oddly shaped head, and is bright yellow. Then there's Foxy... Who is clearly wearing a pink shirt. You can see it in this picture. That's clearly just a pink shirt instead of... You know, no pink shirt.
Next we have a set of bobble heads that might be familiar.
You may recognize these as the mystery figures that I mentioned earlier, with a few changes. Firstly, you may notice the long necks with springs around them. I think these may be bobble heads of some kind, but I don't know if they work. All of the coloring is askew, especially BB who I said would probably be the worst. Once again, the stands do not fit, and they have holes on the top for keychains that they don't have. Other than that, they look pretty close to the originals... Except Marionette.
Marionette's got the strangest red face paint here... And it actually works. If not for the weird spring, the hole, and the awkward stand I would think he looks pretty cool. But I could repaint a normal, legit keychain and get one. I don't recommend these when they're basically repaints of official merchandise.
This lot is another strange one. The characters look to be made of clay and don't seem to have articulation. It's a really mixed bag; some of these look good, some look bad, but the biggest problem is definitely the painting. The painting is really inconsistent. While from afar it looks good, the closer you get the more splotches you find. Another problem is the doubling of characters. Look, you can clearly see three Chicas that look almost identical!
I like the tiny Puppet, but this picture really shows the somewhat shoddy painting job. The articulation is clearly missing here too. They aren't that bad and they are cheaper than the TF2 lot, running at $85 with $32 shipping... But the painting and lack of articulation is a total turn off, especially when it's this expensive.
This next one is very similar to these... But there's one big, BIG difference.
More clay looking figures... Except that these dilapidated looking figures are painted odd colors and some have strange faces. Again, BB stands out as one of the ones painted least similarly to his normal form. Though you probably notice the big, rainbow glowing Freddy in the back. It looks enough like Freddy, but seems to have this mechanism to glow that you may remember from the Marionette in the last series of FNAF toys. I don't know why so many of these have this rainbow light feature, but the toys do look similar enough.
Then there's Golden Freddy and Marionette.
At first I thought that was Golden Bonnie's arm around Marionette's waist. That would've been a weird twist. Instead, Goldie and Mari look quite terrifying. Interesting... But the confused bunch is certainly even more confused than the last one! Look at Chica's chainsaw there; that's insanity. It again runs at $87 with shipping and... No, I just don't know about these. Maybe if they came alone I would buy these two, and they would have to be cheap. This is definitely the most unnerving Puppet of the group.
Now we are onto a very strange set of toys. Because this next set contains both toys and extra stuff... And this stuff holds something a bit concerning. Here we go...
Of course all of these are bootlegs, but the arm on them is questionable. Obviously these images aren't all from the game, you can see that they aren't. Some of them look slightly suggestive, some are game pictures, some are cartoon versions of Foxy, and one is...
...Is that Popgoes the Weasel?
Okay, if you don't know, Popgoes the Weasel is a fancharacter in the game Popgoes. The game was recently released, had an arcade teaser, and also has a (punny) connection with the Puppet. Maybe I'm wrong, but that looks like Popgoes, and that means that not only fanworks, but fancharacters are being used to sell fake merchandise. That's... Pretty dirty. Dirty pool, Mister. Dirty Pool.
I also have no idea what the surprise toy is.
The next toy is actually a game instead of figures. It's a lottery, I'm not sure how you play a lottery game, but it's another item where the packaging is the best part of the package... So I'll show the game first.
I'm guessing a 'lottery' is like a bingo game. It comes with cards and a picture covered board. The pictures are mostly from the games, which is better than the game before. Though there's a strange picture on the top left of Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie sleeping together. I'm not too sure why this is, but the picture isn't taken fanart at least. Instead, it looks like it was posed in SFM or something similar... Then comes the picture above, that I waited to show...
So, no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Seriously, what? Freddy's got an arm around Mangle, Mangle is against him, Bonnie and Chica are coddling and sending each other romantic looks, and Puppet is holding onto Bonnie's head and giving the peace sign with some really weird shaped find fingers. Friendly Nights at Freddy's? Five Nights with Friends? I don't know, I just get a friends vibe here. It's... Baffling. This is another one that announces it is a bootleg, but this is- Look at this.
I have to end it here. Like with FNAF's TF2 impression, I can't go on past this. Nothing will top this picture, I already know that now. So for now I'll bring this post to a close with a promise to find more weird toys in the future! Believe me, I know I will.
(Even the humans are glowing!)
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