Sun and Moon: Episode 3 and 4 Review

(Shockingly enough, Meowth's animated alright.)

Episode 3; and thus the animation slowly becomes more and more disgusting... Except this Meowth scene. This Meowth scene is actually good. I mean this:

(He basically does this for no reason. -.-)

But there are some (?) positives in this episode. First of all, Team Rocket has returned, which is a massive mixed bag. Jessie and James look hideous and seem to make bizarre gestures. Meowth, however, is apparently getting more of a character focus. I was actually pretty surprised, but Meowth's focus was definitely more obvious than Jessie or James.

I have a theory that this may be because of the Alolan Meowth. It may be possible that a character arc about Meowth may be planned, but it's much too early to tell. We also get to meet Mimikyu; an adorable ghost that the show seems to believe is creepy. He also hates Pikachu, which I originally thought was a mistranslation but seems to be the case.

I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing that Mimikyu it prepared to mop the floor with Pikachu, because I don't know what level it is at. Regardless, it is a relief to see Team Rocket get a competent Pokémon. Then there's Bewear... The pedo bear that isn't exactly interesting and eventually totes Jessie and James away.

Oh wow, that's a metaphor for Sun and Moon as a whole. The whole show would be better with just the Pokémon and not the humans. Meowth, Mimikyu, Wobuffet, and maybe Pikachu. They don't need any of these lame trainers holding them back.

(James and Jessie look really off... And poorly drawn. Again, notice Meowth looks animated better.)

And guess what? Ash just keeps getting worse. He's getting more stupid every minute, forgetting things that he should either know or basically understand, and he's pulling out even uglier faces with each passing minute. He is a train that has already derailed and now is skidding down a mountain, straight towards a fifty foot cliff. Pikachu is the imp that dislodged the train off the tracks.

All of Ash's classmates, or friends, are even more cumbersome than before. All of them were in this episode and none of them did anything. Only some had lines, none offered to help fight off Team Rocket (even considering the fight with Team Skull), and were wastes of animation. Each was shocked in unison, each smiled in unison. They were completely unneeded.

(My exact reaction during most of this.)

As interesting as the Rotom Dex concept is, and as inoffensive as the Dex is, they spend way too much time introducing it, introducing it to others, and explaining it to the audience. Just because Ash can't understand basic logic doesn't mean we can't. It's not like a whole new batch of viewers are watching this; it's the same people who watched X and Y. Also, there's a scene where Rotom is electrocuted and-... Isn't Rotom an electric type? I thought he'd be pretty fine with it. Inconsistent.

The more I think about it, the more that the thirty minutes felt like a lot of wasted fluff. Nothing happened, except Mimikyu, and we only came out with Team Rocket catching a Pokémon... Sort of.

(One last picture to show, again, Meowth's better animation.)

Episode 4 begins in the same fashion. Pikachu loses a battle to a much weaker Pokémon (he get hit-like-once), Lillie has another unfunny 'scared of Pokemon' scene, Team Rocket does some stuff, and so far I am absolutely not impressed. I expected another pathetic episode.

However, halfway through episode 4 actually irons out some of its problems and pulls around. The actual premise of the episode is that a Rowlet, who lives with the Toucanno that raised it and its family of Pikipeks and a Trumbeak, ends up weary and hungry and in the arms of Ash. Ash takes care of it, feeds it in an adorable scene, and it eventually takes a watermelon and leaves.

(Rowlet eating a banana is better animated than most facial expressions so far.)

Ash and Mallow, only one of his friends-thank goodness, head into the forest to find it. They realize that it's bringing back food to the others. However, they are all soon attacked by Team Rocket... Who are then carried off by Bewear. If Team Rocket's going to blast off by being carried away by a bear then this is pitiful. It's still blasting off predictably, just... Now with this boring bear.

The bear isn't threatening. The bear isn't even interesting. It's just another downfall of this thing.

(Wait, so... Did they just get away with stealing the berries?... Huh...)

However, back to the original story. Contrary to usual Pokémon stories where the odd Pokémon out would realize they were being taken advantage of and leave with Ash, Toucannon nudges Rowlet out of the nest and gives his blessing to him going with Ash. As such, Rowlet cuddles with Ash before being caught officially and joining the group.

Again, this shows how much better the Pokémon are to the humans, and how the animation on the Pokémon is better too. However, episode four does a lot more than the previous three in other ways. Firstly, they eventually do cut down the amount of people who are pointlessly running around with Ash, though Mallow being there is pointless, and manage to somewhat suppress Ash's stupidity towards the end.

(Literally the first time Ash actually made a good expression; this is a cute scene.)

The moments between the Pokémon and Rowlet's backstory are particularly well done. The Pokémon scenes themselves are particularly well done. The human stuff is garbage. (Wow, feels like I'm talking about Silver Eyes again.) Team Rocket had an okay moment, but I see them getting really boring really quickly if they don't shape up.

Lillie's got to go. After playing the game, I realize how much of a bas- of a misconstruction of the character this is. Lillie's character arc in the game, her strength and ability to grow, is not present here. Instead, Lillie is just whatever was leftover from Misty. They gave her a fear of Pokémon, that's it. I don't even know why it bothers me so much, but it does.

Also, I must insist that the show treating it viewers like they've never seen Pokémon before, even having Rotom explain to Ash how to catch a Pokémon, is unbelievably awful. If you were going to make this Pokémon for people who've A: Never seen Pokémon, B: Never played Pokémon, and C: Don't understand the basic rules of Pokémon, then you should make a Pokémon alternative for people who aren't two years old. Even at three, when I started watching Pokémon, I grasped these general concepts. Pokémon wasn't talking down to me.

And I don't count those five minute long Pokémon skits on YouTube as anything more than advertising. They don't last long enough to be satisfying and a few of them seem to fail in getting their story across. Yet they seem leagues ahead of this show.

(I was right; this did get annoying fast. Doesn't she have any other character?)

So episode four was the best episode so far, but even it was fraught with failures. Even at its best, Sun and Moon pales in comparison to not only past Pokémon episodes, but to many cartoons out on the market. At this point, if it wasn't Pokémon I suspect that people wouldn't be watching it.

Also might I just say that, for a cartoon claiming to dumb down because it's supposed to be funny, there's few jokes. Like, nothing funny happens in it. I don't mean my view of funny either; they barely do anything except talk and throw big expressions. It's not funny. It's a lazy excuse.

So... Well, four episodes in and am a little more confident. Even with three's flaws, both three and four improve dramatically over the first two episodes. At this point we just have to wait and see if it continues to improve before episode ten. I actually want this to succeed; it's not like I hate Sun and Moon and want it to crash and burn. I want to have a better viewer experience.

I'm a little more hopeful, but only slightly. If these two episodes could show anything, it was that the Pokémon are really the only positive of the show. Rowlet, Mimikyu, and even Meowth have brought in more life to a boring cast of cookie cut characters... And Ash, but we try to pretend he's not there.

I'll be back to review 5 and 6, or maybe just 5 if 6 isn't posted with it, when next week rolls around. Until then... Well, I'll be watching something better. *Looks at current line up of cartoons.* Okay, never mind. Apparently I won't.

REALLY WEIRD Fnaf Toys (Marionette's head balloon) + Mymoji

I didn't think that I was going to make another one of these. I really, really didn't think that I would get to do another one of these... But dear Creator, it happened. All because of this one photo.

...Now to not address the elephant in the room just yet, these figures have some familiar problems. Foxy is the wrong color, Chica's beak is weird, Bonnie's coloring is goofy, Freddy's face is goofed, Springtrap looks 'meh', and then there's this monstrosity;

This... Horrible display is what happens when Marionette and Balloon Boy clash in the worst way possible. This is Mari with a balloon of himself! What in the hell am I supposed to make of this? Good grief, this is a nightmare! Fittingly, the title of the set calls it the 'Nightmare Puppet'. Let me tell you, this is extremely accurate. This thing will be in my nightmares tonight.

It's almost worth buying for shock value. The others aren't impressive, but this is just- This is a conversation starter. I mean, look, it started this blog post! This blog post wouldn't exist without this nightmare!...Unless that's not a balloon, and Mari's reproducing by budding.... It looks close enough that I could believe it.

The next set is a set that I think I've seen before, but I looked through my posts and couldn't find it.

Okay, so let's start with Funtime Foxy whose wearing a bikini. Her coloring is pretty off and, on closer inspection, she looks closer to Crystal from Star Fox than Foxy. Freddy's the same one as before, just with a darker color scheme. Balloon Boy... I think I've seen him before.

Then we have some sort of Mangle that, ironically, manages to have a relatively normal body. We have Mangle with a mangled face and Back to the Future's Doc's hair. Then we have hangman Mari. Creepy body, creepy arms, creepy face, possibly has breasts, a noose, and is STILL nowhere near as scary as balloon head Mari above him.

Sorry, my dear puppet, but you'll have to try a bit harder.

So here's our security guards, on the left Jeff the Killer and on the right is what is obviously a terminator pretending to be a human. Look at that metal spike jutting out of that club hand; you're not fooling anyone, buddy! And now we can see why Jeremy always wears that Freddy mask. Woof!

What comes next is another Mari. One that looks relatively alright except for a few quirks.

So this doll, other than apparently being on fire (or glowing, it's hard to tell), is only slightly odd. The face is slightly off, but looks close enough, and it even comes with a second mask. What is weird is Mari's feet. The fact that Mari has feet is pretty confused anyway. It looks like a long toe was added on, as though to give the illusion of high heels.

Again, I've seen worse. I mean, look and the puppets we've seen so far; this one is the closest to being accurate. As a bonus, we get to see what Mari would look like without his face on.

"Just give me a second to put on my face."

So we've seen a lot of weird Mari merchandise today, but don't fret! We're finally getting actual Puppet merchandise with a Marionette plush... I don't know where the hell they're selling it, but it should be there somewhere. (Starting to think Amazon exclusive.)

However, we have a few more things to look at! One of which is yet another Marionette figure, but this one...

...Actually looks pretty good. I mean, it's definitely not perfect, but looking at it directly it doesn't seem like there's many massive faults. The painting is amiss, but I've come to expect that. The face looks okay, the body isn't grotesque, there's nothing really weird going on, and it even comes with a detachable stand.

The thing is, this one also claims to be a Mexican knock off. This begs the question of why this one is so good and so many of them are so awful looking, mispainted, or just goofy. This one could absolutely pass as the real deal. Heck, Puppet lovers with a lack of merchandise could probably buy this figure to show off.

I mean, it's not perfect, and the price is a little high, but I must congratulate whoever made this. Out of all of the knock off FNAF merchandise, especially the Marionette stuff, you actually provided something promising.

Continuing on, we have a Springtrap figure with an odd packaging quirk.

So the Springtrap isn't too out of the blue. Not too great, not the worst I've seen, purple on the face to show Purple Guy, and relatively a lack of anything too obvious... Until you see the packaging. It's a cluster of FNAF characters shoved together on a title-less cardboard seal.

...Now I thought it was weird that the Puppet was only half there. So I didn't notice that the end of the cardboard by the Puppet was obviously torn, not cut properly. I didn't notice until I stumbled upon another set of FNAF figures.

So, basically, instead of making different packaging for the single figures, they just cut their normal packaging in half. I find that remarkably strange. At this rate, why even sell one alone? The packaging's oddness doesn't stop there. Between the cluster of multiple Freddys and various other characters behind Puppet, there is a surprisingly blank spot on the far left that bothers me for some reason.

So the final thing I'll get to in this blog post is, ironically enough, actual merchandise that I wanted to talk about. Today I will be reviewing the Mymoji toys that are sold for FNAF. They come in bags that look like this:

So it's another 'random bag' product, right? What's the point of buying three bags and getting two Chicas and a Bonnie, right? Well, I was pleased to realize that the bags are not lined with anything. As such, you can get one of these bags, fondle it, and then know what character it is.

You won't know what face you will get, as each character has three faces, but you most likely will be able to figure out which character you're getting. Because of this, I suspect it is some of the faces that are harder to get, and not the characters in particular. As such, I was able to get a couple of Marionette heads for myself.

These are two of the three faces. After buying two more, and getting both of these again (which I consider lucky, I rather two sets of each than one of one and three of another) I believe it is the third face that is probably the elusive one to find.

Here's a picture:

I may try again to find this one, but I have a feeling I won't be able to without spending more than I'd like. XD

Anyway, the heads are made of a hard, sturdy plastic. They aren't rubbery; they're rock hard with molding and painting on the outside. The bottom has a slight flat spot so that you can sit them up for display. They work well and I don't have trouble with them rolling around. They also have some weight to them. I could see taking a couple of these and using them like those zen balls you roll in your hand for stress.

They're also adorable! The faces are printed on just nicely, with only a slight defect on the cheeks sometimes. The paint doesn't feel like it'll wear or chip anytime soon, but I wouldn't rub something sharp on it or anything. All in all, they don't feel cheap and they're quite adorable, so I would recommend getting one. Just buy one in person so you can feel over package and choose.

So that's it for now. Do I think I'll do another one of these?... Probably yes. Every time I say 'no', something insane appears on Ebay and I'm back here typing another blog post. After this point, I think I might start numbering them. Who knew FNAF would get so much weird merchandise!

(Yeah, I don't think Markiplier signed off on this.)

The Simpsons: Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus (Review)

...Why do I subject myself to this? Ugh, here we go again.

So the episode starts off in a pretty confused manner. It starts with the family looking for their car, then noticing the Landlard Donut statue is gone, then they get a new statue, then it destroys the town, and only then does the actual story finally occur. All of this former stuff is filler that isn't exactly funny. There's a thinker joke, but like many of the others in this episode it drags out too long.

Basically, in agreement to fix the town, Mr. Burns puts on a play at the Spingfield Bowl. Apparently he has a dark past when he performed as a child, and he becomes determined to make the perfect show. They show bits of this past, but don't reveal what actually happened until later on. He hires on Lisa as an assistant.

Meanwhile, Homer slacks at the Power Plant with all of his friends. Nothing really happens in this time.

Back to Burns and Lisa, Lisa mentions something about a cannon act being impossible and Mr. Burns ends the show right then. One comment and the show is abruptly over. Lisa goes after Mr. Burns and finds out the truth about how he was embarrassed at the show. She encourages him to start the show again, which he does.

Homer realizes that he has become too lazy and encourages the workers to go back to work.

The show begins with a few various acts. There's one or two cameos with various degrees of interest, but not really much to mention. Then there's a firework joke was actually sort of funny, but they drag it on too long. If she would've said, "Look, fireworks!" then it cut to people running from the plant, then immediately cut back to the show it would've managed itself a little better.

Then Burns gets on stage and there's an accident, resulting in the same thing happening as before. He blames Lisa, everyone disappears, and then suddenly he forgives Lisa once again. She plays her sax for him and Burns sits with Smithers, with one final joke.

So... To clarify, this is better than 'Every Man's Dream', but not by much. The episode is not cohesive and can't manage a story. By the end of it the ending seemed abrupt, because not much actually happened during it. To compare it to a different episode entirely, randomly, let's compare it to... That episode where Homer hires a detective to research Lisa. Just a random episode.

Lisa sees a diary commercial on TV and wants one for her birthday. Homer doesn't get there in time, so he gets her a tape instead that stars her and false information about her. She's distraught that he father doesn't know anything about her and gets angry. To become a better father, Homer hires a detective to get info. It works until the detective reveals a massive bill that Homer doesn't pay. In response, the detective frames Lisa, and she goes with Homer on the run. Eventually she finds out the truth and they are eventually cornered by the detective in a hall of mirrors. Homer reveals that he does remember some things about Lisa, who uses a laser pointer birthday gift to stop the detective. Lisa's proven innocent and Homer's closer with her.

Do you notice the difference? Firstly, there's an actual plot that doesn't bob around everywhere or go in confusing locations. Secondly, it uses what it has; there's a detective so they make jokes on detectives, on bad disguises, on being on the run, and on things that clearly apply to the episode. Mr. Burns' Fleeing Circus doesn't even really make any circus jokes or play around with the material.

Here's another example: One of the jokes is that Mr. Burns remembers everything perfectly. He then remembers his mother licking him like a dog...There's no punch, nothing kooky, nothing to show this is real or not... and they've made this joke before. In the episode where they legalize gambling, Homer says he remembers everything perfectly. He then remembers a clearly wrong scene with Marge having green hair, a lot of wrong people being there, and Homer himself being different. The joke is more precise and thus fits better.

Most jokes drag themselves out. Like a Youtuber doing a Johntron impression, stumbling over their words and restating the same word repeatedly like it's a joke. (Which it's not. It's a purposeful, unfunny stutter.) They continue to restate, add on, and occasionally return to old, failed jokes.

The problem is that the episode really has trouble with pacing. It spends a lot of its time trying to tell jokes, but it doesn't allow itself to set up for them at all, which means that most of the jokes appear suddenly and don't leave an impact. Simpsons, ironically enough, used to be a lot smarter. I guess it's because of its new kid audience that it's been dumbing it down... But kids aren't stupid.

This is just lazy writing. They stitched together a ton of parts in a shoddy ways and couldn't even make it funny. The 'jokes' are notoriously amateur, even for the Simpsons.

Homer's subplot is absolutely pointless. I'm not kidding; there's no reason for Homer even to have a subplot. If they took him out they would've had more time to tweak the main plot. The main plot needed that time too. The two parts that definitely needed more time were when Burns abruptly cancels the show, as it's so quick that it doesn't make much sense, and the ending.

Oh dear, that ending. How cold and emotionless. Simpsons has done emotions before. It has done emotions with Mr. Burns and Lisa before. So to have such an emotionally distant ending is a disgrace. Mr. Burns is embarrassed and mad at Lisa; at this point is when Lisa should do one of three things. She can call him out on his behavior, she can reveal to him how happy the audience is and how they just think it's a routine, or she can just comfort him. The second option seems most viable. Mr. Burns' pride is regained, as he can just say it was a clever performance meant to be funny, he gets over the past event, and Lisa gets off without punishment.

However, what does the episode do instead? It wusses out. Mr. Burns just 'forgets' and suddenly everything is A-Okay. Lisa plays his saxophone while he watches her and then it ends. Not only is this extremely anticlimactic, but is notoriously heartless. It knows it has the ability to do something nice, but instead wastes it. It doesn't even do a more cynical joke; it just gives up. As though the writers are just so bored with the episode that they ended it the quickest way they possibly could.

The only thing I can say positive is that this may have bored and underwhelmed me, but it didn't frustrate me like 'Every Man's Dream' managed to do. I came out of that feeling an actual sense of anger. Here... Underwhelmed, but unoffended. There's no bad morals, there's no shoe horned in characters who are badly written, it's not actually too cliché; it's lazy, but it is harmless enough.

Do I think this means the show is improving? Absolutely not. This is still extremely subpar for a show that's been running this long. It's shows like this that leave people wanting shows to end after a couple of seasons, desperately seeking a quick end so that the show doesn't become a stale monstrosity leeching off of its history, like this does.

I'm actually considering reviewing more episodes to see if they all have the same problem, which I may do, but for now I'll end with this:

Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus is one of the Simpson's weakest opening episodes ever. Considering that it is only slightly more tolerable than last season's, I take this as a bad sign for what's to come.

The Risk of Peridot becoming Flanderized

So I think another hiatus is coming. A lot of people are fine with it because of all the episodes were dropped; nice to see them becoming so cooperative, right? Maybe they're like me; I don't get enough of the high anymore to feel the withdrawals. Though this does give me the chance to write about something that I've been thinking of for a while now.

This is a concern about Steven Universe that has nudged at me more than once in the past. Even though the show is so known for how much different it acts over others, how well it writes characters, this seems like a very likely scenario. Really, Peridot is set up to fall into this rut, so the risk is obviously there. Though (the 'f' word) is very common in media these days.

Firstly, Peridot's drastic change in character was good, but is sometimes concerning if you consider how quickly she could change again. At first, Peridot was an interesting but not very fleshed out villain. Her real emotional core came during her change into a good guy, her redemption, which showed us more of Peridot's emotional side and taught her how her behavior effected others. Now, post that, Peridot's niche is turning into comic relief.

And I mean comic relief alone. If Beta, Earthlings, and Kindergarten Kid shows us anything, it is that Peridot is somewhat regressing. She spends most of her time being goofy, cracking jokes, and saying unintentionally offensive things to the others. In Beta and Kindergarten Kid, Peridot manages to insensitively offend Amethyst twice, and coming after 'Too Far' it comes off as a regression.

Peridot no longer is around to learn about the others, so she now is mostly there as a joke. Sometimes it works, like in Beta, but sometimes it's just too blunt, as in the Kindergarten Kid. Also, someone whose so intelligent tends to have more than a couple of stupid moments, which are only sometimes actually fun to watch.

Even after the Cluster, Peridot seems more unable to hold her own than ever. Currently, this is not a big problem, and Peridot is still enjoyable. I'm not saying she isn't. What I am saying is that Peridot is in the danger zone of flanderization. Take for example another quirky character who was well faceted, but sort of kooky; Jackie from Roseanne.

Peridot and Jackie share a lot of similarities. They are both smart but have their clueless moments. They are somewhat independent, but show dependent traits in times of need. They are mostly comic relief, but have a lot of heart as well. They also are close, like a sibling and a sibling, to the main character. This allows them to come along to learn the moral.

Though we all know what happened to Jackie. She went from being a strong character to being a babbling idiot, barely able to form a functional sentence, only there to cause problems and to point and laugh at when they fail. Like for example; in one episode, Jackie, who is incredibly close to Roseanne, has a total fit where she says that Roseanne is a bad mother and all her kids are failures... But why this is so weird is because it's literally because she gave a kid a cookie.

It seems unbelievable that someone as close to her as Jackie would get so extreme over something so nonsensical. It's strictly to cause a rift, and to again laugh when Jackie can't even get through an insult without dragging out a five minute long 'she's a moron who can't talk' joke.

See, because Jackie turned into something of a fool. Giggling and babbling for the camera, cause conflict when it needed it, barely able to stand on her own. She also never seemed to be doing anything. In the beginning, Jackie had jobs, had hobbies, went out a lot, and lived a full life. By the end, Jackie did nothing except appear when plot demanded it. She no longer had any outside life.

So how does this apply to Peridot? Well, Peridot could easily drop into this same trap. Consider this; when Peridot first started getting used to the group she was offensive, unafraid to hurt their feelings, and distant. She got closer to them over time. The Amethyst comparison is most important as 'Too Far' was a big character moment for Peridot. Peridot learned she could hurt people's feelings and that it made her feel bad too. Or feel 'small'.

By 'Kindergarten Kid', Peridot slipped back into her old behavior. She knows Amethyst is upset, Steven mentioned it before, but still is unashamed of talking against the Crystal Gems like their relationship has suddenly deteriorated. While one may say it's just Peridot 'being Peridot', I could see this going in a bad direction. Right now it's fine, but imagine this:

Peridot appears in episodes strictly to crack jokes about the other Gems and makes a fool out of herself. She starts throwing bigger and bigger tantrums whenever she's shown, incapable of being able to keep an even tone at all. She also loses the rest of her intelligence and is barely able to do anything without Steven, Lapis, or the Crystal Gems guiding her. Whenever she's around she's followed by a constant slew of 'shipping' and 'Camp Pining Hearts' references, even when it doesn't apply. Her statements are all jokes, unable to converse without a punchline being shoed in. All the while, Peridot becomes less and less competent.

And then flanderization sets in. It's so easy, you know? And it's not like Steven Universe is 'so good' that it can't unintentionally do this. Guess what other shows were great, but eventually suffered from flanderization; SpongeBob, Simpsons, and Roseanne. All of these shows did have a time where they were great, but then characters started to falter. SpongeBob, Patrick, Homer Simpson, Ned Flanders, Mark, Jackie...

Do I think that everyone on Steven Universe will fall into the trap? No. I think, at the worst case, Peridot's character will simply suffer from this pattern of writing. Do I think she will become flanderized? I don't know. I mean, I thought SpongeBob was great, I though Homer Simpson was a decent father, I thought Jackie was the cool one- Peridot could join this list.

Or maybe the episode just reverted her for the Looney Tunes reference... I use reference lightly, because when you do the exact same thing it's not exactly a reference. I don't know, but I hope that Peridot doesn't continue this trend or we might be heading down the same path that we've seen many times before. Even with Peridot demoted to a side character, it would be a shame...

And for the love of stars, would it kill you to give Peridot an actual weapon again?!

Even More Weird FNAF Toys (Coloring books and Papyrus.)

I seriously thought I was done. Wow, that wasn't the case. I found more toys and while some may look familiar, these were definitely worth showing off. Though I fear that this might be the last time I have enough items to do a full report on these FNAF toys... Until, of course, after Sister Location spawns a whole new group of characters to put in merchandise.

First we have a set of five FNAF characters.

You may recognize this packaging from the Minecaft Harem set of FNAF figures. Like those, this is a box with five figures, but this one is clearly more FNAF-like than those. Though it still mistakenly says 'six' figures on the package. The set contains Freddy, Chica, Foxy, Bonnie, and Golden Freddy. First thing's first; something looks off about the dolls.

You may notice that right away; they certainly look a bit more cheap than the actual figures in the group. Their colors are a little off, like Bonnie's grape purple and Chica's lemon yellow. Getting a closer picture shows that the painting job is not as good the closer you get.

The legs also look a little funny, but I don't know if they move or not. There's really not too much to say about this. It's... Pretty standard... Except, of course, for one thing that stands out.

Yet again, we have a toy that glows. I... Am baffled. This picture also shows that Freddy and Goldie both have Foxy's ears and I'm not certain why. But even better, you know that background that I said was odd? I found a cake topper that seems to be source image.

If you look closely, this is clearly the picture on the back of the package, and it's on the Freddy Harem too. It's definitely someone's fanart, but I don't know whose, unfortunately.

Now onto another figure. This one... Is very unique...

This is another glowing action figure. You might be wondering who the figure is. This is Blank, an animatronic made to be drawn on. He's one of the characters from 'Five Nights at Candy's'. Which means this is a fan character that's being sold as actual merchandise. This isn't too uncommon, but an actual action figure is a little more than the usual package pictures.

This one actually had me baffled for a while. For a short time I was torn on whether or not this was a legit plush or a knock off. After getting one of the official plushes, and realizing the tag is wrong, I've come to the conclusion that this is a fake. This Marionette plush goes for cheap online and is actually a close likeness, or close to what an in-game Mari plush would look like.

Shockingly enough, out of all of the Weird FNAF toys, this one is the only one that I've truly considered buying. It looks like the Marionette, it's adorable, and being a plush it isn't as likely to fall apart.

It was the Balloon Boy plush frequently shown with it that gave away that Mari was a fake. BB here is quite a bit more inconsistent in looking like BB. He holds a lollipop instead of a balloon, the sign says 'Hugs' instead of 'Balloons', and the shape is pretty off. For some reason I just think the Puppet looks closer to the character than the BB one.

What I'm moving onto next is something that I never expected to see... A FNAF Coloring Book.

Yet again, I'm somehow surprised. Someone made a FNAF coloring book. The cover, like most packages I've been seeing, has left me completely dumbstruck. FNAF World Freddy is surrounded by a cluster of Nightmare animatronics.

What is the most hilarious is the picture of Plushtrap in the front, arms crossed in the 'tough' position, trying to look cool. Or how about that weird endoskeleton on the left of the book? That endoskeleton that I don't think I've seen before in any games.

These are the first two pages. You can also see the stickers that come with it in the center. Plushtrap looks okay, but Nightmare Freddy... Looks ridiculous. With so many dark spots he can't be fun to color. The small squares at the top say 'Pega Aqui', I think it's 'Get/Place Here' and is probably for the stickers. Which is also odd; why put the stickers back into the book? It's not even a sticker book!

There's also plus and minus signs, fruits, and words with letters missing floating around the page. It doesn't contrast right with either of these characters, especially Nightmare Freddy. Look at this; beefy, scary Freddy surrounded by fruits. Totally fits the mood.

Here we have Chica and Funtime Foxy from FNAF World. They're surrounded by numbers and squares but they at least look easier to color. They look so plain though without any backgrounds... Even that silly 'Five Nights with Friends' picture looked like it would be more fun to color than this. There's also a Freddy one, but I'll skip showing it.

Here we have Nightmare Chica and Nightmare Foxy. The same complaint as before with the Nightmare coloring. There's also a Bonnie one as well. Again we see numbers and vegetables floating around in space around the two characters. The back cover has some numbers and shapes on it, no pictures of FNAF.

...And as unbelievable as it is. There's more coloring books.

This is the Halloween version, apparently. There's a cluster of Nightmare animatronics, normal Freddy, and the same Plushtrap from the coloring book before. I'm not exactly sure what that on the left side of the picture is, that white thing, but... I don't know. At least the coloring looks more accurate.

This coloring book is more dynamic certainly, though I wonder if it is stolen fanart. There's another group of stickers that are supposed to be put on the pages, the numbers, and even a word find on this one. I guess that would make this coloring book an improvement on the last one.

Though I am now starting to wonder if these pages are appropriate for children. That on the right really looks like it could scare a kid. I mean, I know there's adult coloring books, but with the numbers and stuff... This audience is seriously confused.

These two look more child friendly... With math questions on them. Huh... I'll skip past the Chica one that looks like Freddy and Foxy from before. Instead I'll move onto the back cover which is much more interesting than the last one was.

...Okay this... I ran out of words to describe this. Not only do both Springtraps look weird and Chica is winking, but what is up with Foxy?! His coloring is completely shot and his face- He doesn't even look like Foxy! What on Earth- Where did this even come from?!

This is where I reveal that there is a third comic book... And this is the one that left me the most speechless. I couldn't even believe this; there's not even as many provided pictures, it's just this cover that left me entirely speechless.

...Why yes, that is a freakishly deformed Nightmare Freddy.
And, yes, that is also a character from a FNAF fangame.
And, you see right, a cartoon Spring Bonnie.
And Papyrus.

What... How do I even react to this? A stolen fan character, an out of place cartoon, and Papyrus from Undertale. From the few pages shown inside the coloring book it doesn't look like there are any Undertale characters inside. What in the hell is he doing here?
(I didn't post the pictures because they were basically more of the same.)

The last item of the evening is another set of those FNAF handmade figures. The only reason I show them is because of how scary and deformed the Puppet looks.

It's like if the puppet from Saw melted and grew super big, long hands. Freddy and the gang are kind of unsettling too, but that Puppet is just frightening!... And strangely enough, that Endoskeleton actually looks pretty good. The painting and everything on him is actually nice, which is quite a contrast to the others. If he was alone and cheap then he'd be worth a purchase... Then again, Scary Mari might be fun for collectors.

So that is another set of weird FNAF toys! I don't know if I'll find any more, but these were certainly some strange ones to stumble upon. Will my quest of Freddy toys ever end? Will we ever figure out why so many of these toys glow? Only time will tell.

(These guys glow too.)

Reviewing Facebook Games (UPDATE): Suburbia abandoned.

Oh boy, I am wanting to eat my words now. A while back I reviewed a Facebook game known as Suburbia and gave it a moderately positive pass as a sim game. Unfortunately, I now realize the dark truth behind Suburbia, beyond the murder and scandal is something that is actually pretty bad.

My first sign that something was going on was when I noticed that the Easter themed items were still able to be bought and hadn't moved on to summer themed ones. I just assumed that they only did ones for specific holidays, shrugged it off, and continued to play. Then I got to episode six and hit a brick wall. The game said, and I quote;

"More to Come: Thanks for playing our beta so far. Like our game to receive updates about new releases! In the meantime, move up the career ladder and decorate your home. The Suburbia Team."

At first this seemed innocent enough. Okay, so I went through the main storyline faster than expected, right? It'll get a new episode soon, right? Wrong.

Upon checking the actual Facebook page for Suburbia I saw something that confirmed my worst fears. Fears on the game I mean, of course. The last post from the game was on September 20th, 2015, and this was just a, "Happy weekend! Some free money!" post. If we'll get technical, the last post that wasn't one of those was a contest where you could spot a zebra and win in game money. That was May 1st of 2015.

The Easter stuff came in April of 2015. I thought it was this year's Easter, but it was last year's! This was also the last update of any kind. Now brace yourself... Episode 5 was posted, get this, on March 13th, 2014.

This game has been abandoned by its creators, no longer updated, and yet it is still taking people's money. I saw thousands of comments begging for a continuation, lamenting spending money on rubies, and getting not even a response. The company that published this, the 'team' knows its in an unfinished state, and they haven't been able to update in two years. It's not that hard; these Facebook games don't need much implementing.

Look at City Girl Life, a game I panned because of its greediness for gold to get actual prizes. That game updates constantly with missions, specials, roulettes, and such. If that game can do it constantly, then why is it so hard for this game to do it? To do even the most basic of things? Game designing isn't this hard; all you do is set the mission to require x amount of items and type a little dialogue. It shouldn't be that hard.

And honestly, regardless of the little bit of money they make off of this game, they would be able to make so much more if they continued adding episodes. These people who bought rubies would have most likely bought again if the option was given to them, but it wasn't, and the game is abandoned.

I found this game on the front game page presented as though it was popular and thriving. Facebook doesn't have any sort of rating system, no comments on the actual game page, and frankly doesn't regulate the games it does have at all. This game should be labelled as incomplete and either taken down or have the ruby system removed entirely. This 'team' doesn't deserve money for slight content.

I will not be playing Suburbia again, I don't recommend it at all, the story really isn't good enough to warrant playing it, and I hope you take my suggestion and stay far, far away from it.

MORE Weird FNAF Toys (Freddy's Harem and s'more scary Mari)

I only wrote that post yesterday, and already I have found more of these bizarre FNAF toys on Ebay. I'm not sure if anything will beat the animatronics dressed like TF2 characters, but it might come close enough. I'll start with my first finding that I actually found last night, after my article was finished and done with.

Firstly, this is clearly a set of FNAF toys based on Minecraft. From the blocky bodies, to the weapons, it is clearly Minecraft. The set comes with Foxy, Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie in standard bodies and the Marionette in a sort of Enderman looking one. Marionette seems to also have a Yume Nikki or Undertale Gaster thing going on with his face. Though the box mistakenly says that it is a six pack when there are obviously only five characters. The Minecraft weapons seem really out of place, but I think it's the coloring.

The box is interesting because, most of the time, it looks good enough... Though a little confused. The picture on the top right looks pretty good, but for some reason is in front of Freddy in the middle. There's a weird earless Bonnie in the back left and for whatever reason, Freddy and Chica look scared of... A security guard? I don't know, it's behind Marionette and looks awfully stubby, whatever it is... The boxart is seriously confused, but they are at least still all FNAF characters. That's a plus.

Also, the product name is: Teddy Bear Midnight harem doll building blocks... I'm not kidding. Taking this title apart makes slightly more since. Teddy Bear is Freddy, Midnight could be the night part, they're dolls, and building blocks would be minecraft... But harem? Okay, looking at the exact definition of harem, to see if there's a different meaning than the one I immediately thought of, a harem is basically a group of women. I see one female character here. Where did this become a Harem?!

I mean, Bonnie kind of has a girl's name, and Foxy's also sort of a girl's name, and Marionette wears makeup... Oh wait... So that's the real mystery behind Freddy's, the mystery of how Freddy singlehandedly acquired a harem.

This toy is currently on bid for $5 with no shipping... So the price is pretty low if you want it. What you see is what you get, but having a harem is worth any price. Onto the next thing!

This pack came in a plastic bag with a tiny tag on it. Oddly enough, the tag has pictures of the tiny licensed toys that you can buy; the ones in the small boxes. The toys themselves look... Odd. Firstly, Freddy is absent. The only version of Freddy is Golden Freddy. Instead, there is an Endoskeleton. They have stands that they can pop off of, but the stands aren't really fit for them.

Golden Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica look okay enough. The Endoskeleton is a little tooo big... But it's Spring Trap and Foxy that are weird. Springtrap has pink feet, an oddly shaped head, and is bright yellow. Then there's Foxy... Who is clearly wearing a pink shirt. You can see it in this picture. That's clearly just a pink shirt instead of... You know, no pink shirt.

Next we have a set of bobble heads that might be familiar.

You may recognize these as the mystery figures that I mentioned earlier, with a few changes. Firstly, you may notice the long necks with springs around them. I think these may be bobble heads of some kind, but I don't know if they work. All of the coloring is askew, especially BB who I said would probably be the worst. Once again, the stands do not fit, and they have holes on the top for keychains that they don't have. Other than that, they look pretty close to the originals... Except Marionette.

Marionette's got the strangest red face paint here... And it actually works. If not for the weird spring, the hole, and the awkward stand I would think he looks pretty cool. But I could repaint a normal, legit keychain and get one. I don't recommend these when they're basically repaints of official merchandise.

This lot is another strange one. The characters look to be made of clay and don't seem to have articulation. It's a really mixed bag; some of these look good, some look bad, but the biggest problem is definitely the painting. The painting is really inconsistent. While from afar it looks good, the closer you get the more splotches you find. Another problem is the doubling of characters. Look, you can clearly see three Chicas that look almost identical!

I like the tiny Puppet, but this picture really shows the somewhat shoddy painting job. The articulation is clearly missing here too. They aren't that bad and they are cheaper than the TF2 lot, running at $85 with $32 shipping... But the painting and lack of articulation is a total turn off, especially when it's this expensive.

This next one is very similar to these... But there's one big, BIG difference.

More clay looking figures... Except that these dilapidated looking figures are painted odd colors and some have strange faces. Again, BB stands out as one of the ones painted least similarly to his normal form. Though you probably notice the big, rainbow glowing Freddy in the back. It looks enough like Freddy, but seems to have this mechanism to glow that you may remember from the Marionette in the last series of FNAF toys. I don't know why so many of these have this rainbow light feature, but the toys do look similar enough.

Then there's Golden Freddy and Marionette.

At first I thought that was Golden Bonnie's arm around Marionette's waist. That would've been a weird twist. Instead, Goldie and Mari look quite terrifying. Interesting... But the confused bunch is certainly even more confused than the last one! Look at Chica's chainsaw there; that's insanity. It again runs at $87 with shipping and... No, I just don't know about these. Maybe if they came alone I would buy these two, and they would have to be cheap. This is definitely the most unnerving Puppet of the group.

Now we are onto a very strange set of toys. Because this next set contains both toys and extra stuff... And this stuff holds something a bit concerning. Here we go...

This set literally calls itself a bootleg in the Ebay title. I'm not exactly surprised. The faces and bodies on these are mutated looking, but familiar. In fact, these are all from the lot with the weird coloring... With one big change. These toys come with a puzzle, a lottery(what?), a memory game, a surprise toy, and cards. Here is the entire set below.

Of course all of these are bootlegs, but the arm on them is questionable. Obviously these images aren't all from the game, you can see that they aren't. Some of them look slightly suggestive, some are game pictures, some are cartoon versions of Foxy, and one is...

...Is that Popgoes the Weasel?

Okay, if you don't know, Popgoes the Weasel is a fancharacter in the game Popgoes. The game was recently released, had an arcade teaser, and also has a (punny) connection with the Puppet. Maybe I'm wrong, but that looks like Popgoes, and that means that not only fanworks, but fancharacters are being used to sell fake merchandise. That's... Pretty dirty. Dirty pool, Mister. Dirty Pool. 

I also have no idea what the surprise toy is. 

The next toy is actually a game instead of figures. It's a lottery, I'm not sure how you play a lottery game, but it's another item where the packaging is the best part of the package... So I'll show the game first.

I'm guessing a 'lottery' is like a bingo game. It comes with cards and a picture covered board. The pictures are mostly from the games, which is better than the game before. Though there's a strange picture on the top left of Freddy, Chica, and Bonnie sleeping together. I'm not too sure why this is, but the picture isn't taken fanart at least. Instead, it looks like it was posed in SFM or something similar... Then comes the picture above, that I waited to show...

So, no one told you life was gonna be this way.

Seriously, what? Freddy's got an arm around Mangle, Mangle is against him, Bonnie and Chica are coddling and sending each other romantic looks, and Puppet is holding onto Bonnie's head and giving the peace sign with some really weird shaped find fingers. Friendly Nights at Freddy's? Five Nights with Friends? I don't know, I just get a friends vibe here. It's... Baffling. This is another one that announces it is a bootleg, but this is- Look at this.

I have to end it here. Like with FNAF's TF2 impression, I can't go on past this. Nothing will top this picture, I already know that now. So for now I'll bring this post to a close with a promise to find more weird toys in the future! Believe me, I know I will.

(Even the humans are glowing!)