Detective Stories: Finding Fun rather quickly.
In Detective Stories you do hidden object scenes and mini games to find clues, collect stars, and solve mysteries. The mysteries vary; I won't spoil much, but the first case is a murder, the second a kidnapping, the third a romantic affair, and the fourth is even a bank robbery case. With the clues you collect you find out more about the criminal and at the end of the case you arrest one of the suspects.
Every crime scene hidden object game takes ten energy points and you can hold about fifty-five. They slowly return over time; usually a point every few minutes or so. Whenever you raise a level your energy is refreshed and you can also earn coffees and such to refresh your energy. Some mini-games also reward you with energy depending on how long it takes you to finish them.
Analyzing clues can sometimes take some time. Sometimes fifteen minutes, sometimes a couple of hours, but usually you have other things you can do while it runs its coarse. In the meantime, you can collect stars by completing the scenes. Not only does this make the scenes more challenging, but after five stars the scenes only cost three points. The stars are used to analyse, examine clues, and question suspects.
You can also customize your male or female detective. You unlock extra features and buy them with money that you get in game for completing the hidden object scenes. After finishing a case it takes a few days for the next to unlock, unless you have friends. In this time you can collect stars on old cases and exchange them for coffee and other energy refueling objects.
I did find one, strange glitch. In the bonus scenes where you have to find the listed items in a limited amount of time, all of the items in the scene, sometimes the list won't show any new items. This actually breaks the scene as even if you use a hint you can't click on whatever it directs you to. I've only seen this happen a few times on that specific challenge.
All in all, I enjoy this game very much and when case five opens I'll be back for more!
Update: Reached case five and am enjoying it a bit more than case four. The game's still going strong!
City Girl Life: Gold digger
For everything City Girl Life does right it takes a massive step in the wrong direction by doing something incredibly awful. It almost seems like a normal Sim game, but it's main two problems is its need to leech on friends and it's addiction to consuming gold. This game wants nothing more than for you to feed it a steady stream of both and if you don't then you'll be punished by not being able to finish really any quests. Well, any quests that actually reward you.
You go to a city and sit in your little apartment filling needs constantly. I thought Sims had needs that dropped rapidly, but this is insane. It is almost impossible to stay dazzling, all needs filled fully, and sometimes you have to be dazzling to choose certain actions. All of the clothing, which sometimes must be acquired to continue on, is incredibly expensive except for the cheapest stuff... And frankly, none of it looks 'good'.
Again, quests are incredibly frustrating. You'll work halfway through one and then get stuck with an item that needs to be requested by a friend. If you don't have a friend who can send you the designated item then you'll have to pay for it with gold. It doesn't help that later in the missions you'll need more items that, of course, both need gold and then take twelve or more hours to complete. Did I mention that a good deal of these missions expire? What's even the point?
Then you might say, "If you don't like the missions then just play the game." Unfortunately I can't... Because there isn't a game outside of the missions. Building a career? Blocked by a friend request wall. Changing apartments? Blocked. New furniture and clothes? Too expensive. This is literally the only thing I can do in this game and it's trying its damnedest to milk me for 'gold'. I had to get gold through looping surveys and playing other awful games to get gold in return, so that I didn't actually have to pay. Not fun.
Basically City Girl Life is a gold digger whose looking for you to shower her in gifts and pay her way through the city, one that rewards you occasionally for all of your effort, but not enough to keep you entertained.
Island Experiment: Slows to a halt.
Starts out as a fun management game, gets to the point where you literally can't do anything. Seriously, it becomes a tug of war between making money and making food, both of which need the other to get in proper amounts. Doing anything involves both of these and getting them together is almost impossible. Even the gems you get, the paid currency, don't actually do much except speed time. Your only chance to get anything done is juggle food and money, get a few lucky breaks, and then waste it all buying or upgrading a building, then starting over once again.
The storyline, or lack thereof, is supposed to be about exploring the island. Most of the time you will instead be stuck at the same camp watching the same characters grow crops and clicking houses for gold. Missions don't lead much of anywhere and the rewards for missions are too minor to help you get into the next one, so you basically have a lot of time to kill along the way.
There's really not much to say about this. Expect to be stuck in an endless loop of looking for gold and food unless you're willing to fork out money or get extremely lucky.
The Heavens: Bribery will get you nowhere.
I've never seen a game so broken. So completely pointless and awful. The Heavens is complete hell. Firstly, you make a bland character of a cult out of a choice of six, then you battle... And battle... And battle... And everything you can do is blocked by a higher level limit, usually, save battling equal level members and the occasional weak ghoul.
And 'equal level' is garbage too. I went from equal battles in level two to level three, where every opponent has two thousand more health, more spells, tends to attack multiple times in a row, and is practically invincible. In one battle I got in a hit, then the opponent cast a heal spell, a power increase spell, knocked me down 800 health, and then chained eleven 'moves' in a row. It's a partial match three game too, it matched eleven in one shot. I was dead before I could attack a second time. Even training and upgrading you character doesn't seem to do much.
Why is this? Well, simple really. You can get a ton of diamonds, the game's special currency, if you go on its link and give it five stars. Five minutes into playing the game and it offered this; at that point it still was decent, but definitely not fun enough to warrant five stars. Sudden change in difficulty aside, the game is incredibly boring. Just battle after battle after battle. I guess that's why they need to bribe me to give them a five star rating.
You can't choose what level you want to fight either. I am stuck in stupidity; it will take me days to reach the fourth level which promised me free gold f I did so, but only a fool would keep playing. This game is a disaster in every way, wanting only a five star rating that it can't fairly achieve.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Saturday, May 14, 2016
Beware Inkitt, the Suspicious site that lies!
Ah, Inkitt, a site that came out last year and promises publishing opportunities for new authors. It even has chosen a promising young author to publish from her contest entry!
...Except one, little thing. Inkitt's been around for years. In fact, Inkitt's shady practices expand to a very large degree. It's time to put all the facts together.
I learned about Inkitt when it lured me and other fanfiction writers to a contest that actually rewarded with money. As you probably know or don't, it is illegal to get paid for Fanfiction works. It is a labor of love, one that is supported well enough, but still not our property to sell. Regardless, Inkitt did it. In fact, Inkitt had many fanfiction contests over the past five years.
The furthest back that someone mentioned being lured to Inkitt was in 2010, which means it has existed for quite some time now. There have been many original work contests too... But where are those winners? We know there must have been some, as they promised publishing. Every contest, except the Fanfiction ones, promised publishing the winning works. But then again, where are they? All I could find was the recent winner and the shocking reveal that Inkitt, who has been around since 2010 at least, only appeared last year.
It gets worse. Many users have reported receiving loads of spam once publishing their first story. Not all writers have gotten this, or I believe that's the case, but many have complained of their inboxes filling with tones of E-mails asking for more entries, to invite more friends, and more Inkitt spam.
The site is also incredibly barren. There's little on it and even the cover picture on the front page is taken from Oz the Great and Powerful. I find it especially lazy to use a movie picture to advertise what is such a legit site. I'm being sarcastic with the 'legit' part.
It gets a lot worse too. Oh yes, for the site says that winners of contests are chosen by votes. Indeed, authors can vote, but not only do some stories get hundreds of votes with only a few reviews, but some of the reviews are clearly fake. Most of them are roaring praise and yet seem to have the full title stapled at the beginning or halfway through. There is also some reviews that you can see on numerous stories, worded exactly the same.
Also, now they claim that an A.I. chooses which stories will win. So that means that apparently now voting doesn't matter even though you can still vote. I'm guessing that perhaps this was some sort of defensive excuse, or one to make them sound more advanced than they really are. Regardless, it really is confusing, and usually when something doesn't make sense that means something shady is going on.
Inkitt still spams Fanfiction writers. Recently it has started using another Twitter account too, along with its own 'Inkitt' one. The second Twitter account is called BookrestBookram. It leads to the same site but is a different name, which also doesn't make any sense. That means they are sending out all of these form letter invitations on both accounts, inviting to contests. For a site that claims it gets a lot of good authors and is willing to publish them, it still pushes harshly to lure others in under false pretenses.
Also, I have an account on it that I have tried to delete repeatedly, but they will not allow me to delete my account. This has caused me to grow very concerned about my E-mail and wonder if it isn't safe. The account was created before I realized how awful everything was and I am ashamed to admit that I was, for a while at least, duped.
Before I thought that this was a way to steal work from promising writers, and it may still be, but part of me wonders if it is also part of a money laundering sort of thing. Very strange to use publishing to do so, but the shady practices and lies would make more sense if they were using the fake site to cover income.
Or they could be changing names on books and selling them outside the country. It runs in Berlin, so if anyone's book was published there then nobody here would know and unsuspecting readers wouldn't either. Either way, this site that has existed for so long is claiming itself as a new site and now starting to send more messages to unsuspecting targets than ever.
Look, it's not worth it. The site claims to cut out the middle man for publishing, but then uses shady aspects in 'publishing' your work. Also, if it is publishing the work, then why does it let the book still be readable for free after they decided that it would be released? That's not sound business practice; everyone has access to the story and don't have to pay a dime, so why on Earth would next year 'fans' shell out cash to get it? Oh, because it won't be there next year, and Inkitt will be a budding site claiming it is only a couple of months old.
Be afraid. Run. Don't even try it. If you have a novel worth publishing then do it anywhere else; self-publish, publish through Amazon Ebooks, publish through a publishing company, anywhere is better than a strange site that claims to use Artificial Intelligence to choose its winners.
...Except one, little thing. Inkitt's been around for years. In fact, Inkitt's shady practices expand to a very large degree. It's time to put all the facts together.
I learned about Inkitt when it lured me and other fanfiction writers to a contest that actually rewarded with money. As you probably know or don't, it is illegal to get paid for Fanfiction works. It is a labor of love, one that is supported well enough, but still not our property to sell. Regardless, Inkitt did it. In fact, Inkitt had many fanfiction contests over the past five years.
The furthest back that someone mentioned being lured to Inkitt was in 2010, which means it has existed for quite some time now. There have been many original work contests too... But where are those winners? We know there must have been some, as they promised publishing. Every contest, except the Fanfiction ones, promised publishing the winning works. But then again, where are they? All I could find was the recent winner and the shocking reveal that Inkitt, who has been around since 2010 at least, only appeared last year.
It gets worse. Many users have reported receiving loads of spam once publishing their first story. Not all writers have gotten this, or I believe that's the case, but many have complained of their inboxes filling with tones of E-mails asking for more entries, to invite more friends, and more Inkitt spam.
The site is also incredibly barren. There's little on it and even the cover picture on the front page is taken from Oz the Great and Powerful. I find it especially lazy to use a movie picture to advertise what is such a legit site. I'm being sarcastic with the 'legit' part.
It gets a lot worse too. Oh yes, for the site says that winners of contests are chosen by votes. Indeed, authors can vote, but not only do some stories get hundreds of votes with only a few reviews, but some of the reviews are clearly fake. Most of them are roaring praise and yet seem to have the full title stapled at the beginning or halfway through. There is also some reviews that you can see on numerous stories, worded exactly the same.
Also, now they claim that an A.I. chooses which stories will win. So that means that apparently now voting doesn't matter even though you can still vote. I'm guessing that perhaps this was some sort of defensive excuse, or one to make them sound more advanced than they really are. Regardless, it really is confusing, and usually when something doesn't make sense that means something shady is going on.
Inkitt still spams Fanfiction writers. Recently it has started using another Twitter account too, along with its own 'Inkitt' one. The second Twitter account is called BookrestBookram. It leads to the same site but is a different name, which also doesn't make any sense. That means they are sending out all of these form letter invitations on both accounts, inviting to contests. For a site that claims it gets a lot of good authors and is willing to publish them, it still pushes harshly to lure others in under false pretenses.
Also, I have an account on it that I have tried to delete repeatedly, but they will not allow me to delete my account. This has caused me to grow very concerned about my E-mail and wonder if it isn't safe. The account was created before I realized how awful everything was and I am ashamed to admit that I was, for a while at least, duped.
Before I thought that this was a way to steal work from promising writers, and it may still be, but part of me wonders if it is also part of a money laundering sort of thing. Very strange to use publishing to do so, but the shady practices and lies would make more sense if they were using the fake site to cover income.
Or they could be changing names on books and selling them outside the country. It runs in Berlin, so if anyone's book was published there then nobody here would know and unsuspecting readers wouldn't either. Either way, this site that has existed for so long is claiming itself as a new site and now starting to send more messages to unsuspecting targets than ever.
Look, it's not worth it. The site claims to cut out the middle man for publishing, but then uses shady aspects in 'publishing' your work. Also, if it is publishing the work, then why does it let the book still be readable for free after they decided that it would be released? That's not sound business practice; everyone has access to the story and don't have to pay a dime, so why on Earth would next year 'fans' shell out cash to get it? Oh, because it won't be there next year, and Inkitt will be a budding site claiming it is only a couple of months old.
Be afraid. Run. Don't even try it. If you have a novel worth publishing then do it anywhere else; self-publish, publish through Amazon Ebooks, publish through a publishing company, anywhere is better than a strange site that claims to use Artificial Intelligence to choose its winners.
Friday, April 15, 2016
My Candy Love: Finding love by pacing hallways.
My Candy Love is an online dating sim that involves multiple choices and rewards depending on relationships formed with the characters. A few years ago I played this game constantly and was coming in every day to get my daily action points so that I could see what I could do next. Basically you woo the boys, make friends with the girls, and eventually unlock specific illustrations depending on which character you impress. One wrong answer will drop your affection, one right one will raise it, and you play through the basic high school drama.
Except that there is one big, big problem with this game. Before I get into it, you gain some energy and some money on a daily basis. Money can be used for buying clothing, but it also can be needed in the episode itself. Little trinkets bought in the storyline, like a CD or a bottle of water, usually run a small amount. At the end of an episode you usually have to buy an outfit for whichever guy's illustration you unlocked, which runs much higher, but at this point you'll have the money.
Before you mistakenly think that this is because the episodes are long, it is not. Many of the episodes are actually remarkably short with few decisions to make. Oh no, it's because of all the excess time that gets wasted in the process. See, let me explain; to continue through the game you have to do objectives in the story. Let's say you have to take papers to Nathan in the office and you're in the courtyard. It takes two energy to get to the hall and two to get to the office. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
See, you get ten energy a day, but every step takes two... So you get five energy a day and they absolutely do not refill before Midnight the next day. Not to mention there is a high chance that the character will not be there. This is a higher problem later in the game when more characters are added, because now you do have a chance to spawn others. So let's say the first time you enter there's nobody, then there's Melody, then there's nobody twice, then you finally find Nathan. That's fourteen energy, if we don't count getting there from the courtyard, and you basically did nothing.
That's on a lucky day too. Sometimes you can wander the school and look for someone so long that you run into other characters multiple times. I've done this so many times that sometimes the other characters simply stop giving dialogue and the random student I need to find is absent. It doesn't help that students' primary location may or may not move depending on the episode. It doesn't help that your choice doesn't matter on whether or not you have to sprint around the school.
In one episode a girl named Deborah comes looking for Castiel, one of the main love interests, and your character becomes suspicious and snoops. Even though I would rather snoop on someone else I get stuck doing this, and I feel both nosy and uninterested. Why can't it be a 'snoop' episode on whichever boy I want? Not to mention that this plot lasts, oh, five or so episodes for a character I really could care less about. Bad boys aren't my type.
There is a big narrative problem here as well, being that I can't choose which episodes I want to do. I know normally that's the point, but if I'm interested in someone else other than Castiel I have numerous episodes that focus on him and end with an illustration of someone else. Kind of pointless. The dialogue is also pretty alarming in two different ways.
Firstly, sometimes I'm hit with two equally offensive dialogue boxes and want to say neither, but can't. Your character by default is pretty outspoken, quirky, gets in the middle of things she shouldn't really, and seems to always say the worst possible thing even when you have a choice. It's hard to get invested in this girl, I guess her name's Candy, because she just screws everything up. I remember high school; drama existed, but I don't remember causing it constantly by saying the dumbest things.
Secondly, it's very hard to tell which dialogue options will help which characters. Sometimes they're obvious, but sometimes they aren't. Like Castiel, for one; one sarcastic answer will be the right one but then the next time you use sarcasm it rapidly drops his moods. Why? The same with Nathan, but his problem is three identical answers. Imagine having, "Okay", 'Yeah", and "Sure" as answers and having one wrong, one neutral, and one right. That's what a lot of Nathan's dialogue feels like.
And you're saying, "It can't get worse." But it can. One wrong dialogue choice can spell you not getting an illustration, and some of the choices are completely asinine. "Hey, X, right or left?" "Err... Left?" "Yeah, I knew you'd agree with me! Let's go outside and stand around." I find the most interesting illustrations are the holiday ones, by far. You can buy them with 100 AP or, you know, just be there on the holiday to unlock them. Some of them bring out really interesting stuff.
It seems like a lot of points, but if you break it down you get a good amount of content, especially since in these episodes you don't have to spend any extra AP, usually get an outfit, get an illustration, and sometimes even a bonus of some kind. For the same amount you can wander the halls. Trust me, I've spent AP easily. When I started playing the other day I had 100 AP for some reason and went through it trying to lead a friend to go to the teacher's lounge, find the teacher, and some dialogue options. It's sort of insane if you think about it.
There's also a few minigames that help you win AP. The first is a daisy petal minigame that nine out of ten times manages to fail. When it doesn't it usually gives only a little AP, literally. The other is whatever 'club' you get in episode three; gardening or basketball. Gardening is where you have to choose sprays and kill bugs while basketball is a pong clone. I chose gardening out of preference, but it's obvious that the basketball minigame is easier to get further in, which gives you more points.
As far as I'm concerned, there should be more minigames. They only give about four points on a really good day, two moves, so adding another minigame wouldn't be that bad. By which I mean one you don't have to pay for; you can play the other club game, but it will cost three points.
Then there's mortal pillow which unlocks at some point... Basically choose random moves and hope you win a pillow fight. Not fun, not interesting, and the points you need to win points are staggering. Even when the boards reset you find people in their hundreds after only a few minutes.
All in all, the challenges the game throws at you are not enough to keep you playing. Take it from me who played for almost a year and then quit without returning until now, at least two years later. The game is cute enough and the characters seem interesting enough, but that doesn't make the experience any better when you literally spend your days walking down hallways, searching needlessly for one specific character.
Play if you have incredible patience, but if you don't just avoid at all costs.
Monday, March 28, 2016
My Top 10 Favorite Video Game Heroines
I know I'll probably have a list that others disagree with, but these are my favorite female characters from video games. Some popular, some not well known, but all ones who I personally could look up to. Also, the photos in this blog were found online under Google Searches. I do not own them.
First let me go over a couple of honorable mentions:
GLaDOS: I really considered putting her on, but even stretching it GLaDOS would be more of an antagonist than a heroine, and not even really an anti-heroine. So I'll bench her until I arrive at a proper list.
Clementine: From the Walking Dead series, Clementine grew through the seasons from an innocent child to one that could protect herself. I still don't feel as close to her as I do these other ten, but she is very respectable, being able to take down both zombies and adults... To be fair I think the only reason she's not on this list is because of my own troubles with the Walking Dead game, which I won't dwell on.
Now onto my actual list.
MY TOP: 10 Favorite Video Game Heroines
10: Faith Conners from Mirror's Edge
I put her so low on this list because she's basically getting a reboot in the near future and I know there's a chance her personality will be changed. Technically that's going to be her canonical character after it comes out so for now I'm talking about Faith from the first game.
Faith's sheer strength and speed is astounding. She leaps over rooftops and takes down blues, 'cops', with little effort on her part to disarm them. Not only that, but Faith fears little, and is willing to get involved in uncovering a large conspiracy to save her framed sister, Kate. She is undeniably loyal. Nothing shakes her faith in her own abilities.
Between her incredible feats of strength and her firm morals, I can have the utmost faith in Faith.
9: Princess Garnet from Final Fantasy 9
In my opinion, Garnet is a princess done right. She's not merely a damsel in distress, but a growing and fluctuating character who goes from needing help to becoming a strong summoner and white mage over the course of the game. Not only that, but taking over as Queen of her kingdom, a feat that most princess characters, like Peach for one, don't ever tend to do. Then she prepares to protect her kingdom.
That being said, Garnet can be naive and too trusting, relying on her mother until the point that the Queen is actually willing to kill her, but does eventually learn and starts to become more cautious. What's great about Garnet is not that she's a perfect character, she's certainly not, but that she's able to learn and grow.
8: Rouge the Bat from Sonic the Hedgehog
Out of all of the female characters in the Sonic line up, which would be quite a long line including the current roster, Rouge is the one whose always stuck with me. While she is primarily a thief, she also works as a GUN agent and does her job relatively well, using her mix of stealth and acrobatics. Rouge is also a skilled fighter and has been able to hold herself against Knuckles, using her strong legs and wings to get a clear advantage.
This is a clear contrast with most of the other female characters, like Cream, whose frequently a damsel and distress, and Amy... Whose also usually a damsel in distress. Rouge wasn't made just to be saved and stands quite well when fighting for what she needs, or wants.
Confident, clever, and not afraid to stand up against anything coming after her as long as there's a big enough jewel waiting for her if she succeeds; Rouge is a strong and independent heroine (when she wants to be).
7: Shantae from Shantae
Shantae's spunk is only outdone by her magical skills as a genie. She can belly dance to transform, whip her hair to take down enemies, and keeps her home safe from any outside threats. What makes Shantae even more impressive is that for a period of time she did lose her magical abilities and was still able to make due with a variety of found weapons belonging to Risky Boots, her enemy who she was stuck in a truce with.
Perhaps she is a little unexperienced, Shantae is still relatively young compared to some of the other females on this list, but she still throws herself in head first and pulls out pretty well. You don't want this girl shaking her fist at you, but you will certainly want her protecting your town.
6: Samus from Metroid
Before anyone asks, Samus is lower on the list because I know she's on a ton of other lists. Still, what Samus accomplished, becoming one of the first female characters to take storm over the others, is quite a feat in and of itself... There's not really anything I can say other than that. Everything's already been said hundreds of times about Samus.
5: Marina from Mischief Makers
Marina is basically an intergalactic maid who takes care of an accident prone professor, but on a more descriptive note she is much more. She's strong, determined, and has a moral compass that always points towards good. Marina's sheer strength and ability to 'shake' things are quite impressive. She works with her cyborg body like a pro and fights creatures double her size.
Not to mention she does truly care for her professor who, in an ironic twist, gets kidnapped so much that it could rival some damsels in distress. She is willing to drop everything and throw herself fully into danger to save him. Her selflessness is certainly remarkable and her reward at the end is to become human, which depending on your inputted age will be either a girl or a woman.
Plus, Marina's one of the only girls I've seen knock around a guy when he gets too handsy.
4: Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie
Kazooie's got a sharp beak and isn't afraid to use it in more ways than one. Even though Banjo's 'sidekick', her use is shown through exactly how many of Banjo's attacks rely fully on Kazooie. In fact, it seems relatively possible that Kazooie could have done most of the quest on her own. But Banjo and her make a better team and balance each other out well.
Does that affect how good of a character she is? Not at all. She can hold her own fine. It's good to have a friend like Banjo too, as Kazooie's sharp tongue doesn't make her many friends. Then again, she doesn't need to be popular to be happy; she just needs a proper adventure and some baddies to beat. Or maybe a witch head to bat around in a friendly game.
3: Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite
There's no surprise why Elizabeth is here. She is on many top female characters lists, but I think it's worth putting her on it again. Elizabeth is certainly intelligent and, in the beginning of the game, is much more naive than towards the end of the game when she firms up. Through the course of the game she endears hardships and harsh realizations, becoming stronger along the way.
Not to mention her ability to open reality tears; literally tearing reality apart with her hands. This, as well, starts to become more powerful over the game until the point at the end of the game where she can see every reality, or all of the 'doors'. In a way she becomes omnipotent.
...However, I have a small bit of a confession. Personally I like Elizabeth's personality before all of the corruption sinks in; when she is smiles and wonder about her new world. That's the tragedy about her character; there's no going back to that girl she was before when she left the tower. She will always be tainted by what she saw and now sees her world for what it is. The look of someone's dreams shattered.
Elizabeth is both the cage and the bird, flying free and returning trapped again, over and over... On another note, I may be the only person who likes the cage cameo better.
2: Midna from Legend of Zelda
Midna is a perfect example of a side character done right. In a single game the Twilight Princess took storm as one of the first characters, apart from the main three (Link, Zelda, Ganondorf) to really take the stage and make it her own. Midna starts out with her own goals in mind, making an almost one-sided deal to help Link if he helps her, not thinking much of the world of light.
Yet as the story progresses, as she gets closer to Link, she starts to realize her selfish behavior and even reveals how she's been usurped from her throne. Zelda's sacrifice confirms her decision and she rises to stop Zant and Ganondorf by Link's side. Not only does this give Midna fleshed out character development not usually found in a Legend of Zelda game.
Her power alone is obvious early on and only grows with the fused shadow. From a simply sphere of energy that can shatter chains, to killing one of the main antagonists by impaling him with her hair, and finally becoming a larger, more powerful form to break into the barrier surrounding Hyrule Castle. Everything Midna does feels strong while feeling like she could always do more, even when severely injured by Zant midway through the game.
Even though her character was watered down in Hyrule Warriors, to make way for the excessive attention on Lana and a weird focus on shoving Link and Zelda together as a couple, she still pulls out a cool moment when she sucker punches the villain with her hair. Regardless of being a lesser character, Midna still manages to stand out, and that shows something amazing for her.
1: Alice from American Mcgee's Alice and Madness Returns
For years I admired Alice Liddell. She was one of the first female characters who I looked at and could honestly say that she was badass. After losing her parents and sister in a fire, Alice went insane and somehow survived years in a mental hospital before snapping alert inside of Wonderland to take her mind back. Of course there's hiccups along the way, deaths and tears, but Alice still keeps going and pushes herself further, saving herself. Then, after leaving the asylum, must save her mind again from a new threat that may be something there all along.
Alice is strong willed, snarky, and sharp-witted, not to mention especially skilled with a Vorpal Blade. She has a slew of other weapons as well from both games; the Croquet Mallet, the Pepper Grinder, and many more. Normal monsters and baddies don't make her bat an eye, not second guessing herself until stuck in an actual bind, and even then she still manages to push through.
Eventually she rises to claim her Wonderland and becomes at ease with both worlds, for the moment, and finally free of her Survivor's Guilt for being the only one who survived the fire that killed her family. Finally she manages to move on.
Alice is not damaged; she's gone through hell and back but still pulls through with her mind intact enough to know what she needs to do. Whether in the gloomy city of London or the seemingly bright world of Wonderland, she rights herself and continues to fight on. It is quite an impressive feat and while balancing on the edge of insanity at any moment, she continues to survive.
There was no way I couldn't put Alice at the top of my list. She is an impressive heroine who manages to smite the one villain who gave her a run for her money; herself. As of the last appearance of Alice, seeming in the Otherland shorts, Alice is still moving on with her head high and nothing standing in her way.
Thank you for reading! Please click a few ads and stay close by for my 'Top 10 video game Heroines I can't stand'. Title may change.
First let me go over a couple of honorable mentions:
GLaDOS: I really considered putting her on, but even stretching it GLaDOS would be more of an antagonist than a heroine, and not even really an anti-heroine. So I'll bench her until I arrive at a proper list.
Clementine: From the Walking Dead series, Clementine grew through the seasons from an innocent child to one that could protect herself. I still don't feel as close to her as I do these other ten, but she is very respectable, being able to take down both zombies and adults... To be fair I think the only reason she's not on this list is because of my own troubles with the Walking Dead game, which I won't dwell on.
Now onto my actual list.
MY TOP: 10 Favorite Video Game Heroines
10: Faith Conners from Mirror's Edge
I put her so low on this list because she's basically getting a reboot in the near future and I know there's a chance her personality will be changed. Technically that's going to be her canonical character after it comes out so for now I'm talking about Faith from the first game.
Faith's sheer strength and speed is astounding. She leaps over rooftops and takes down blues, 'cops', with little effort on her part to disarm them. Not only that, but Faith fears little, and is willing to get involved in uncovering a large conspiracy to save her framed sister, Kate. She is undeniably loyal. Nothing shakes her faith in her own abilities.
Between her incredible feats of strength and her firm morals, I can have the utmost faith in Faith.
9: Princess Garnet from Final Fantasy 9
In my opinion, Garnet is a princess done right. She's not merely a damsel in distress, but a growing and fluctuating character who goes from needing help to becoming a strong summoner and white mage over the course of the game. Not only that, but taking over as Queen of her kingdom, a feat that most princess characters, like Peach for one, don't ever tend to do. Then she prepares to protect her kingdom.
That being said, Garnet can be naive and too trusting, relying on her mother until the point that the Queen is actually willing to kill her, but does eventually learn and starts to become more cautious. What's great about Garnet is not that she's a perfect character, she's certainly not, but that she's able to learn and grow.
8: Rouge the Bat from Sonic the Hedgehog
Out of all of the female characters in the Sonic line up, which would be quite a long line including the current roster, Rouge is the one whose always stuck with me. While she is primarily a thief, she also works as a GUN agent and does her job relatively well, using her mix of stealth and acrobatics. Rouge is also a skilled fighter and has been able to hold herself against Knuckles, using her strong legs and wings to get a clear advantage.
This is a clear contrast with most of the other female characters, like Cream, whose frequently a damsel and distress, and Amy... Whose also usually a damsel in distress. Rouge wasn't made just to be saved and stands quite well when fighting for what she needs, or wants.
Confident, clever, and not afraid to stand up against anything coming after her as long as there's a big enough jewel waiting for her if she succeeds; Rouge is a strong and independent heroine (when she wants to be).
7: Shantae from Shantae
Shantae's spunk is only outdone by her magical skills as a genie. She can belly dance to transform, whip her hair to take down enemies, and keeps her home safe from any outside threats. What makes Shantae even more impressive is that for a period of time she did lose her magical abilities and was still able to make due with a variety of found weapons belonging to Risky Boots, her enemy who she was stuck in a truce with.
Perhaps she is a little unexperienced, Shantae is still relatively young compared to some of the other females on this list, but she still throws herself in head first and pulls out pretty well. You don't want this girl shaking her fist at you, but you will certainly want her protecting your town.
6: Samus from Metroid
Before anyone asks, Samus is lower on the list because I know she's on a ton of other lists. Still, what Samus accomplished, becoming one of the first female characters to take storm over the others, is quite a feat in and of itself... There's not really anything I can say other than that. Everything's already been said hundreds of times about Samus.
5: Marina from Mischief Makers
Marina is basically an intergalactic maid who takes care of an accident prone professor, but on a more descriptive note she is much more. She's strong, determined, and has a moral compass that always points towards good. Marina's sheer strength and ability to 'shake' things are quite impressive. She works with her cyborg body like a pro and fights creatures double her size.
Not to mention she does truly care for her professor who, in an ironic twist, gets kidnapped so much that it could rival some damsels in distress. She is willing to drop everything and throw herself fully into danger to save him. Her selflessness is certainly remarkable and her reward at the end is to become human, which depending on your inputted age will be either a girl or a woman.
Plus, Marina's one of the only girls I've seen knock around a guy when he gets too handsy.
4: Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie
Kazooie's got a sharp beak and isn't afraid to use it in more ways than one. Even though Banjo's 'sidekick', her use is shown through exactly how many of Banjo's attacks rely fully on Kazooie. In fact, it seems relatively possible that Kazooie could have done most of the quest on her own. But Banjo and her make a better team and balance each other out well.
Does that affect how good of a character she is? Not at all. She can hold her own fine. It's good to have a friend like Banjo too, as Kazooie's sharp tongue doesn't make her many friends. Then again, she doesn't need to be popular to be happy; she just needs a proper adventure and some baddies to beat. Or maybe a witch head to bat around in a friendly game.
3: Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite
There's no surprise why Elizabeth is here. She is on many top female characters lists, but I think it's worth putting her on it again. Elizabeth is certainly intelligent and, in the beginning of the game, is much more naive than towards the end of the game when she firms up. Through the course of the game she endears hardships and harsh realizations, becoming stronger along the way.
Not to mention her ability to open reality tears; literally tearing reality apart with her hands. This, as well, starts to become more powerful over the game until the point at the end of the game where she can see every reality, or all of the 'doors'. In a way she becomes omnipotent.
...However, I have a small bit of a confession. Personally I like Elizabeth's personality before all of the corruption sinks in; when she is smiles and wonder about her new world. That's the tragedy about her character; there's no going back to that girl she was before when she left the tower. She will always be tainted by what she saw and now sees her world for what it is. The look of someone's dreams shattered.
Elizabeth is both the cage and the bird, flying free and returning trapped again, over and over... On another note, I may be the only person who likes the cage cameo better.
2: Midna from Legend of Zelda
Midna is a perfect example of a side character done right. In a single game the Twilight Princess took storm as one of the first characters, apart from the main three (Link, Zelda, Ganondorf) to really take the stage and make it her own. Midna starts out with her own goals in mind, making an almost one-sided deal to help Link if he helps her, not thinking much of the world of light.
Yet as the story progresses, as she gets closer to Link, she starts to realize her selfish behavior and even reveals how she's been usurped from her throne. Zelda's sacrifice confirms her decision and she rises to stop Zant and Ganondorf by Link's side. Not only does this give Midna fleshed out character development not usually found in a Legend of Zelda game.
Her power alone is obvious early on and only grows with the fused shadow. From a simply sphere of energy that can shatter chains, to killing one of the main antagonists by impaling him with her hair, and finally becoming a larger, more powerful form to break into the barrier surrounding Hyrule Castle. Everything Midna does feels strong while feeling like she could always do more, even when severely injured by Zant midway through the game.
Even though her character was watered down in Hyrule Warriors, to make way for the excessive attention on Lana and a weird focus on shoving Link and Zelda together as a couple, she still pulls out a cool moment when she sucker punches the villain with her hair. Regardless of being a lesser character, Midna still manages to stand out, and that shows something amazing for her.
1: Alice from American Mcgee's Alice and Madness Returns
For years I admired Alice Liddell. She was one of the first female characters who I looked at and could honestly say that she was badass. After losing her parents and sister in a fire, Alice went insane and somehow survived years in a mental hospital before snapping alert inside of Wonderland to take her mind back. Of course there's hiccups along the way, deaths and tears, but Alice still keeps going and pushes herself further, saving herself. Then, after leaving the asylum, must save her mind again from a new threat that may be something there all along.
Alice is strong willed, snarky, and sharp-witted, not to mention especially skilled with a Vorpal Blade. She has a slew of other weapons as well from both games; the Croquet Mallet, the Pepper Grinder, and many more. Normal monsters and baddies don't make her bat an eye, not second guessing herself until stuck in an actual bind, and even then she still manages to push through.
Eventually she rises to claim her Wonderland and becomes at ease with both worlds, for the moment, and finally free of her Survivor's Guilt for being the only one who survived the fire that killed her family. Finally she manages to move on.
Alice is not damaged; she's gone through hell and back but still pulls through with her mind intact enough to know what she needs to do. Whether in the gloomy city of London or the seemingly bright world of Wonderland, she rights herself and continues to fight on. It is quite an impressive feat and while balancing on the edge of insanity at any moment, she continues to survive.
There was no way I couldn't put Alice at the top of my list. She is an impressive heroine who manages to smite the one villain who gave her a run for her money; herself. As of the last appearance of Alice, seeming in the Otherland shorts, Alice is still moving on with her head high and nothing standing in her way.
Thank you for reading! Please click a few ads and stay close by for my 'Top 10 video game Heroines I can't stand'. Title may change.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Cringeworthy Characters: Dodie from As Told By Ginger
As Told by Ginger was a cartoon airing on Nick that dealt with the life and times of Ginger Foutley, a preteen-teen girl who deals with middle school drama, high school drama, and her home life. I personally liked the show for a while, though I think the animation is pretty rough and I think some of the later seasons make all of the characters basically unlikable. However, there is one that stands out above all, a widely hated character from most people who watch it. Seriously, look at the comment section of any Dodie-centric episode. There is a lot of hate.
Unfortunately it is much deserved hate as well. Dodie Bishop may be a realistic character with her faults, but she's still frustrating and aggressive. I'm going to do a bit different of an approach to this one than before. Instead of reviewing two episodes alone, I'm going to review two of her worst episodes and then list a line of everything else that she's done, because it's simply an awful excuse for a friend. First, let's start with the list of mini things.
In the episode 'Cry Wolf', the main problem of the episode, being Miranda blackmailing Ginger, is brought on by Dodie's gossip about her friend.
In 'Season of Caprice', Dodie becomes overbearing on her friends in an attempt to impress the counselors.
In 'Lunatic Lake', Dodie blames Carl for ruining their trip when it was actually her mother. It's one of the few times that she's called out on her behavior.
In 'Love with a Proper Transfer Student', Dodie becomes jealous and angry at Ginger because of her getting close to her crush in the play, not even aware that Ginger does have a crush on him.
In 'Next Question', Dodie coaxes Ginger into asking her teacher out, leading to an embarrassing moment. (Though Ginger made it much worse for herself.)
In 'Wicked Game', Dodie and Macie attempt to break Ginger and Darren up through dirty means. The only reason I didn't use this episode is because I may review it at another time.
In 'Heat Lightning', Dodie throws a fit when Ginger goes to Courtney for advice.
In 'Fair to Cloudy' Dodie fights with Ginger about bringing Darren with them to the Fair and invites Courtney along to spite her. (It's worth noting that Darren was always the fourth in their group of friends so the jealousy is slightly confused.)
In 'Kiss Today Goodbye' Dodie knows Darren is with another girl and decides not to tell Ginger and instead tells Darren to do so. (Though arguably it was Darren's place to say, she could've at least not waited as long.)
Now we go onto the two episodes to really look at her cringeworthiness; 'Of Lice and Friends' and 'Dodie's Big Break'. These episodes are also good as they take place in what I would consider the two periods, middle school and high school, as most personalities changed a bit once in high school.
'Of Lice and Friends' begins with an assembly where Dodie is chosen to make the morning announcements. The position almost immediately goes to her head when she's noticed by popular girl Courtney. Later she's shown to already get too invested with her position, upset that the announcements aren't that exciting and getting the go-ahead to spice them up. She adds in some gossip along the way, which catches the interest of the kids and gains her fans.
Dodie starts taking more gossip even when Ginger suggests that she stops. It starts to increase right around the time when it is revealed that there is a lice outbreak. Soon Dodie reveals over the intercom that Ginger's mother is going to be the 'lice lady'. I'm not sure why this is so embarrassing, but it is clearly frustrating to Ginger who calls her out. Dodie considers it a hot story and is unapologetic, even becoming upset at Ginger. By the next day the two are no longer speaking.
Ginger complains to Macie that she can't trust Dodie. (Yet later forgives her as usual, spoiler alert.) Courtney is revealed to have lice. The next day, I guess, Dodie asks the janitor about notes and talks about how important it is that she has something good to say, because everyone 'hangs on her word'. Peeking around in the office she manages to find the lice report and sees it as a way to make herself more popular. So during the morning announcements she begins listing students with lice.
Spurred on by Courtney, Ginger rushes to the office and unplugs Dodie, stopping her from saying Courtney's name but not stopping her from humiliating the other kids. They get in a brief fight and Ginger storms out. Later Lois, Ginger's mother tells Ginger to make up with Dodie. On the phone they both apologize for their behavior and the episode ends.
Let's talk about how awful the moral at the end is; Ginger apologizes with Dodie about what happened. Ginger shouldn't apologize because nothing she did was out of line, when Dodie recieved no comeuppance for her selfish, cruel, and even negligent behavior. She even is confirmed to keep doing the announcements from her own words. There is absolutely no reason that Dodie shouldn't give a full and honest apology instead of a 'me too' one.
So as you see so far, Dodie is a popular obsessed girl whose willing to stab anyone in the back if she thinks it'll make her popular. She's also diluted; thinking that she'll get popular for rattling out gossip. As far as I'm concerned she left some of the popular girls impressed, but I never saw them inviting her to patrol the school with them. It's to the point that she walks on Ginger and Macie, but then neither girl ever dreams of cutting ties.
Now Dodie's Big Break.
It begins with Ginger looking and feeling awful when coming back to school. Apparently she's already back to school after what was a clearly rough surgery. Dodie appears in a mascot outfit and reveals she's, surprise, the school mascot. The next day Ginger and Macie watch Dodie's display with the pep squad, even though she's in pain and bitter about her recent failed relationship.
Dodie dances too close to the cheerleaders' pyramid routine and they fall on her. The next day Ginger and Macie are worried as they haven't heard from her, mind you that they are her best friends, and find out that she is now both wheelchair bound and a member of the cheerleading squad. At this point Dodie start to be constantly cared for by the cheerleaders and continues ignoring Dodie and Macie. They're even sent away by the cheerleaders when they try to approach.
Finally they confront her at her house only to spot her faking her injuries. Ginger calls out Dodie on her actions and Dodie challenges her, saying that nobody will believe her. As expected, Dodie keeps faking her injuries, and any attempt to have her trip herself up fails. Finally they trap her in the bathroom and knock her out of the wheelchair. Dodie cries and throws a big tantrum, then basically brags about being a mascot, and eventually Ginger comforts Dodie, regardless of her previous behavior.
The episode continues to drag along as the coach refuses to keep her as the mascot and Dodie cries again, which means we're supposed to feel sorry for her. Ginger even insists that Dodie should be forgiven and confronts the coach, cornering her until Dodie gets an audition, which she botches. Regardless the coach gives her the mascot job back and promises that she can try out the next year.
Both of these episodes show the same thing; Dodie being selfish, not caring about her friends, obsessed with herself, and regardless of what she does always is forgiven by the end. All this episode says is that no matter what is done to you, if you're a good friend you're forced to forgive them. Again Dodie gets no comeuppance at all under the accusation of the coach's bias.
Regardless if the coach is biased or not, what Dodie did was basically blackmail. They try to act like she didn't realize they let her join the cheerleaders because she is injured, but if that was the case why would she continue the act with no intention to stop? Not to mention that her behavior towards her friends it both negligent and aggressive, and any smart person would drop the friendship.
What's even worse is that this is what all Dodie-centric episodes tend to be. Whenever she does anything wrong she's immediately forgiven. One big example is when she and Macie try to break Ginger and Darren up. I wasn't planning on mentioning it, but it's worth bringing up. What they did was so manipulative and backstabbing that Ginger should've no longer been their friend, but instead the episode ended on a cliffhanger and by the next episode they were friends again.
What really happened? Well, they knew that there would have to be emotions present, so they just pretended it never happened. Apparently it's brought up later in a throw away line, but it doesn't matter. Dodie repeatedly does spiteful and aggressive things to two girls she's known since elementary school, and she never really faces consequences for it. What a witch... Or a bitch.
Dodie: A.K.A. Podie Dipshot
Occupation: Leeching off her friends and clawing for popularity.
Hobbies: Back stabbing, being bitter, and treading on her friends.
Lives in her own fantasy world, which is completely focused on herself.
Current state: Closed for business.
Unfortunately it is much deserved hate as well. Dodie Bishop may be a realistic character with her faults, but she's still frustrating and aggressive. I'm going to do a bit different of an approach to this one than before. Instead of reviewing two episodes alone, I'm going to review two of her worst episodes and then list a line of everything else that she's done, because it's simply an awful excuse for a friend. First, let's start with the list of mini things.
In the episode 'Cry Wolf', the main problem of the episode, being Miranda blackmailing Ginger, is brought on by Dodie's gossip about her friend.
In 'Season of Caprice', Dodie becomes overbearing on her friends in an attempt to impress the counselors.
In 'Lunatic Lake', Dodie blames Carl for ruining their trip when it was actually her mother. It's one of the few times that she's called out on her behavior.
In 'Love with a Proper Transfer Student', Dodie becomes jealous and angry at Ginger because of her getting close to her crush in the play, not even aware that Ginger does have a crush on him.
In 'Next Question', Dodie coaxes Ginger into asking her teacher out, leading to an embarrassing moment. (Though Ginger made it much worse for herself.)
In 'Wicked Game', Dodie and Macie attempt to break Ginger and Darren up through dirty means. The only reason I didn't use this episode is because I may review it at another time.
In 'Heat Lightning', Dodie throws a fit when Ginger goes to Courtney for advice.
In 'Fair to Cloudy' Dodie fights with Ginger about bringing Darren with them to the Fair and invites Courtney along to spite her. (It's worth noting that Darren was always the fourth in their group of friends so the jealousy is slightly confused.)
In 'Kiss Today Goodbye' Dodie knows Darren is with another girl and decides not to tell Ginger and instead tells Darren to do so. (Though arguably it was Darren's place to say, she could've at least not waited as long.)
Now we go onto the two episodes to really look at her cringeworthiness; 'Of Lice and Friends' and 'Dodie's Big Break'. These episodes are also good as they take place in what I would consider the two periods, middle school and high school, as most personalities changed a bit once in high school.
'Of Lice and Friends' begins with an assembly where Dodie is chosen to make the morning announcements. The position almost immediately goes to her head when she's noticed by popular girl Courtney. Later she's shown to already get too invested with her position, upset that the announcements aren't that exciting and getting the go-ahead to spice them up. She adds in some gossip along the way, which catches the interest of the kids and gains her fans.
Dodie starts taking more gossip even when Ginger suggests that she stops. It starts to increase right around the time when it is revealed that there is a lice outbreak. Soon Dodie reveals over the intercom that Ginger's mother is going to be the 'lice lady'. I'm not sure why this is so embarrassing, but it is clearly frustrating to Ginger who calls her out. Dodie considers it a hot story and is unapologetic, even becoming upset at Ginger. By the next day the two are no longer speaking.
Ginger complains to Macie that she can't trust Dodie. (Yet later forgives her as usual, spoiler alert.) Courtney is revealed to have lice. The next day, I guess, Dodie asks the janitor about notes and talks about how important it is that she has something good to say, because everyone 'hangs on her word'. Peeking around in the office she manages to find the lice report and sees it as a way to make herself more popular. So during the morning announcements she begins listing students with lice.
Spurred on by Courtney, Ginger rushes to the office and unplugs Dodie, stopping her from saying Courtney's name but not stopping her from humiliating the other kids. They get in a brief fight and Ginger storms out. Later Lois, Ginger's mother tells Ginger to make up with Dodie. On the phone they both apologize for their behavior and the episode ends.
Let's talk about how awful the moral at the end is; Ginger apologizes with Dodie about what happened. Ginger shouldn't apologize because nothing she did was out of line, when Dodie recieved no comeuppance for her selfish, cruel, and even negligent behavior. She even is confirmed to keep doing the announcements from her own words. There is absolutely no reason that Dodie shouldn't give a full and honest apology instead of a 'me too' one.
So as you see so far, Dodie is a popular obsessed girl whose willing to stab anyone in the back if she thinks it'll make her popular. She's also diluted; thinking that she'll get popular for rattling out gossip. As far as I'm concerned she left some of the popular girls impressed, but I never saw them inviting her to patrol the school with them. It's to the point that she walks on Ginger and Macie, but then neither girl ever dreams of cutting ties.
Now Dodie's Big Break.
It begins with Ginger looking and feeling awful when coming back to school. Apparently she's already back to school after what was a clearly rough surgery. Dodie appears in a mascot outfit and reveals she's, surprise, the school mascot. The next day Ginger and Macie watch Dodie's display with the pep squad, even though she's in pain and bitter about her recent failed relationship.
Dodie dances too close to the cheerleaders' pyramid routine and they fall on her. The next day Ginger and Macie are worried as they haven't heard from her, mind you that they are her best friends, and find out that she is now both wheelchair bound and a member of the cheerleading squad. At this point Dodie start to be constantly cared for by the cheerleaders and continues ignoring Dodie and Macie. They're even sent away by the cheerleaders when they try to approach.
Finally they confront her at her house only to spot her faking her injuries. Ginger calls out Dodie on her actions and Dodie challenges her, saying that nobody will believe her. As expected, Dodie keeps faking her injuries, and any attempt to have her trip herself up fails. Finally they trap her in the bathroom and knock her out of the wheelchair. Dodie cries and throws a big tantrum, then basically brags about being a mascot, and eventually Ginger comforts Dodie, regardless of her previous behavior.
The episode continues to drag along as the coach refuses to keep her as the mascot and Dodie cries again, which means we're supposed to feel sorry for her. Ginger even insists that Dodie should be forgiven and confronts the coach, cornering her until Dodie gets an audition, which she botches. Regardless the coach gives her the mascot job back and promises that she can try out the next year.
Both of these episodes show the same thing; Dodie being selfish, not caring about her friends, obsessed with herself, and regardless of what she does always is forgiven by the end. All this episode says is that no matter what is done to you, if you're a good friend you're forced to forgive them. Again Dodie gets no comeuppance at all under the accusation of the coach's bias.
Regardless if the coach is biased or not, what Dodie did was basically blackmail. They try to act like she didn't realize they let her join the cheerleaders because she is injured, but if that was the case why would she continue the act with no intention to stop? Not to mention that her behavior towards her friends it both negligent and aggressive, and any smart person would drop the friendship.
What's even worse is that this is what all Dodie-centric episodes tend to be. Whenever she does anything wrong she's immediately forgiven. One big example is when she and Macie try to break Ginger and Darren up. I wasn't planning on mentioning it, but it's worth bringing up. What they did was so manipulative and backstabbing that Ginger should've no longer been their friend, but instead the episode ended on a cliffhanger and by the next episode they were friends again.
What really happened? Well, they knew that there would have to be emotions present, so they just pretended it never happened. Apparently it's brought up later in a throw away line, but it doesn't matter. Dodie repeatedly does spiteful and aggressive things to two girls she's known since elementary school, and she never really faces consequences for it. What a witch... Or a bitch.
Dodie: A.K.A. Podie Dipshot
Occupation: Leeching off her friends and clawing for popularity.
Hobbies: Back stabbing, being bitter, and treading on her friends.
Lives in her own fantasy world, which is completely focused on herself.
Current state: Closed for business.
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Reviewing Facebook Games: (Cooking Mama, Dessert Shop, Panic Room, Diner Dash)
More Facebook games to review. So many Facebook games, not enough time.
Cooking Mama: Let's Cook! (a handful of recipes)
I have played Cooking Mama before so I am familiar with the game and, on the whole, this game holds the standards of the others games. The movements work on the laptop as well as they did on game systems, or they feel like they do. The meals are still broken into mini-game-like steps that are easy to understand.
However, there's one fatal flaw. Instead of a heart system like most games, where you have to recharge your energy, Cooking Mama only has four recipes. From what I know you can unlock more recipes by playing for seven days in a row. You may be able to get some by completing Papa's Challenges, but most of the time his rewards are practically worthless decorating items.
This basically makes the game become a chore. Play one day then come back in every day just to register that you were there so that you don't have to make yet another steak. I mean, you can combine recipes in amusing ways, but it doesn't make up for the repetition. Three days of challenges giving pointless items make me weary of Cooking Mama.
To clarify again; the cooking gameplay is fine, but the small selection of recipes, the challenges that repeat recipes constantly, and the pitiful rewards are what brings the game down.
It's fun at first, but quickly becomes a chore. Ironically a decent metaphor for cooking itself.
Update: Made it to the end of the week and got a recipe, completed it in a few minutes and combined it with another recipe for fun. Now out of things to do for the next week.
Dessert Shop: Cafeland's Strange Sibling
I mentioned that there wasn't really anything to do in Cafeland. Dessert Shop fixes that problem, but in the process creates a few of its own. You basically run a dessert based shop instead of a cafe, but all this means is a limited selection of menu items, which at first doesn't seem too bad until you find yourself stuck clicking all over the screen. Click this, click that, click this again and then click that to create X to put into oven with Y to make the other.
There's a reason the dining room is so small and the rest of the restaurant is extremely spacious as you unlock it. The goal isn't serving customers, it's clicking a few things to unlock something, to click something else, to wait, to be able to have something on a display counter for when customers who pass in get hungry. There's still the lingering problem like Cafeland where the food will sit for too long. Missions will ask you to make other foods, but the first ones will still sit there as customers slowly appear and vanish. This becomes more of a problem when you serve more than one meal.
Even though there's more stuff to click, Dessert Shop is only slightly improved over Cafeland. Yet it doesn't feel any more fun. I played it for a few days and noticed that I could stick with it a little better than Cafeland, but soon afterwards lost all interest into continuing.
Panic Room: Don't panic, just play.
By which I mean, Panic Room is actually a pretty good game. It's a hidden object game where you complete quests and find items to get through missions and through the story. The storyline would be that the Puppet Master has kidnapped you and taken you into his mansion where you have to play his game with a group of others to escape. Along the way you can collect items to help you, like medicine or food to heal you and give your more energy.
Whenever you open a door, or play a level, it injures your hands and causes you to bleed energy out. This is what limits your energy and it, like the other games, refuels over time. The fact that they explain why you are losing energy is a small detail that I think goes a long way. At least it's a bit more of a story to add onto it.
The scenes of the mansion are nice to look at and put you in the 'dark mansion' sort of mood. The music and sound effects are also quite nice There's also the risk of traps, though I haven't seen them. I'm guessing that they are activated when you click the wrong thing, but I'm not fully certain. At least it sets the mood, but it doesn't give a sense of actual danger.
After playing a couple of other hidden object games on Facebook, I can say that it is the story and tone that makes it stand out a bit more. It's nothing like the hidden object games you'll find on Big Fish Games but it is a nice one to play without having to pay, especially since it advertised that they frequently add more missions to the game with updates.
I recommend a play and I think I'll probably have fun with this game for quite a while longer!
Diner Dash: Dumpster Dash
Diner Dash is one of my favorite games, but this version is a cash grab if there ever was one. The game's difficulty spikes very soon in and becomes generally unplayable. You're rushed with customers who lose hearts relatively quickly. The customers at the table are much, much worse; they will go from three hearts to one in a matter of seconds just because I delivered someone else's food before their's.
The last level I completed, with the celebrity, was practically impossible to complete. Even if you get everyone out of the restaurant, the command to 'click paparazzi away' never worked.They came in immediately, fidget when clicked and then whisk her away. Of course I had to get a perfect score with her to continue. At the sacrifice of five other customers I managed to spam click for my life and succeed.
It doesn't help that Flo is impossible to control. Most of the time she barely moves and I've had her completely ignore commands. I'll send her repeatedly to put a ticket away and yet she'll still be carrying it with her after numerous goes. When she lags the rest of the game does not; I'll lose a wave of customers solely because Flo is too busy stuck in a loop. I also hate that I managed to randomly get an automatic mop that cleans spills yet Flo still stops on them and cleans when in the vicinity. She takes a bit too long cleaning as well.
Also, the spills are a nightmare. I remember when a family would make a spill in the other games and I'd be annoyed because I had to grab a mop. In this game I had one coffee addict create five spills at one time, and naturally Flo's walk path to the ticket taker got a hair too close to two of the spills and cleaned both. In this time both Barb tables went down a heart. It's not like you can give them coffee either when you have to shell out so much to the constant Shakers.
There are two currencies; the coins that you get from playing and the bucks that you sometimes get but usually have to buy. Almost all of the needed upgrades that will help you have any form of fun need bucks. Almost all of the decor options too, and the few ones that don't take a lot of coins. Needed upgrades like the coffee machine can be unlocked, and bought with gold coins, through the levels, but the difficulty, again, will stunt you. When you can't even unlock proper decor items to raise patience you know there's a problem.
The game also constantly logs you out. Sometimes it takes three minutes, but sometimes I'll go to use the bathroom, not even take three minutes, come back, and then I'm logged out. This game also has awful servers, and I've never had a game's loading bar decrease, then increase, and then decrease again. This happens every time it sneaks and 'logs me out'. A true hassle. It constantly spams messages that say either 'my browser is slow' or 'our servers our full'. Game, figure it out. Is it my fault or yours?
Dragging customers never works; sometimes it takes two or three tries to grab a customer, sometimes they get stuck on the wrong colored table and you get stuck seating them. I already mentioned the customers always dropping hearts rapidly. Turning on the jukebox helps, but dishing out menus is just a hassle and a waste of time, especially when the people at the tables are so aggressive.
Then there's the energy. Oh boy, this is a big issue. You lose energy with each level, like most games work. To compare to other games; Suburbia has 15 points of energy and you use one per most actions, though some don't require any, and a point restores every five minutes. Panic Room usually has 120, uses 15-25 depending on room, restores every three minutes, and can be restored quicker with food that you can get as rewards occasionally. Then there's Diner Dash... Diner Dash has three energy points, three alone, and takes a whopping thirty minutes to restore. I couldn't even fathom this!
I mean, consider this; Panic Room takes a while to refresh fully as well, but I can play quite a few more scenes. I feel like I'm doing more in Panic Room, especially when there's a chance that the Diner Dash game will glitch out and cheat me into losing, or log me out if I have to pause for even a split second.
You're probably wondering if there's a reason I'm having all of these problems. There is; I'm not paying. All of the good, almost needed, upgrades are behind a thick paywall. All of the bonuses, the powerups, the decor, all of it is asking for money, and that is completely out of the question. I won't put money into a game that already has so many issues in it; that's insane.
While I do enjoy the other Diner Dash games, this was just a mess, and I would be fine with never playing it again.
Until next time! Speaking of money related matters, feel free to randomly click on some adds around my post if you want to. Don't worry, it's not required to do to read any of my posts!
Cooking Mama: Let's Cook! (a handful of recipes)
I have played Cooking Mama before so I am familiar with the game and, on the whole, this game holds the standards of the others games. The movements work on the laptop as well as they did on game systems, or they feel like they do. The meals are still broken into mini-game-like steps that are easy to understand.
However, there's one fatal flaw. Instead of a heart system like most games, where you have to recharge your energy, Cooking Mama only has four recipes. From what I know you can unlock more recipes by playing for seven days in a row. You may be able to get some by completing Papa's Challenges, but most of the time his rewards are practically worthless decorating items.
This basically makes the game become a chore. Play one day then come back in every day just to register that you were there so that you don't have to make yet another steak. I mean, you can combine recipes in amusing ways, but it doesn't make up for the repetition. Three days of challenges giving pointless items make me weary of Cooking Mama.
To clarify again; the cooking gameplay is fine, but the small selection of recipes, the challenges that repeat recipes constantly, and the pitiful rewards are what brings the game down.
It's fun at first, but quickly becomes a chore. Ironically a decent metaphor for cooking itself.
Update: Made it to the end of the week and got a recipe, completed it in a few minutes and combined it with another recipe for fun. Now out of things to do for the next week.
Dessert Shop: Cafeland's Strange Sibling
I mentioned that there wasn't really anything to do in Cafeland. Dessert Shop fixes that problem, but in the process creates a few of its own. You basically run a dessert based shop instead of a cafe, but all this means is a limited selection of menu items, which at first doesn't seem too bad until you find yourself stuck clicking all over the screen. Click this, click that, click this again and then click that to create X to put into oven with Y to make the other.
There's a reason the dining room is so small and the rest of the restaurant is extremely spacious as you unlock it. The goal isn't serving customers, it's clicking a few things to unlock something, to click something else, to wait, to be able to have something on a display counter for when customers who pass in get hungry. There's still the lingering problem like Cafeland where the food will sit for too long. Missions will ask you to make other foods, but the first ones will still sit there as customers slowly appear and vanish. This becomes more of a problem when you serve more than one meal.
Even though there's more stuff to click, Dessert Shop is only slightly improved over Cafeland. Yet it doesn't feel any more fun. I played it for a few days and noticed that I could stick with it a little better than Cafeland, but soon afterwards lost all interest into continuing.
Panic Room: Don't panic, just play.
By which I mean, Panic Room is actually a pretty good game. It's a hidden object game where you complete quests and find items to get through missions and through the story. The storyline would be that the Puppet Master has kidnapped you and taken you into his mansion where you have to play his game with a group of others to escape. Along the way you can collect items to help you, like medicine or food to heal you and give your more energy.
Whenever you open a door, or play a level, it injures your hands and causes you to bleed energy out. This is what limits your energy and it, like the other games, refuels over time. The fact that they explain why you are losing energy is a small detail that I think goes a long way. At least it's a bit more of a story to add onto it.
The scenes of the mansion are nice to look at and put you in the 'dark mansion' sort of mood. The music and sound effects are also quite nice There's also the risk of traps, though I haven't seen them. I'm guessing that they are activated when you click the wrong thing, but I'm not fully certain. At least it sets the mood, but it doesn't give a sense of actual danger.
After playing a couple of other hidden object games on Facebook, I can say that it is the story and tone that makes it stand out a bit more. It's nothing like the hidden object games you'll find on Big Fish Games but it is a nice one to play without having to pay, especially since it advertised that they frequently add more missions to the game with updates.
I recommend a play and I think I'll probably have fun with this game for quite a while longer!
Diner Dash: Dumpster Dash
Diner Dash is one of my favorite games, but this version is a cash grab if there ever was one. The game's difficulty spikes very soon in and becomes generally unplayable. You're rushed with customers who lose hearts relatively quickly. The customers at the table are much, much worse; they will go from three hearts to one in a matter of seconds just because I delivered someone else's food before their's.
The last level I completed, with the celebrity, was practically impossible to complete. Even if you get everyone out of the restaurant, the command to 'click paparazzi away' never worked.They came in immediately, fidget when clicked and then whisk her away. Of course I had to get a perfect score with her to continue. At the sacrifice of five other customers I managed to spam click for my life and succeed.
It doesn't help that Flo is impossible to control. Most of the time she barely moves and I've had her completely ignore commands. I'll send her repeatedly to put a ticket away and yet she'll still be carrying it with her after numerous goes. When she lags the rest of the game does not; I'll lose a wave of customers solely because Flo is too busy stuck in a loop. I also hate that I managed to randomly get an automatic mop that cleans spills yet Flo still stops on them and cleans when in the vicinity. She takes a bit too long cleaning as well.
Also, the spills are a nightmare. I remember when a family would make a spill in the other games and I'd be annoyed because I had to grab a mop. In this game I had one coffee addict create five spills at one time, and naturally Flo's walk path to the ticket taker got a hair too close to two of the spills and cleaned both. In this time both Barb tables went down a heart. It's not like you can give them coffee either when you have to shell out so much to the constant Shakers.
There are two currencies; the coins that you get from playing and the bucks that you sometimes get but usually have to buy. Almost all of the needed upgrades that will help you have any form of fun need bucks. Almost all of the decor options too, and the few ones that don't take a lot of coins. Needed upgrades like the coffee machine can be unlocked, and bought with gold coins, through the levels, but the difficulty, again, will stunt you. When you can't even unlock proper decor items to raise patience you know there's a problem.
The game also constantly logs you out. Sometimes it takes three minutes, but sometimes I'll go to use the bathroom, not even take three minutes, come back, and then I'm logged out. This game also has awful servers, and I've never had a game's loading bar decrease, then increase, and then decrease again. This happens every time it sneaks and 'logs me out'. A true hassle. It constantly spams messages that say either 'my browser is slow' or 'our servers our full'. Game, figure it out. Is it my fault or yours?
Dragging customers never works; sometimes it takes two or three tries to grab a customer, sometimes they get stuck on the wrong colored table and you get stuck seating them. I already mentioned the customers always dropping hearts rapidly. Turning on the jukebox helps, but dishing out menus is just a hassle and a waste of time, especially when the people at the tables are so aggressive.
Then there's the energy. Oh boy, this is a big issue. You lose energy with each level, like most games work. To compare to other games; Suburbia has 15 points of energy and you use one per most actions, though some don't require any, and a point restores every five minutes. Panic Room usually has 120, uses 15-25 depending on room, restores every three minutes, and can be restored quicker with food that you can get as rewards occasionally. Then there's Diner Dash... Diner Dash has three energy points, three alone, and takes a whopping thirty minutes to restore. I couldn't even fathom this!
I mean, consider this; Panic Room takes a while to refresh fully as well, but I can play quite a few more scenes. I feel like I'm doing more in Panic Room, especially when there's a chance that the Diner Dash game will glitch out and cheat me into losing, or log me out if I have to pause for even a split second.
You're probably wondering if there's a reason I'm having all of these problems. There is; I'm not paying. All of the good, almost needed, upgrades are behind a thick paywall. All of the bonuses, the powerups, the decor, all of it is asking for money, and that is completely out of the question. I won't put money into a game that already has so many issues in it; that's insane.
While I do enjoy the other Diner Dash games, this was just a mess, and I would be fine with never playing it again.
Until next time! Speaking of money related matters, feel free to randomly click on some adds around my post if you want to. Don't worry, it's not required to do to read any of my posts!
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Cringeworthy Characters: Taffy, from Rugrats
I stopped watching Rugrats back when I was about six or seven. Before that point it was a regular cartoon that I had watching quite often, but I had lost a bit of interest in it that late into the show. Mostly anything after the second Rugrats movie. You'd think it would be from the addition of Kimi to the show, but I actually didn't mind her. I think I was just getting out of it.
During the last episodes I watched they introduced a new character to the cast, a teenage girl named Taffy. At the time I remember that I was confused at why she got so much screentime and was turned off. Recently I became curious and watched her introduction episode 'Happy Taffy'. Mostly out of some sort of sadistic reveling perhaps.
Unlike the norm, when I look back at something and realize it wasn't that bad, Taffy was a lot worse once I re-watched the episode featuring her.
Happy Taffy starts with Didi and Stu looking for a babysitter. When they can't find one, Grandpa and Lulu suggest that they hire her niece Taffy to babysit. They go listen to her at the bowling alley before she agrees to babysit, even when Didi is reluctant. The adults finally decide to test her by having her take the kids to the park. She also needs to practice singing for a gig her band got. Unfortunately, this spurs Angelica to keep singing horribly, and Taffy sings a song she suddenly makes on the spot, which is honestly pretty bad.
Finally they get to the park and she loses Angelica while the babies play in the sand. The adults are meanwhile watching from the bushes. Taffy tries to make another song and the babies mistake her for being sad and try to cheer her with 'toys'. So they bring her trash, which she doesn't notice, and it inspires her to make a different song. The babies then play with the trash and the adults creepily stalk the scene instead of watching from a safe distance. It isn't as though she'll notice.
There's a Godfather parody, which isn't the first Godfather parody on Rugrats. They bring her ice, she sings again, and Stu takes the scene as Taffy doing something other than just sitting there. Angelica returns and sings until Dil throws a rattle at her. She yells at Dil, Taffy encourages the behavior, and then when Angelica continues Taffy stops and sends her away. After this Taffy does the first babysitter thing she's done this entire time and gives the babies juice boxes, then goes back to making another song.
When an old lady passes by the babies realize that they're cute... Or, well, they used to be. They come over and dance for her, Angelica too. When the adults see it they are relieved and Taffy is happy because her new song could be a 'hit'. She then walks off playing and the adults approach to announce her as the permanent babysitter. The babies are happy, Angelica keeps singing, Taffy is happy, and all is well.
...So where do I start? Firstly, Taffy screams of 'Cousin Oliver' syndrome, though without the breaking or ruining things. She's clearly being brought in to be 'cool with the hip kids'. What with her band and her guitar, and the fact that she's a teenage character period being brought into a show focusing on toddlers. The adults even refer to her as 'Teeny Rocker'. Rocker? Now that is a stretch. It's incredibly grating that they hammer it in so much.
Especially with he slew of 'slang' words that I don't ever remember being popular; such as her calling the babies 'Minis' and her cry of 'Excel-licious!' It just feels a little too forced, especially considering that she doesn't do anything but sit around. She doesn't do anything for the babies or really for the adults, so it's not readily obvious why the show acts as though she is a great choice as a babysitter. We're supposed to like her singing and rocking (lacking) personality and forget her complete lack of actually being a babysitter.
Also, I can't help but cringe whenever she sings. She actually doesn't sound good, regardless of how good she's supposed to be considering that she constantly gets jobs, and all of the lyrics in the episode are bad. I think that was the point, but 'Mini Shake', the last song in the episode, is just as poor as all of the other attempts. If Angelica's singing was a meta joke about the viewers feeling towards Taffy then well done, but I doubt it.
There's also a ton of Mary Sue traits hovering around her being. Not enough to stick her through the actual test. The entire music thing is clearly just leaking of trying to be cool, especially since she's: gifted with music, plays a guitar well, has a great singing voice, has a successful band, and creates (apparently) popular songs in only a matter of minutes. She's also practically loved by everyone as soon as she appears; the babies don't even care that their Grandpa is being replaced by some strange girl who doesn't do anything.
Worst of all, the entire episode is basically about her. Instead of: the babies meet their new babysitter and learn how to adjust. The episode is: Taffy tries to write a song for her gig. The babies think she's sad and try to cheer her. Basically the babies are the main characters and yet don't do anything in the episode other than fetch items.
So maybe it was a bad first episode. I decided to watch a second Taffy related episode to see if it was just a bad first impression. The second episode I watched was 'Who's Tammy?'
The episode starts with Didi and Stu getting ready. The babies cheer that Taffy is going to be coming to babysit and she appears. Tammy comes in depressed and the babies notice. Taffy sadly laments to Stu that her band might be breaking up. The other two members being named Tammy and Tabby- What? He sympathizes with her before getting his socks on to leave with Didi.
Taffy sits on the couch and the babies notice she's upset. They leave the playpen and Kimi mentions that she might sing a song 'like she always does'... One of these writers was aware of the issue. Yet Taffy shocking decides not to. I also notice she now has a different guitar. The babies are worried and Angelica appears, still doing the guitar thing. They think she stole 'Taffy' from 'Taffy'. This is, remarkably, pretty slow for even the babies to assume.
Taffy is flattered by Angelica dressing like her and even gives her a hair clip. This begs the question why she's been baically ignoring the babies until this point, as she's not depressed enough to keep from encouraging Angelica. Angelica agrees to be nice, and is nice to the babies which encourages their fear. They believe it's the hair clip and decide to get it back. Chuckie suggests they keep Angelica nice, which the others ignore even though it makes more logical sense.
After a long feud they get it back and to Taffy, but they hear her yelling on the phone about not playing with 'dumb babies'. It's weird that she didn't use something more slang-filled or at least less childish. The babies cry, Angelica does stuff, and Taffy still isn't watching them. The babies decide to make Angelica mean again to reverse Taffy, who still is complaining on the phone. Angelica goes to give cookies to the babies, really intending to eat them herself.
The babies start asking a lot of questions and try to annoy her to death. Right as Angelica is about to slip, Taffy, who has a fish for some reason, gives her a look and she recovers the 'nice' persona. They then hide her little instrument and she searches until Tammy appears and she begs her to sing. Instead, Taffy has Angelica sing as she dances with the babies, having made up with her band.
So what can we now clarify about Taffy? Firstly, she's an awful babysitter. She spends most of her time ignoring the babies and instead either cooking or yelling on the phone. Her cooking dirties the kitchen and her sandwich dirties the floor. She calls Angelica out on her behavior, but won't even watch the kids for two seconds so it doesn't matter anyway.
This biggest problem is that whenever Taffy is in an episode she is the main focus of the episode. The babies always want to help her, she usually has troubles that the babies solve, everyone likes her (even Angelica), and the episode seems to cut away to her thoughts and comments as frequently as it can. This was the last season and why I don't think Taffy made it end I don't think it helped at all. With Dil and Kimi they both became parts of the show without changing the formula, but Taffy seems to clearly change things in a bothersome way.
Maybe I'm being too critical, but I know why the new character addition turned me away as a child, and this is why I consider Taffy a cringeworthy character.
Taffy: A.K.A. Teeny Rocker
Occupation: Another successful musician teenager in a band, she's even the lead.
Hobbies: Yelling on the phone, playing the guitar, writing poor songs, and ignoring 'minis'.
Native Language is 'Cool' gibberish.
Current state: Closed for business.
This biggest problem is that whenever Taffy is in an episode she is the main focus of the episode. The babies always want to help her, she usually has troubles that the babies solve, everyone likes her (even Angelica), and the episode seems to cut away to her thoughts and comments as frequently as it can. This was the last season and why I don't think Taffy made it end I don't think it helped at all. With Dil and Kimi they both became parts of the show without changing the formula, but Taffy seems to clearly change things in a bothersome way.
Maybe I'm being too critical, but I know why the new character addition turned me away as a child, and this is why I consider Taffy a cringeworthy character.
Taffy: A.K.A. Teeny Rocker
Occupation: Another successful musician teenager in a band, she's even the lead.
Hobbies: Yelling on the phone, playing the guitar, writing poor songs, and ignoring 'minis'.
Native Language is 'Cool' gibberish.
Current state: Closed for business.
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